The End of Days Survival Guide

05/31/2011 10:00 am ET | Updated Jul 31, 2011

Nothing lasts forever. Since the formation of societies,

none of them have lasted the test of time.

Romans, Egyptians, Sumerians, Greeks, and Aztecs all had
vast empires that saw triumphant rises and thunderous
falls. Modern civilizations are soft in comparison to our
technologically advanced predecessors, and the average
American wouldn't last a week in a true survival setting
because of modern-day amenities that prevent them from
thinking for themselves.

Inherent in humans' higher brain function are greed
and competition, and since the death of nomadic living
and the birth of society, humans have always wanted more
things and kill each other to get them. The onset of technological
advances has set in motion the striving for bigger,
better, and easier with no turning back. Much like a
virus, humans have taken over the earth, causing planetary
illness for centuries, and the peak is upon us in this bell
curve. Nature's immune system has developed antibodies
and is getting ready to eradicate our species. Big box stores
with thousands of useless, poorly made electronics, chain
restaurants with the same slop in every US city, and corporate
coffee houses that serve disgusting sludge to antisocial
text-messagers who enjoy free wireless Internet will all
become nothing more than a distant memory. Super-ultra-
mega-one-stop-shop stores that supply benches in every
aisle for overweight and elderly customers will soon have
vines growing on and around them and will support hundreds
of species of animals and insects. High-fructose corn
syrup; artificially flavored and colored gelatinous fruit
snacks; and mass-produced chocolate pastries with crème
filling, a thirty-year shelf life, and a list of ingredients you
cannot even pronounce will no longer pour out of factories
for people to consume ignorantly while wondering why
they are gaining weight exponentially.

This information age, which has slowly eroded our
brains and depleted our social manners, will come to a
screeching standstill. Text messaging and e-mails will no
longer exist, forcing millions of people to unplug from the
machine, leave the basement, and actually communicate
with other real humans. People are becoming increasingly
disconnected from each other and a sense of community.
E-mail has replaced handwritten letters, and texting has

replaced phone calls, making humans more comfortable
than ever with communication because there is no real
face-to-face, just a cyber world that you can turn off when
you feel the urge to wet yourself.

As the global economy takes a swirling nosedive into
the porcelain bowl, humans are becoming less connected
to the source and to each other. Universal forces, commonly
referred to as God, are the source of all creation and
have been misunderstood and mismanaged for centuries.
Much as physics teaches us that energy in is equivalent to
energy out, which means our realities are created by our
thoughts and emotions, if a bird is flying in the sky and you
actively hope it doesn't crap on your head, you are inviting
the universe to create it. All of the collective negativity
causes a vicious cycle on the planet until it surfaces like a
pimple waiting to pop.

Prophets of doom have been around since the first
Neanderthal etched on a cave wall an image of his clan
getting mauled by saber-toothed cats. Throughout history,
every society has had a reclusive shaman wearing a grass
skirt and peacock-feathered hat, predicting a fire-and brimstone
apocalypse. Sumerians, Egyptians, Mayans, and
even the Vikings all had versions of an end of days. Not to
be outdone by his extinct predecessors, the famous reclusive
gypsy Nostradamus put on his triangle hat and
indulged in an opium- and absinthe-fueled bender, only to
come up with the year 1999 for his end of days. His predictions
often end up getting stretched and overinterpreted
to make them fit a particular occurrence, thus
causing belief and fear in his prognostications. Currently,
everyone with a computer, telescope, and no social life is
attempting to predict exactly what the end of days will look
like. I have no triangle hat, grass skirt, or gypsy heritage,
but I can tell you Earth is sick of our shit and is getting
ready to flush us.

Excerpt from
The End of Days Survival Guide by Philip Mackey, available early June on