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Peyton Price
Peyton Price is the author of Suburban Haiku: Poetic Dispatches From Behind The Picket Fence. She lives in suburbia (of course) with her long-commuting husband (of course) and two above-average children (of course). Drop by anytime at

Entries by Peyton Price

Lawyer Up, Moms!

(14) Comments | Posted September 19, 2014 | 5:46 PM

I'm still ticked about NBC's Parenthood. As you might recall, after Julia quit her big lawyer job, she struggled as a stay-at-home mom -- losing arguments with her kids, getting stuck on the worst school committee and agreeing to place her child in the wrong class. Just like no real-life...

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Bustin' Rhymes: Nursery Classics Revised for Moms

(4) Comments | Posted September 5, 2014 | 9:58 AM

Don't you want to squish that itsy bitsy spider? I mean, seriously, how many times is it going up the water spout and do we have to sing a song about it every single freaking time? "Patty Cake" is cute, I'll give you that. But "mark it with a B"?...

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Out of the Suburbs and into the Woods: A Haiku Diary

(3) Comments | Posted August 8, 2014 | 2:36 PM

"Vacations are the perfect time for a family to re-group, re-connect and reflect." -- An idiot without kids.

Truth: Family vacations are a whirlwind of frantically keeping your people entertained and happy when what you want is to be bored. Just for 10 minutes. One minute. One second.


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You Can't Always Poop Where You Want

(0) Comments | Posted June 10, 2014 | 4:34 PM

No one does yearning and desperation like Mick Jagger. After all, he can't get no satisfaction. And neither can a stay-at-home mom who just wants naptime to happen so she can watch the next episode of Orange is the New Black for bleep's sake. We get you, Mick. We so...

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I Went to the Beach and All You Get Are These Lousy Haiku

(0) Comments | Posted May 30, 2014 | 1:09 PM

A whole week off work!
Let's just bring phones and iPads
and the one laptop.

Come to Jesus time:
Where is my Miraclesuit?
Dear God, let it fit.

Race to the beach house
to stake claims for the best rooms
against our loved ones.

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Word to the Mothers: Mother's Day in Haiku

(0) Comments | Posted April 29, 2014 | 3:34 PM

Ready or not, here comes Mother's Day 2014. Dads, have you developed a battle plan? Moms, are you in the right mindset to relax and enjoy your special day? Not quite yet? Don't worry. I'm here to help you prepare with a play-by-play from start to finish -- in haiku.

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Haiku Your Hearts Out, Boy Moms

(0) Comments | Posted April 21, 2014 | 9:41 AM

You remember haiku. A three-line poem with 17 syllables: Five, then seven, then five. Haiku is just ideal for moms because when you only have 17 syllables, you tend to get right to the heart of the matter -- like how quickly your boy is becoming a man.

You can probably also count to 17 syllables faster than a teenage boy can polish off your Milanos. Probably.

My son's growing hand
nearly the same size as mine
escaping my grasp.

Cleaning the boys' bath
considering the merits
of Don't Ask Don't Tell.

Son, come sit by me.
Talk to me for a minute.
Without the earbuds.

Demand remains high
but the supply is dwindling.
"Hugs will cost you, Mom."

Minute to minute
shape-shifting before our eyes:
boy to man to boy.

When at the movies
ask your son "Is this a date?"
to get the armrest.

First time in a tie
because a girl told him to
(not including me).

PSA for moms:
Do not wink at your teen son
in a crowd of dudes.

The seedling planted
when our boy was a toddler,
now too tall to prune.

Up late studying
he wanders out, bleary-eyed.
"You can tuck me in."

Turning out the light
telling him that I love him
with his baby name.

My arms circled him
from the minute he was born.
Now, his circle...

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You're Almost Middle-Aged! Questions About Your Changing Body

(3) Comments | Posted March 31, 2014 | 12:36 PM

What is middle age?

Middle age is the time when your body changes and becomes more like a Golden Girl.

When does middle age start?

It is normal for changes to start as early as 35 or as late as 60 if you are a sexy vampire. Middle age starts...

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