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The School Bullying Checklist: 7 Signs Your Child May Be A Victim

Posted: 03/ 8/11 10:12 PM ET

7 Signs That Your Child May Be A Victim Of Bullying At School

School bullying continues to be on the rise and is happening at earlier ages. In a recent survey, at least seven out of 10 students claim that they have been bullied at least once at school, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. And more than half of all bullying incidents -- mental, verbal or physical -- go unreported.

As a parent, how do you know if your child is a victim of bullying? There are some definite warning signs to watch for. The following are seven potential indicators of being bullied:

1. A drastic drop in grades: In many instances of bullying, the victim constantly feels fearful, apprehensive or even terrorized. He or she is more focused on when the next bullying will occur, rather than on the information being presented by the teacher. Class work and tests begin to suffer due to this lack of concentration.

2. Being mean to younger siblings: Because of being bullied, many elementary students will take out their frustrations on younger siblings. You might begin to notice threats, destroying a sibling's toy or a drawing, or shoving.

3. Claims to be sick: If your child asks to stay home from school frequently, but doesn't appear to be sick, he might be being bullied. If his attitude toward school is negative or he insists that you pick him up rather than riding the bus, investigate the situation.

4. Unexplained bruises or injuries: Although all kids will experience bumps and bruises from time to time, if you begin to notice such injuries and your child won't tell you how they happened, this could be a sign of bullying.

5. Asking to bring his lunch: Many bullying incidences occur at lunch time. If your child no longer wants to buy his lunch or is demanding a certain type of sandwich or chips, he might be being forced to hand over his lunch or money to a bully.

6. Sudden mood changes: When being a victim of bullying, a child is under a lot of emotional and mental stress. He just wants to make it through the day and arrive back home. Once home however, as a way of releasing the stress, his emotions are like a wild roller coaster ride. You don't know what's coming with the next turn.

7. Change in sleeping or eating habits: The trauma of being bullied can cause a child to lose his appetite or to begin binge eating. He may experience sleepless nights and suffer from nightmares.

What should you do if you recognize some of these signs in your child? You should first determine if your child is a victim of bullying. A good place to start is the National Crime Prevention Council's website on bullying, which reminds parents, above all, to take the issue seriously.

 

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7 Signs That Your Child May Be A Victim Of Bullying At School School bullying continues to be on the rise and is happening at earlier ages. In a recent survey, at least seven out of 10 students claim...
7 Signs That Your Child May Be A Victim Of Bullying At School School bullying continues to be on the rise and is happening at earlier ages. In a recent survey, at least seven out of 10 students claim...
 
 
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05:47 PM on 04/04/2011
Best way to protect students.
11:18 PM on 03/12/2011
This was many decades ago, but I was bullied mentally and physically from the second through twelfth grades. Usually at least once a day, often many times per day, and sometimes even pretty constantly throughout the entire day. Getting worse as the years wore on. I was not bullied by one person or even a small group. Instead I was bullied in one form or another - taunting, playing mean tricks, pushing, shoving, tripping - by what seemed like half of the people who knew me, boys and girls. The other half looked the other way hoping to avoid similar treatment. It was truly maddening.

However, I did not exhibit ANY of the seven signs listed here. The closest I came to any of them was a shorter temper with my siblings when they were intentionally bothering me.

What I did instead was to withdraw within myself. At school, I would stare at a spot on the wall in an attempt to block out the almost continuous taunting. At home, I would read and do science stuff. I spent a lot of time out in the woods alone or with my brother. But the most obvious thing I did was to complain often that, "Nobody likes me." To which, no adults - not even my parents - listened. When I did fight back, I got in as much trouble as the bully de jour.

Listen to kids. When they say they are being picked on, they mean it.
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Tulka2
Solidarity. Courage. Humor.
09:37 PM on 03/11/2011
What to do about the bullies might be the ultimate societal question. What is Muammar Gaddafi but a bully?  What is war but state sponsored bullying?  What is rape?  You get my point.  

What to do about the bullies?  Is it genetic?  I don't think so.  I am in the Alyce Miller camp.  One generation of carefully brought up children would change the world profoundly.
04:00 PM on 03/10/2011
I am a retired teacher, now writing realistic fiction for grades 3-6. My daughters were bullied for years. My book series Revenge of the Dorkoids features anti-bullying behaviors. I liked this article about signs to look for, it is very useful. I am so glad we are finally seeing that bullying should not be accepted as part of growing up. Do you have any signs to look for to catch on that your child is doing the bullying?
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Piyush Mangukiya
09:56 PM on 03/10/2011
yup, "signs that a child is doing the bullying" would be a really good topic to explore!
01:43 AM on 03/12/2011
It just occured to me as I read your reply to run a search on signs of being a bully. Found one. Here is the link to article What are the signs that your child may be a bully?

http://www.mychildsafety.net/signs-your-child-may-be-a-bully.html
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onwisconsin
Trust women; protect choice.
09:36 PM on 03/11/2011
Go to apa.org and search for bullying. There's a great tutorial for teachers on there and it has exactly what you are looking for.
I teach antibullying workshops too and it's one of my favorite tools for teachers.
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06:56 AM on 03/10/2011
bullying even happens at the beach...my neighbor who rents verbally abuses me and my family when we are playing on the communal yard.
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sydneymoon
Dismiss what insults your own soul
07:19 AM on 03/10/2011
Good grief. Ask him what part of communal yard does he not get?
01:54 AM on 03/10/2011
The earlier children are taught to fight back against a bully, the better.  If your kindergartner is educated about the potential for encountering a bully, and prepared with an appropriate response, the bully will move on to a weaker victim.  The problem is that in elementary school, we stupidly tell children not to fight back, but to tell the teachers, which gets nothing done.  The bullies are seldom challenged, and disciplined even less, so they are emboldened as they get away with tormenting others and as they start to enjoy the feeling of power.  My kids are under orders to fight back, under penalty of incurring my wrath if I ever hear of them allowing someone to make them into punching bags. 
 
Oh, and they have been in karate for years, because its the only way they are going to learn the discipline not to hit first and the judgment of when and how to hit back wihtout doing permanent damage to someone.  We are 1-0, having gotten the best of 2 older kids, 2 grades ahead, who tried to shove around a group of youngsters, including my son.  The karate came naturally and the older kids were stunned and embarassed.  Funny, how word gets around a playground.  Now he and all his friends are left alone.  
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10:33 PM on 03/09/2011
it still brings shivers down my spine when i hear of bullying, i could actually look after myself , so the bullies would attack me in groups of three or more, it happen right through primary and secondary school as i went through the system with the same guys. I used to walk home rather than take the bus and it was easily 6-7 miles - i used to stay up all night on a regular basis - and worked out that, that was the only time i felt safe...it wasnt till i reached 30 that i was able to settle down and not try and destruct myself and it took a hell of a lot of work to put it behind me - funnily enough you would never know as i dont show fear nor do i run from it - i spent 12 mths in Nigeria 4 years ago on my own running a company there and i learnt one other valuable lesson..when in doubt act crazy lol...and no one will think twice about trying anything (ive had AK47's put under my chin , ive nearly been necklaced - ive even outwitted very dangerous and sophisticated scammers who would have killed me in a second)
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Jon Mendoza
12:26 AM on 03/10/2011
"When in doubt, act crazy" seemed to work for Charlie Sheen. When he writes (or dictates) a book, I'm gonna read it.
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LawrenceRoth
Real Liberal. Real American.
07:00 PM on 03/09/2011
A topic about bullies in the work place would be of interest also. It seems bullying exist almost everywhere. I once worked for a man who was a sexist and occasionally bullied the female workers verbally by making insults against their work ethic and intelligence. Then one day he bullied a lady (a new employee) who politely told him, "You will not talk to me that way, and you will not call me names." He didn't like it, but he left her alone after that.
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colred
08:14 PM on 03/09/2011
Good point. That would be good.
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01:46 PM on 03/10/2011
"A topic about bullies in the work place would be of interest also."

Hello, Here is a web site you may find helpful. If you find it interesting or helpful, please pass it on;
http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/amibeing.htm
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Topaz4608
05:46 PM on 03/09/2011
When my son was in kindergarten, he was being tormented my another kindergartner. Being a product of bullying myself (from age 10-14 in school) I was terrified. I asked his teachers what I could do to help my son. They said to get him in a karate class. So I did. The boy was a natural, he performed beautifully, and thrived in the class for a year. Then he stopped wanting to go. He was no longer being tormented in school, so I allowed him to drop the class. Later, he had a problem----one of his friends turned on him in middle school. I took my son into the principle's office and we all talked. The other boy was suspended for 2 days for attacking my son.

Parents----Be proactive if you know your child is being bullied. And PLEASE don't turn a blind eye if your child displays signs of being a bully. In either case, be willing to help your kid.

Although, I really think that child bullies have parent bullies. They learn that it's okay at home.
05:27 PM on 03/09/2011
# 1 2 and 5 are ridiculous! Who made this list? At least make the order relevant. For instance, a drastic drop in grades would more likely mean drugs or some kind of other occupation is keeping him busy rather than his school work.

It should go # 3, 4, 7, 6, and then #2 would make it to number 5 in my list and the description should include that it's a sudden unreasonable increase in sibling conflict. Siblings fight all the time.
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Ldcook
Gay Harvard Grad
06:34 PM on 03/09/2011
You really think drug use is more likely than a child getting bullied at school?
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06:36 PM on 03/09/2011
I agree. I noticed that too. Good eyes.
04:58 PM on 03/09/2011
From the time I was six until my early teens, I was bullied by an older kid, a policeman's son, who would lay in wait for me on my way home from school and then give chase, beating me and tossing my school things into the street if he caught me. He lived around the corner and our rear yards were connected, so he’d also throw things at me whenever I ventured into our yard. Complaints to his parents resulted in more beatings the next time he caught me.

While I’d love to be able to write that the beatings stopped when I confronted him and fought back, truth is that what I got for fighting back was a series of sound thrashings, and as far as I can tell it stopped because he eventually just got bored with the whole thing.

But here’s the rub; my bully was himself bullied. He had four older sisters, two of them veritable amazons, who would beat and tease him unmercifully. One of their favorite tactics was to lock him out of the house when he had to use the toilet. He’d beg and plead to be let in, and you could hear him sobbing all over the neighborhood. They’d leave him out there till he soiled himself.

So in retrospect I can see why he’d come after me; I was just the bottom of the pecking order. It doesn’t make it right, but I understand why.
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Piyush Mangukiya
05:59 PM on 03/09/2011
I think your personal experience just reinforces point #2 in this article. But as you said it still doesn't make bullying right :(
04:57 PM on 03/09/2011
Torn shirts, thats what clued my mother in on my being bullied. But I stood up and fought back, thus the torn shirts. I'm not sure that fighting back works these days, what with guns and web bullying going on. I would say read Machiavelli, he talked alot about what to do during times of conflict and intrigue, how to align yourself with powerful lords.
04:52 PM on 03/09/2011
Most of the bully's I remember, never stayed around that long. They were bounced from school to school. They made trouble and then they moved. I figured troubles at home are why they were taking it out on everyone else.
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04:35 PM on 03/09/2011
American children are a nasty bunch, either bullies or bulling victims. At least that conclusion could be drawn by the tenor of the posts. But here's the solution for the modern age: Until you file a complaint with the cops on the bully nothing will change. The minute you file a police complaint, the teacher of the bully, the principle of the school, the school superintendent of the principle, the parents of the bully, and the bully all finally wake up and profusely apologize to the parents of the victim saying they had no idea it was such a problem. Oh really, even after I told you 3 times there was a problem and so did ten other students and parents. It's a problem teachers and principles want to close their eyes to because it's so widespread, like drugs in Jr. High. What, drugs, here? What, bullying, here? No! I'm telling you from experience, you must protect your children's civil rights by using police enforecement. Assault and batteries must be reported to the police because schools are unable and unwilling to control bullying. Otherwise, we are all victims, or vigilantism will grow.
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Shaun Hensley
The American Experiment has failed
05:06 PM on 03/09/2011
I never thought of that. But then again, I'm sure nothing would have come of it.
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05:15 PM on 03/09/2011
Nothing come of what?
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dn sf
05:32 PM on 03/09/2011
I suspect that this isn't just a Nasty American kid thing.