THE BLOG

How Do You Know When He or She Is The One?

02/13/2015 03:46 pm ET | Updated Apr 15, 2015

How do you know when someone is right for you?: originally appeared on Quora: The best answer to any question. Ask a question, get a great answer. Learn from experts and access insider knowledge. You can follow Quora on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+.

2015-02-13-jordangray

Answer by Jordan Gray, #1 Amazon best-selling author, relationship coach

Here are five ways to help you figure out if they are the right one for you.

1. It's Easy

I have interviewed numerous couples that have been married for anywhere from 20 to 60 years, and they have all had one common denominator... it was easy.

They didn't have multiple breakups, or plate-throwing fights, or countless instances of infidelity to muddle through.

They met. They liked each other. They started dating. It was easy. They got married. Then they stayed married because they liked each other.

There were no major road bumps that caused them to doubt why they were trying to force the relationship to work.

In the right relationship, you'll realize that it takes effort, but it doesn't take work.

2. The Important Stuff Is The Same

Do your core values align with theirs?

Do you both agree on whether or not you want kids? What does an ideal night look like to each of you? How frequently do you each exercise?

If you don't know yourself and if you don't know what values are truly important to you, you might find it difficult to determine whether or not she is the right one for you. If you find yourself searching for a partner to complete you, you might need to do some searching internally first.

If the big things match up, the little things fall by the wayside.

3. Your Closest Friends Like Them

Your closest friends and family members aren't you, but they have a pretty good idea of who you are.

In fact, recent research suggests that those closest to you actually know you better than you know yourself.

So if the people who have your best interests at heart don't get along with your significant other, it could be a warning sign.

Have the patience and willingness to truly listen to your friends' opinions on your relationship.

4. It's Almost Scary How Much They Turn You On

You don't want to hide them from your friends... you want to show them off.
You don't have a passive-aggressive headache when they are in the mood... you find them so arousing that they distract you from your work.

You will want to devour your partner. You'll want to know their thoughts, their feelings, and all about their sexual preferences.

You will adore their body, their eye wrinkles, and the way they snort when they laugh their hardest.

You are attracted to their body, mind, heart, and soul.

And you'll think you didn't have a sex drive before you met them.

5. You Want To Make Their Life As Easy As Possible

People are born problem solvers, it's how we see everything. And the way you view your partner is no different.

But you don't just want to show them the simple solutions... you will want to help them live the happiest and most uncomplicated life possible.

Your jacket will be flying off your shoulders before she even hints that she is cold.

You will hear all about his day even if you are tired.

You will catch her before she falls.

If you have an unrelenting desire to help make her life as pleasurable as possible, take that hint: you really care about this one.

The right partner will inspire you to grow, to step up, to become the best you there ever was.

And you'll want to fight to keep them. Not that you'll need to.

More questions on Quora: