THE BLOG
06/26/2013 05:59 pm ET Updated Feb 02, 2016

Now We Are Stealing American Spouses Too

As if being accused of stealing American jobs was not enough, today I was offered a full-time, unpaid offer to marry my wonderful, beautiful, sweet U.S. citizen partner.

This was inspired, in part, by the decision of the Supreme Court to strike down DOMA as unconstitutional, but also because the Obama administration has been questionably denying me a green card through my lawful permanent resident parents and trying to deport me for the past three years.

It was written. Since I am in California and my partner is in Washington, D.C. right now, it came out of left field on Google Hangout. Then, I missed call a call from her. Excited about the DOMA decision, I asked on Facebook whether someone would marry an undocuqueer, and she said "ME!" Several times, might I add.

Well, the status message doesn't count as a offer, but an invitation to make offers, so her acceptance was not valid. I took a break from furious tweeting and saw her proposal on my iPad via the Talktone app! And I finally replied via Gchat "Yes." But wait, then she recanted. "Real proposals should be in person." Too late, I said, "I love you, and I already accepted."

And then since it was on Facebook and Twitter, it must be true! Thanks, social media.

We told our parents. Our friends and family members are happier than us.

Now the trolls can say "they come here to steal our jobs and our wives...."

In all seriousness, marriage equality is the floor. I would ideally want to see the day that assimilating to the white, heterosexual paradigm is not the arbiter for rights and freedoms. I am very deeply, personally, anti-marriage as a way of granting people civil rights. We both are, which is why all of this is weird, and new territory. Ideally, we wouldn't need to be married in order to live together and in order for me to adjust status to a green card holder.

Alas, we live in an imperfect world in imperfect times, and my desire to be free to go home overrides everything else.

The Supreme Court's decision to strike down Section 3 of DOMA as unconstitutional comes as a boon for so many same-sex, bi-national couples similarly situated, who have been separated and borne the brunt of discriminatory immigration laws for far too long. Now, as soon as U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services gives word, and without needing any sort of regulations, any bona-fide marriage performed in a place that recognizes same-sex marriage should qualify a foreign-born spouse of a U.S. citizen for a green card. Undocumented persons who entered and stayed in the U.S. without inspection would still need hardship waivers to get a green card through marriage to a U.S. citizen.

For same-sex couples looking for practical help, I would suggest perusing the guide put out by Immigration Equality today

And tomorrow at the American Immigration Lawyers Conference (AILA), I will corner USCIS Director, Alejandro Mayorkas, and extract a promise that he start stamping green cards for same-sex bi-national couples starting yesterday.

Onwards.

Subscribe to the Queer Voices email.
Get all of the queer news that matters to you.