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"It's Christmas. Buy This Crap."
Christmas shopping starts in earnest this week. Spurred on by hundreds of millions of dollars of advertising, more than one hundred and fifty million Americans will celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ by engaging in a mindless, debt-building, four-week frenzy of consumerism.
They will shop every day from here to Christmas. And every day from here to Christmas, experts will extract some giant rectal thermometer from the sphincter of the economy, read the retail sales numbers, and announce them to a hovering Wall Street.
Then Wall Street will pronounce the numbers, "Not good enough," and go to the whip to spur the offending retailers on. And offending retailers will lower prices in an effort to amp the Christmas shopping frenzy up.
And for what? So you can give that dork of a brother-in-law some object made in China? Rest assured that, whatever you choose to give him, your brother-in-law will still be a dork after you've given it to him.
It might be different if retailers didn't just phone Christmas in these days. But no.
For retailers, fleecing America at Christmas has become a birthright. Like the Bush family's birthright to the presidency. And, like a Bush presidency, Christmas has acquired meaningless form and shed substance at an alarmingly accelerating rate lately.
For retailers, it's down to cliché advertising (kids in scarves, sweaters and stocking caps, snowflakes, trees, lights, etc.) in-store signage, cheap seasonal help, and Christmas music over the PA system.
Never mind the real meaning of Christmas. They can't even get the real meaning of Christmas retail right.
They're telling us, "It's Christmas. Buy this crap." That's all.
Recently, the Fed dropped interest rates and released $40 billion in an effort to coax a few more RPMs out of the sputtering V-8 of the American economy. No doubt, they had the housing sector and the subprime mortgage crisis in mind.
But you've got to believe the Fed was sending the rest of us another message, too. The message says, "It's Christmas. Buy this crap."
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"Pete Smith is a Twin Cities-based humorist" [?]
this Christmas-season buying, giving and getting springs from aspects of our humanity that predate Christianity, which simply plagiarizes existing rituals (pagan and otherwise).
If we didn't have & use Christmas as the excuse, we would most likely just act this out more expansively at other times of year - New Year, birthdays, summer (instead of winter) solstice, etc.
Christmas, per se, is just the pretext. We live in a material world, where (for upwards of 95% of us) all of our basic needs are covered. What to do with the excess? what to do . . . what to buy . . .what to give . . .what to wish for . . .
So - businesses cater to this human demand - so? They advertise to show us what they have in the best possible light - so? The Fed makes the mistake of focusing on the short-term economic signals instead of long-term security of a stronger dollar - so? Nothing new there, ahead of an election year with a Fed Chairman who wants to keep his seat, no matter who the next president may be . . .
Praise the Lord and pass the eggnog! LOL!
Great post!
christmas capitalism at its best or worst depending on your view of the world.
people still dont get it create an economic system based on greed is good and this is what you get.
mindless americans will shop till they drop in hopes of having and finding some form of happiness in materialism.
like chasing a ghost.
capitalism to unchecked capitalism to savage capitalism to soulless corporations to wars for profits to imperialism to fascism.
hey americans still think reagans trickle down theory works for the middle class? he gotcha good.
repubs have made a god out of him for his ability to screw the middle class and have them like it and even wanted more of his ability to generate wealth for the haves and have mores at the expense of the middle class.
now go home middle class and look for that socialist under your bed like your parents did for those commies while the folks in the wars for profits business smiled all the way to the bank.
in a unchecked capitalist system there are 100 suckers born every minute and two have mores to take them.
brainwashed americans will follow capitalism all the way to fascism and blame the politicans all the way to fascism for their ignorance.
Spot on! Coincidentally, Will Steger, the famed polar explorer, preached this last Sunday at my church against this very type of mindless consumerism--buying crap. Unfortunately the mindless consumerism connects with the much greater evil of global warming and the waste of resources. Mindless shopping and professional sports are the opiate of the people these days. So "Mucus Relief" and the "Season's Sparkle" all become a matter of ethics.
The commercialization of XMAS. Kudos Peter, excellent piece!
Mr. Smith, best post I have read in quite a while, perfect.
I think I must get more than two hundred credit card solicitations a year. It's unbelievable how this can go on. I remember when I was in college, I didn't qualify for a single card. Now young people start their adult lives so far in the hole that they have to cut someone's throat to get out. The Federal Reserve thrived on debt and now the people are screwed. Time to say, screw the federal reserve, DEFAULT on the debt. The country is bankrupt! The dollar is useless. Start over.
Kudos, Peter!
PITCH PERFECT analysis of the insanity of the Xmas season!!!!
I can tell most of the comments, if not all, come from folks who are NOT in the retailing industry.
And I'm NOT talking about expensive idiot things like clothes for your dog/cat or other assorted items such as gold plated whatevers or Rolls Royce's or 2nd or 3rd homes...
I'm talking about shirts, sweaters and pants and other nuts and bolts things.
Fact is that most retailers still aquire a profit...if they make their profit....around the Christmas Season because that is when folks do tend to spend money. After all,2/3 of our economy IS consumer spending.
Now, you can argue from now til doomsday but the fact remains...if you have a BAD Christmas Season...if folks don't go out and spend....
The ECONOMY SLOWS DOWN!
And when the ECONOMY SLOWS DOWN....guess what happens?
People lose their jobs, which means families have extreme problems....etc, etc, etc.
So, this Christmas Season, while your up to your ears in BAH HUMBUGGING Santa Claus (St. Nicholas) Christmas etc. just start thinking about how our actions or non actions effect others and our whole nation...
Gee, I can already tell that none of you come from a real retailing family:)
Trust me, you would feel different if you did.
We have advanced to totally ignoring Christmas. We don't even get a tree.
I forgot to say that my way of celebrating the birth of Jesus is to spend all the money that I didn't spend on presents for my darling children to get blind and offensively drunk on Christmas Eve and spend the next day vomiting back what I paid for the night before....there must be a metaphor there somewhere...I can't wait
It's not only at Christmas that this crap is bought and sold....it goes on all year long....do you really need (I mean really need) that 52" flat screen TV for your bathroom? I mean would your life actually have less meaning if you happened to miss 5 minutes of American Idol while you were taking a dump? Would your life be any less significant if you were to miss the BudLite commercial during the two minute warning time-out during the Giants game while you snuck out for a pee? Or maybe the prospect of missing that loathsome Sean Hannity's mindless rant while you shower would prevent you from having any opinions to discuss with your redneck friends....
How about that V12, 5-mile-to-the-gallon Hummer, you have been promising yourself?....wow you would really look great in that as you drive the 300 yards to the supermarket...in a Hummer you wouldn't look like a dork at all...everyone in their Aztecs would think you were really cool and they wouldn't be able to see your fat ass...
Empty dreams, people, are not without cost...
Where has all this $$ for frivilous, conspicuous consumption been coming from, if wages have been stagnating and REAL inflation been rising? We all know that most of it has been sourced from a float on the false equity in the only investment most middle-class people have - their homes. Now that that has dried up, rate resets are about to go through the roof, and the dream for a lot of families has gone up in smoke, or at least is being delayed several years - where the fuck is the money going to come from this year?? And the sentiment from a lot of people that I am hearing for the first time in my life is "ENOUGH!! Do we really need a HD-DVD and a brand new plasma?" The financial future is bleak for most of us in the middle class with no safety net. It's way past time we buckle down, both personally and as a nation, and start living within our means. The bill is coming due for a lot of honest, hard-working people out there, and I feel sorry for many of them. Greed has got the best of us, and many are starting to ask questions. Who is better off? Who wins? Is the game rigged?
Ask yourself and if you are angry, one very effective way to protest is to just not participate. I love the idea of making donations to worthwhile causes in the names of your loved ones. A gift that still communicates a warm thought a big F-YOU to the power structure.
"Festivus for the rest of us"
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Posted November 18, 2007 | 08:52 AM (EST)