Let me preface everything I am about to throw up (no pun intended) with an expression of deep gratitude. I am beyond grateful to be pregnant after working so hard to get to this point. I am so excited to meet our little one in the coming months but the joy has been somewhat dampened due to morning sickness which is a misnomer because it's been an all day / all night affliction for me.
At first, I was elated to be slightly nausea. It made the idea of being pregnant a reality. Feeling all the sickly sensations solidified that I had a little miracle growing inside of me. I was just like every other pregnant woman in her first trimester. It was my initiation into the club.
That idea did not last very long. The nausea has evolved into migraines, heartburn, and pure exhaustion. My first trimester is nearly over and this has been going on day after day for the last 8 weeks. Yes, it has been a living nightmare. I have no desire to talk to anyone on the phone or in person be it my mother, my husband, or my best friend. Speaking has become quite a chore. I am almost sure my stomach will jump right out of my mouth anytime I utter a word. Let's just say the most significant relationship I have now is the one between my couch and me. I can't leave it, I don't want to leave it, and I can feel safe knowing that the couch is always there for me. I have transformed into a sourpuss.
I'm through with any suggestions anyone may have at this point. I consulted with doctors, doulas, midwives, yoga teachers, other mommies to be, and healers. I've heard it all...
•Moving around more
None of it has worked for me.
Most of all, I am done with the good opinions of others: "It's a good sign that you are so sick." "The baby must be really healthy or really hairy." "You're definitely having a girl if you are so sick."
As I sit here writing this, I feel a little lighter and I realize that it's all about acceptance. I am not sure how and when these symptoms will end. I do know that I wanted to be pregnant and undertake this offering from the universe. Perhaps I can tolerate this unpleasant but temporary situation just a bit longer. After all, I am carrying a sweet little soul, a miracle that has been the answer to our prayers. I'm putting the time in for a precious little gift we will get to embrace and call our own. I get to walk through (OK, sometimes crawl through) each day with the purpose of expanding my happy, loving, family. That thought brings me a great sense of relief. I feel better already
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