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A Dolphin Tried To Kill Nick Young... Good!

02/16/2015 09:21 am ET | Updated Apr 15, 2015

Recently LA Lakers player Nick Young and his girlfriend, popular Aussie rapper Iggy Azalea went on vacation to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. While in Cabo, Nick and Iggy decided to go swim with dolphins. So they went to a resort that offered a supervised dolphin swim, for a fee. What could go wrong? According to Young, when it was his turn to swim with the dolphin, the dolphin took him straight to the bottom of the pool and tried to drown him. Apparently, the dolphin has been following the Lakers this season. (POW!)

But seriously, Young spoke at some length in the Laker's locker room about the incident, and he's convinced the dolphin was trying to kill him. Young says that when he realized what the dolphin was doing, he was able to get free and he returned safely to dry land. Young says his theory on why the dolphin snapped, was because the dolphin had a crush on Iggy Azalea. "He wanted my woman," Young said.

This is all rather silly and amusing on the surface; a young hoops star and his hip hop gal pal have a run in with a frisky sea mammal. But, if you've seen the documentary films The Cove (2009) or Blackfish (2013), you will know that dolphins in the wild, swim forty miles a day and enjoy a freedom beyond human comprehension. Whereas, dolphins held captive in tiny tanks, quickly become abjectly miserable. Even to the point of killing themselves. And one can only imagine the kind of life that a captive dolphin leads in a resort in Mexico.

Experts believe that dolphins may be as intelligent, or more intelligent than humans. They have complex language and culture. To capture a dolphin and force it to do tricks for stupid rich people is a crime. Sadly, places like Sea World have created a market for dolphins as a tourist attraction. Meanwhile, it has become hip to swim with dolphins. To have a profound trans-species bonding moment. The only problem is, the dolphins don't have a choice in the matter. They are forced to do it. It's not like dolphins are swimming around in the sea, saying to each other, "You know, Frank, if just once in my life I could be strapped to a chunky divorcee from Cleveland, and swim circles in a pool, my life would be complete."

Perhaps that is why the dolphin tried to drown Nick Young. Maybe he was just sick of the whole charade. Sick of swimming around in a pool with loud, stupid people, who stink of rum and too much cologne. Maybe the dolphin hoped that if he killed a tourist, his captors would set him free. Or, more likely, the dolphin knew that if he killed a tourist, he too would be put to sleep, like the other dolphins who have misbehaved.

It would also be a safe bet that if dolphins in resorts in Mexico and other tropical locals are killing people, the resorts damn sure aren't keeping statistics on it. Bad for business. Kind of like ski resorts don't mention how many people die on the slopes every year.

Bottom line, dolphins should not be held captive by humans, anywhere ever. Slavery is wrong for people and animals.