THE BLOG
02/08/2013 12:08 pm ET Updated Apr 10, 2013

Forgiveness Is Choosing to Love

"Forgiveness is choosing to love. It is the first skill of self-giving love." -- Mahatma Gandhi

Do you find it easy to forgive people who have hurt or abused you in some way? I didn't until I started to understand that I was hurting myself more by maintaining a tight knot of resentment and anger toward the people who had wronged me. As I learned to love myself, and make loving myself more important than hating the other person, a profound shift happened within me. I felt more loving not only toward myself, but toward everyone and all situations in my life.

This shift in perspective produced a feeling state of relaxation, ease, and trust that all was right with my world, that I was divinely taken care of, that I was ok. I gained in self-confidence, courage and compassion. (Forgiving your abuser does not make what they did okay, nor does it mean that you have to spend time with them. If they are truly remorseful, then perhaps you can patch things up. If they are not, continue on your way.)

This feeling state of choosing to love, rather than being resentful, takes you to a higher vibrational level of the law of attraction to attract good things to you. It's a win-win for you. As regards the other person, that is not your business.

Mind Your Own Vibration

Your business is to mind your own vibrational level and keep it high with love, happiness and joy. This takes focus, energy and attention, and reaps rich rewards. When you take focus off the other person and keep it on yourself, you don't get sucked into the vibration-lowering energy of blame, resentment and anger. Being unforgiving keeps you at the lower vibrational level of your abuser. Forgiving is a choice that raises your vibrational level as high as you want. You move from victim to mastery of your life. How wonderful is that?

Watch the Ego

Here we have to be vigilant because the ego likes to be right. It wants to take revenge, get even, hurt back. Now, here's where you have to be careful. It's highly likely, almost certain, that you are right: That person should not have hurt you. However, getting revenge does not serve you. Know that the abuser is creating their own negative vibration and activating Newton's third law of motion, which states that every action creates an equal and opposite reaction -- sometimes known as the law of cause-and-effect, sometimes known as karma, or "what goes around comes around." We must choose, therefore, between being right and being happy. And, believe me, being happy is the best choice!

Feel Love Expanding

As you continue to put your energy, attention and focus on being happy, a miracle occurs. Love grows and expands, filling up your inner well and then overflowing for others to share and enjoy.

Experience Gratitude Arising

A further gift we receive is experiencing the ease with which gratitude arises. Being thankful for all our experiences magnifies our happiness. Gratitude lifts us into a realm of possibility where dreams really can come true. It helps us access a place where trust, creativity and imagination reside.

As you live joyfully and contentedly, regardless of the situation, regardless of what you have or don't have, you discover that joy is not dependent on anything or anyone. It arises from within you. It is already there, you already have what you seek.

Meditation: Choose Love

Benefits:
When you choose love over a negative reaction, you bring yourself to a higher vibrational level of joy, peace and happiness. You therefore attract more love. Your life becomes easier, more fulfilling, and purposeful.

Love is truth. Whenever you speak your truth, love is there. Love for yourself, that is, because the other person might not agree with or like what you say. Love, however, has a depth and a resonance that will keep you in alignment with your true self and serve you. You might not understand how right away, but in time all things become clear.

Always choose love. Bring love to the situation, even if you are the only one doing so.

For Pragito's latest book, Laughter, Tears, Silence, guided meditation CDs, and to join her Laughing Buddhas Network community (it's FREE!) check in at her website www.discovermeditation.com

For more by Pragito Dove, click here.

For more on forgiveness, click here.

Subscribe to the Lifestyle email.
Life hacks and juicy stories to get you through the week.