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What Are The TL;DR Versions Of Shakespeare Plays?

03/27/2015 12:40 pm ET | Updated May 26, 2015
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What are TL;DR versions of various Shakespeare plays?: originally appeared on Quora: The best answer to any question. Ask a question, get a great answer. Learn from experts and access insider knowledge. You can follow Quora on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+.

Answer by Joshua Engel, Director and actor, The Rude Mechanicals

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Romeo and Juliet: Young people are stupid.

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King Lear: Old people are stupid.

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Taming of the Shrew: Don't listen to your wife.

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Macbeth: REALLY don't listen to your wife.

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Antony and Cleopatra: Pretending to be dead to make your lover sorry doesn't work.

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Much Ado About Nothing: OK, sometimes it does.

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Comedy of Errors: Basically a Three's Company plot, but with twins.

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Othello: A Three's Company plot on a really, really bad day.

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Cymbeline: What if Shakespeare had grown up in a trailer park?

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Titus Andronicus: What if Shakespeare had been Quentin Tarantino?

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Pericles: Uh... has it started yet?

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Love's Labour's Lost: Wait... is that it? Is it over?

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A Midsummer Night's Dream: Kiss my a**.

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Two Gentlemen of Verona: Bros Before Hos.

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Timon of Athens: Life sucks, then you bitch about it for an hour, then you die.

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Hamlet: Life sucks, then you bitch about it for three hours, then you die.

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Richard II: Prayer, contemplation, and virtue are the keys to a long, happy... ERK! Thud.

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Henry IV, parts 1 and 2: Even a screw-up like you can grow up to be king. As long as you're the oldest son of the last king.

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Henry V: Ain't it awesome to be English?

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Henry VI, parts 1, 2, and 3: My daddy conquered France and all I got was... ERK! Thud.

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Richard III: OK, this is getting too silly. Let's just clear everything out of the monarchy and start over.

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King John: Remember the bad guy from Robin Hood? Let's make a play about him.

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All's Well That Ends Well: Remember, girls can ALSO be creepy stalkers.

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Merchant of Venice: Jews suck, except for that one really weird scene in the middle.

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Twelfth Night: That teen comedy where the girl has to show her t**s at the end to prove she's a girl, except you usually don't get to see her t**s.

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As You Like It: That other teen comedy with the girl pretending to be a guy. Still no t**s.

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Julius Caesar: The greatest playwright in the English language and the only thing you're going to remember is in Latin.

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Troilus and Cressida: It's like Troy, without the Trojan Horse or any of the other good parts.

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Measure for Measure: Sex is bad.

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Winter's Tale: If you stand really still, people will totally believe you're a statue.

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Tempest: Marrying your first love is for wimps. Marry the first man you ever see. That'll work great.

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Merry Wives of Windsor: Peter Griffin, Fred Flintstone, and Eric Cartman have been kind of funny for four hundred years.

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