Would Same Sex Beastiality Be Constitutional, Too?

This just in from a concerned American:

Dear Reverend Governor Huckabee,
My pet schnauzer Winston and I have decided to make life's journey together. We want to be married. The sooner the better. You know how impetuous young lovers can be.

There is only the small question of constitutionality, and we were wondering if you could clarify it for us.

We know you feel that making homosexual marriage constitutional might lead to making man-animal marriage constitutional. So our question is this:

If same sex marriage between human beings makes man-animal marriage constitutional, would it make same sex man-animal marriages like the one Winston and I plan constitutional too? Or did the Founders think that Winston or I would have to undergo gender change surgery before the United States of America would recognize our union?

It's a thorny issue, I know. One that both Winston and I are sure has flummoxed many a religious and constitutional law scholar over the years. Perhaps you yourself pondered it in theological school or in your role as Governor of Arkansas.

If you are unable to parse the subtleties of the point, perhaps you would be so kind as to ask Justice Scalia when you see him? As a devout Catholic, a judge and a hunting man, he no doubt loves God, the law and hunting dogs. Maybe he's had an opportunity to give the question some thought.

Thank you so much, Reverend Governor. And look for an invitation to our upcoming wedding in the mail. As for ideas for a present, I'm registered at Crate & Barrel and Target. Winston is registered at Petco.

Yours truly,

Shep St. Bernard

Comments

[WorkingClass]

You are a funny dude Peter Smith. Thanx and keep up the good work.

[Cay]

Find yourself a bible passage supporting bestiality and see Huckabee dance around it.

[fitCTmom]

soooo funny!

[PatA]

I had a dog a few years ago that was a far better companion and partner than Mike Huckabee could ever imagine. (even in his religous right-winged christian terrorist's dreams)Tippy had a a great soul and never once thought about discriminating against anyone or any creatures. Sad that Huckabee didn't meet my dog.
Huckabee is very, very scary...when he starts comparing homosexuality to bestiality, we need to run, and not to the Arkansas hills.

[cognate]

If you thought animals had rights you wouldn't eat them.

[UncleDave]

This is My take on the issue- It's none of my business. If a man wants to marry a goat(or a dog in this case),and the goat agrees and signs the proper papers,who am I to say? It's sex.And someone's sexual proclivities(sex with children excluded) are private and none of my business.IMHO.

[AngryAmish]

I wish you and Winston a lifetime of happiness, Shep.