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The Iranian Rubber Boat Menace

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Some folks are downplaying the Persian Gulf confrontation--saying we shouldn't be afraid when our warships rule the seas. But it's naïve and unpatriotic not to see those rubber boats as a serious threat to national security. The sooner we take action against them, the sooner we'll be ably to sleep in our beds at night, without having to make sure some guy with a turban and a beard isn't hiding under them.

Rubber boats may not look like much, but there are a lot of them, and they're cheap to make. Sure, we've got nukes, but you use a nuke on every rubber boat and you've got a real mess on your hands.

And because they're small, they're hard to detect with radar and satellites. They can sneak around at night and do a lot of damage when no one's looking. You get a whole flotilla of them banging against one side of a warship at night, in perfect synchronization--well, it might not tip the ship over, but it could rock it a lot, causing personnel on the bridge to fall overboard, leading to the loss of American lives. A lot of their lives would probably be lost, too, but American lives are worth more.

What's more, those boats are light as a feather. You could put a whole bunch of them in a plane and fly them across the Atlantic, drop them into Chesapeake Bay and they could sneak up the Potomac at night and we could wake up the next morning and find we had an Ayatollah in the White House.

Remember, not to be fearful all the time is anti-American.