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Prayer: It's Not What You Think

Posted: 02/ 2/2012 3:00 pm

Most spiritual traditions have a structured methodology through which they strive to make personal or collective contact with the Divine. This practice is commonly referred to as prayer or meditation, and while many might not agree with a particular practice or the enterprise in general, very large swaths of humanity looks upon it as valuable and purposeful.

There are two problems with the common perception of prayer. One is that if you believe that God answers prayers, then why is it that we so often fail to receive what we have requested? And if you believe that God will always do what's best for us regardless of what we choose to ask for, then what is the purpose of the petition in the first place?

In truth, the notion that focused communication with the Infinite would find its fullest expression in solicitations for "stuff" misses the point by a country mile.

In classical Judaism, though we may have expected it, there does not always appear to be a natural correlation between righteousness and Divine wish fulfillment. For instance, in the book of Genesis, three out of the four Matriarchs -- Sarah, Rebecca and Rachel -- have a very hard time conceiving children. Commenting on this, the Talmud notes that "God desires the prayers of the righteous." But why? It certainly can't be for His sake. The Jewish conception of God is of an infinite, loving, creating and sustaining force that needs nothing. The collective beseechings of all of humanity, cannot, by definition, help Him one iota -- after all, infinite plus 10 is still infinite.

The obvious alternative conclusion is that He desires these prayers not for Himself but for the one praying, and that the lack that we all experience (health issues, financial hardship, failing relationships, et al) has been presented to the supplicant simply as a vehicle to initiate the dialogue. What then, could be so important in this communication that would prompt the Almighty to send these wake-up messages and cause us to contend with so many unwanted and painful challenges?

In the Hebrew language, the word "to pray" is lehitpalel. Interestingly, it is a reflexive verb -- something that you do to yourself. The root of the word, palal, means "to judge," rendering the actual translation of prayer as something more akin to self-evaluation. Therefore, when a person stands before God to communicate, she is taking stock of her capabilities, current level of spiritual consciousness and willingness to accept reality for what it truly is. The deeper notion is that we are willfully trying to integrate the inescapable fact that we are utterly dependent on the Creator.

For instance, we can intend to get up and go to work, but there are countless external factors (which are beyond our control) that could easily conspire to thwart that intention. Our own lack, and the realization that the smartest, bravest and most capable people on Earth are essentially powerless to alter their circumstances without outside assistance, forces the one praying to grasp the greatness of the Provider and the great chasm that yawns between where (and Who) He is and what we and our capabilities really are. As the Talmud also teaches, "all is in the hands of Heaven, except the fear of Heaven." Fear in this context means a fear of loosing the connection with Heaven. It's explaining that, try as we might and though it may seem counter-intuitive, we have precisely zero control over what occurs around us. In actuality, the only thing that we can control is how we react to what is occurring to us.

This is an exceedingly valuable lesson to learn. Our illusion of control causes us untold amounts of pain and confusion. How many individuals have helplessly wondered, "Why is this happening to me?" How many people seethe in anger when spoken to in the wrong tone, or when they lose a job, or even when it rains at an inconvenient time? One who has fully integrated his or her true dependent status is humble, is emotionally unaffected by these difficulties, and grasps a firm rudder to navigate through life's unceasing vicissitudes. True joy comes from being anchored to what is certain. Unfortunately, virtually all that we experience in this short plane of our existence does not fall into that category. This is well understood -- "here today, gone tomorrow," as the saying goes -- and along with the loss, change or departure of that which we love, goes the equanimity of most people. Tefilah, the noun form of this process of self-evaluation, helps us come to terms with this reality -- and then transcend it.

This transcendence, and the pleasure that comes along with it, is commensurate with the extent to which one is able to integrate the truth of the one unchanging Force of reality that some of us choose to call God. There are myriad benefits embedded in this realization, including: peace of mind, patience, lack of the need to judge, calmness and optimism. The natural alternative is what Freud described in a letter to Marie Bonaparte: "The moment a man questions the meaning and value of life, he is sick, since objectively neither has any existence." That is how the clear-thinking individual feels when he or she fully accepts the void -- sans the God anchor. Without that rooting, life is intrinsically chaotic, unpredictable and upsetting. With it, those same challenging experiences are just hurdles to be scaled for the sake of an underlying good.

Crosby, Stills and Nash once sang that "confusion has its costs." And it does. As the Talmud understands matters, "there is no joy like the resolution of doubt." Our version of prayer is a key vehicle to promote that resolution, and the joy that follows in its wake.

 

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Most spiritual traditions have a structured methodology through which they strive to make personal or collective contact with the Divine. This practice is commonly referred to as prayer or meditation,...
Most spiritual traditions have a structured methodology through which they strive to make personal or collective contact with the Divine. This practice is commonly referred to as prayer or meditation,...
 
 
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07:22 PM on 04/01/2012
Rabbi Jacobs

It was with a smile which I recognized both; one of my own and that of which he spoke.

My wish is that you continue to find over greater and overflowing Joy in your deepest prayers.

I wonder if you have read the new Haggadah translation, I have not read it but only heard a little, but that little bit seemed almost ecstatic.

How fortunate we are to live in these most exciting of times eh?

Love
C
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DAE
02:43 PM on 03/22/2012
The problem here as with all these essays is a pervasive presumption that one can only have "peace of mind, patience, lack of the need to judge, calmness and optimism" by a belief in God, otherwise one is bound to feel that "life is intrinsically chaotic, unpredictable and upsetting." I do not believe and never has believed in this "unchanging Force of reality," yet I have "peace of mind, patience, lack of the need to judge, calmness and optimism," and I do not view life as "intrinsically chaotic, unpredictable and upsetting." So either I'm confused or more likely the Rabbi is.
08:23 AM on 03/16/2012
In Islam, we say "insha'Allah" - God willing. It may sound like it makes us powerless to recognize our powerlessness, but it is actually very empowering to "let go and let God" as the 12 steps say. Its amazing because we are the tiniest specks in this universe but we believe the world revolves around us. Prayer teaches us to let go of that illusion and once we do, every prayer is answered because we pray to the Source verses the limitation of our own egos.

Taoism is the path of being in synch with what is.

We'll never get our own way all the time. If it was like that, we would be spoiled brats (and many of us are regardless, lol).

The Serenity Prayer is all about being empowered by recognizing we are not the Almighty.

God/dess grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.

So be it

Peace be with you. Peace be with us all.
03:49 PM on 02/25/2012
Part 2
With all of my life's pain, I have neve lost faith in God, even when those that I helped betrayed me. Anyone who has not suffered like I have, has no right to be angry at God. If your parents are alive, your children and freinds are okay and you are relatively healthy, then you have nothing to seriously complain about. You are just spoiled and misformed by other lost men.
I have never asked God for anything for myself, just for the strength and ability to help others. God has never failed me in this mission. Now God has blessed me with Scaleless Dieting, my health book, where I am saving lives on a level I never imagined. This book was created through the pain and tears of my life to lessen the suffering of others. Please preview Scaleless Dieting on Amazon, get a copy for you and a loved one. You will never regret it. I pray that the purity of this message comes across and that I can continue my life's mission in service to others.
03:40 PM on 02/25/2012
I am in a highly spiritual mood and I'm ready to offer relief for those hopeless, angry or in pain. Part 1
Prayer always works, but it is only effective if you are willing to humble yourself and love and believe in God with all of your heart without questioning. Those that doubt him only do it because either they have never been taught properly or have been severely hurt by placing their hopes in men or religion, which was created by men.
I have prayed daily for as long as I can remember, still my life has had horrible downs. Parents dead, childred dead, jobs lost, relationships failed, health problems, no friends and on and on. Still in being in God's favor, I have been endlessly blessed. I have no money, but I have been able to help improve the lives of tens of thousands of people, all who I never knew.
08:32 AM on 02/22/2012
The article suggests that prayer and meditation are one and the same. For some people they may be but for others they are two very different practices. An atheist might benefit from meditation, Sam Harris claims to. Taking time out to silence the mind and observing our thoughts can be life changing with or without a belief in a deity. Getting in touch with our love and compassion seems to be important in most if not all religions and meditation practice is an excellent tool for eliminating our self centeredness through self awareness.
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Debra Martinez
Who is your God...
06:57 AM on 02/21/2012
There are two problems with the common perception of prayer. One is that if you believe that God answers prayers, then why is it that we so often fail to receive what we have requested? And if you believe that God will always do what's best for us regardless of what we choose to ask for, then what is the purpose of the petition in the first place?

Answer:1st God does not answer all prayers.. He only answer prayers in trueness Ps 145: 18,19 Phil 4:6,7
To whom should your pray?. Matthew 6:9
02:35 AM on 02/21/2012
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08:20 PM on 02/07/2012
"The collective beseechings of all of humanity, cannot, by definition, help Him one iota -- after all, infinite plus 10 is still infinite"

By describing G-d as an infinite being, we must say that not only can the beseeching of all humanity move G-d, but that even a single person must compel G-d to act and care, while at the same time not "helping" G-d at all.

This dual nature of G-d might be repugnant to some - it is foolish, and cruel, to imagine a being capable and full of infinite emotion that doesn't care and empathize when any single person cries out "Why is this happening to me?"

Following this model of a G-d who cares about every individual problem (and the entirety of creation), we must say that it is not G-d who causes cancer, famine, and war. Rather it is G-d who helps us make it through these things.

Prayer then is not meant only as a supplication, or only as a way to initiate a conversation with the Divine. Prayer allows one to take the time to recognize those Divine moments, where G-d provides us with the opportunity to control our lives and to contribute to others. G-d doesn't cause tsunamis, but there is something of G-d in the moment that compels us to donate to relief funds.
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Ohalos
Advocate for the Concealed
01:43 PM on 02/08/2012
If God does not cause tsunamis, does that mean that you believe there are events that occur that are outside of His control?
10:21 AM on 02/09/2012
There is a difference between an event being "outside of G-d's control" and between "G-d chooses not to control." It's this second option that I believe - precisely because saying that G-d has control over a tsunami is, in my mind, equivalent to G-d driving the wave into a city and personally choosing to strike down people in the tsunami's way.
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Debra Martinez
Who is your God...
06:48 AM on 02/10/2012
You are correct. Jehovah God is not causing it.. He is aware of it and is waiting for the moment has come break up this people mess and put Satan back where he belongs..
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TYRANNASAURUS
UGH!....people taste like crap!
01:28 PM on 02/07/2012
Prayer: It's Not What You Think....

Should read....Prayer it doesn't do what you think.....ever.
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Debra Martinez
Who is your God...
06:59 AM on 02/21/2012
The Bible clearly states all prayes that are not in trueness will not get answered and all prayes without faith also wont get answer...
01:34 AM on 03/02/2012
It took me forever to realize prayers aren't a credit card...
More a one on one relationship, like with anyone I truly love...
03:18 PM on 02/27/2012
The light shineth in darkness and the darkness comprehended it not.
A parent says to its childs request Yes or No same difference.
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VinZenTexaN
Without God, life is everything.
08:45 PM on 02/06/2012
Prayer - how to feel like you're contributing by doing nothing

Praying is like seating in a rocking chair it will give you something to do. But it wont take anywhere
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Michele Belin Beulah
It's all good, it's all God.
01:24 AM on 03/07/2012
Who have you prayed to?
10:03 AM on 02/06/2012
GOD.........IS NOT COMPLICATED.
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ethelmertzrules
Repetition doesn't make it true
07:44 PM on 02/06/2012
God is beyond our comprehension, otherwise it wouldn't be God.
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VinZenTexaN
Without God, life is everything.
08:45 PM on 02/06/2012
There's only 1 thing God lacks, and that's existence.
07:48 AM on 02/07/2012
I say yes and no. Because He(God) has given us His Word. ....So we will not be ignorant of Him and the devils devices.
10:01 AM on 02/06/2012
God............is not complicated. Humans make God complicated. Wanting to fill superior or important.

GOD IS NOT COMPLICATED.
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Tom Hn
American liberty with unconventional wisdom
06:37 PM on 02/06/2012
Sure he is not, it is said ignorance is a bliss...
07:45 AM on 02/07/2012
You are socorrect.
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MagicManDoneIt
When facts are lacking. Just say...
07:40 PM on 02/06/2012
I'm confused, is god complicated?
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Michele Belin Beulah
It's all good, it's all God.
01:27 AM on 03/07/2012
No peple are
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conscioushope
"There is no darkness but ignorance." Shakespeare
12:06 AM on 03/27/2012
;)
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Thumbody
just for the halibut!
10:00 AM on 02/06/2012
"Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made unto God. And the peace of God which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:6-7
07:47 AM on 02/06/2012
Prayers answered in Gods time and Gods wisdom.