THE BLOG

Political Comebacks From Hell

04/22/2013 05:41 pm ET | Updated Jun 22, 2013

Politics is a fickle game; one minute you are riding high, and the next minute, you are John Edwards. But it is also a game of tremendous comebacks, like Richard Nixon and Marion "Bitch Set Me Up" Barry. So when an Anthony Weiner or a Mark Sanford looks like they want to run for office, after falling in flames, we ask, "What are they thinking?" to which the answer is, they are thinking Rocky, they are thinking Cinderella story, baby!

Lets start with Anthony Weiner. The disgraced New York Congressman, who accidentally tweeted a photo of his "latest poll," shall we say, to all of his many Twitter followers, and not just the 21 year old female college student, to whom it was intended; well, lately Weiner has been sounding a lot like he may run for mayor of New York. Weiner was, in fact, a very promising prospect for mayor of Gotham before he experienced the worst political ending since Gaddafi. Since then, Weiner has been licking his wounds and ingesting a steady diet of bitching from his wife, former Hillary Clinton aide, Huma.

Weiner said he felt like it is "Now or never." And he may be right. If he dusts himself off and gets back into the game now, sure he'll have to endure wicked taunts from debate opponents and the press, but if he can withstand it, even if he loses this time around, if he can show some class and humility, he may actually have a future in politics.

At the moment, Weiner is polling (ahem) at 15%, behind City Council Speaker Christine Quinn, who is at 28%.

Prediction: Weiner will have a future in politics, if somewhat diminished from what he could have been. But he must keep it zipped, from now on.

On to Mark Sanford, the South Carolina governor, who made headlines a couple of years ago when he went to Argentina to see his mistress, after telling his staff (oh boy) and his wife, that he was hiking the Appalachian trail. Thus leading guys ever since, to say things like "Man, look at the legs on her! Bet she could really hike the Appalachian trail!"

Well, fast forward to today, Sanford, now divorced -- go figure -- with his South American lady friend in tow, is running for congress, in his Charleston area district. To complicate things, Sanford is running against the sister of late night comedian Stephen Colbert, Elizabeth Colbert Busch. And his ex-wife Jenny, recently accused him of violating their divorce agreement by showing up uninvited at her house. In his own defense, Sanford says he went to the house when Jenny was out of town, to watch the Super Bowl with their 14 year old son. And of course, forcing a 14 year old boy to watch the Super Bowl without his daddy, is a hanging offense in all Southern states.

Also working against Sanford was the blizzard of douchey statements he made in the aftermath of his affair being made public. At one press conference, of which their were many, Sanford said that his Argentine mistress was his soul mate, but, he wanted to give it one more try with the ol' wife. Wow, does he know how to piss a woman off! So now they are divorced and Jenny Sanford wrote a tell all book, which may as well have been titled, Mark Sanford Is A Lying Cheating Bastard.

Also the Republican Party has pulled its support from Sanford. Aside from that, the Sanford for congress campaign is a virtual juggernaut.

Prediction: Sanford may want to try a go at Argentine politics. After South Carolina, South American politics will seem refreshingly genteel.

And then, there was Jeb. And nobody has gotten an undeserved genetic hose job, from their brother like Jeb, since the Booth brothers had to deal with the fallout from John Wilkes "little stunt!" The eight year debacle that was the Bush Presidency is to Jeb, what Mary Jo Kopechne was to Ted Kennedy's presidential hopes. Deal breaker. And it's pretty obvious Jeb knows that, as he recently quipped, when an interviewer asked about his painting, he said many people are "surprised I can even read."

It's a shame. When one hears Jeb Bush speak, he is clearly bright, thoughtful, engaged, well informed; basically, everything George W. is not. But, them's the breaks. All it takes is one brother to destroy the economy and start two wars he couldn't finish pay for, and you are branded for life.

Prediction: Jeb will run in 2016, and everyone, Democrat and Republican, will mention how smart and charming he is, and then, he will lose badly in the primaries.

The great thing about politics is, anything is possible. Who expected a black president from Hawaii. And there are the Bill Clintons of the world, who laugh off a sex scandal, before breakfast. Lets not forget that it was the Gennifer Flowers affair that made Clinton get hot in the primaries. Mayor Weiner may not be that far fetched.