There's nothing wrong with asking for help. That sentiment is at the crux of the Passover story. Escaping 400 years of bondage doesn't just happen organically.
The same should apply to leading your Passover seder.
Trust me, I know it's not easy competing for everyone's attention. Growing up, our four questions were: "Is that brisket I smell?" "What's the score of the game?" "We have to do this again tomorrow!?!" And, "Are you sure that's grape juice Little Morty is drinking?"
Plus, if this is your first time hosting, you're probably just hoping to get from beginning to end without a major incident.
However, if you're up for getting a little more out of your discussion this year, here are four rules (and tips) to help guide you through, whatever your level of observance.
Rule #1 -- The Matzah is the Message
Therefore, you have to eat it. No excuses. If you have some intolerance to matzah, find some other item of food that needs to be leavened. Bake it without letting it rise. Then eat it.
Matzah is the bread of affliction. It's supposed to be unpleasant. The dryness, the blandness, the way it sits in your stomach -- that's all part of the experience.
The seder is different from other nights because it forces us out of our comfort zones. It can provide a forum for you, and your loved ones, to digest all of the things which we consume in haste on all those other nights; be they foods, technologies or current events.
Discussion Tip: Share a personal story about a new technology that you have recently purchased and how much more seamlessly it works than the previous model.
Then eat the matzah.
Matzah is the taste of impatience.
Rule #2 -- Begin with Suffering
The word for "order" in Hebrew is "seder." Frontload the beginning of your seder with all the stuff that nobody likes: the bitter herbs, the parsley dipped in salt water, the matzah. Make people taste all of it.
Discussion tip: Pull out the April 4 cover of Newsweek, which reads:
"Tsunamis. Earthquakes. Nuclear Meltdowns. Revolutions. Economies on the Brink. What the #@%! Is Next?"
Ask that question.
Then make your guests wait before serving the meal. Go through, one by one, the selections in the user manual (the "Haggadah"). When doing so, call on people and make them read, even if they don't want to.
If you allow your guests to get too comfortable during this part, then you will be out of order.
Rule #3 -- You Do Not Talk about Moses
Moses is not mentioned at a traditional Passover seder. Look for him in your Haggadah; hopefully you won't find him there.
If you're tempted to mention his name, don't. Moses is not an explanation. It was God, with an outstretched arm and a mighty hand, who liberated the Children of Israel from bondage. Not Moses.
Discussion tip: Suggest that the events unfolding around us are real plagues and a manifestation of God's judgment.
If some guests disagree with you (or are offended) encourage their questioning. But remind them that a Passover seder is the one night when we can, in polite company, suggest that we too have been in bondage and we too have endured plagues.
Rule #4 -- Conclude by Praising God
This is the most frequently overlooked part of the Passover seder. It is also the part that comes least naturally to many of us. So I've included an anecdote to help.
Anecdote:
There used to be an elderly Rabbi by the name of Morris Shapiro -- a Holocaust survivor and a Talmudic scholar -- who tutored students in the basement of The Jewish Theological Seminary.
One afternoon, a rather blunt student asked him: "Why do it? After what you experienced? Why did you spend your life this way?"
"God, Torah and Israel," he said. "These are the three things that Judaism rests on."
"I love Toy-rah," he said looking around the seminary basement lined with Jewish texts. "And I love being with the Jewish people, the people of Israel."
He paused.
"Two out of three ain't bad."
Discussion tip: Ask those assembled if they agree with the rabbi. Invite them to disagree.
Before you conclude, be sure to take a moment to attempt -- in whatever language feels appropriate -- to give praise to a God who is capable of liberating a people.
Follow Rabbi Dan Ain on Twitter: www.twitter.com/rabbidan
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Anyone interested can reach me at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/aoc_faith/
RogCat AOC (Assembly of the Covenant)
And Moses? You mean Hapymoses, the Hyksos pharoah who ruled half of Egypt?
Yes, that Moses who returned eighty years after the regicide performed against a sitting Egyptian King to lead the last of the Hyksos and the habiru away.
Time for some honesty here, I believe. It's not all bad, at least the Hyksos introduced copper to Egypt, even if they did worship Set.
And that's another story..............................
Thank you for acknowledging it.
Now, do some research on your own.
I already have.
Do the story line in the vernacular, you can update it to make sense to the average person. Observe all the rituals properly. Blessings are best done in Hebrew. Lean the songs if you don’t already know them. Everyone likes to sing. The directions are in the book. Read it in advance.
This is a time for happy, loving family memories so drink four full cups of wine. All Israel is one family. The family was redeemed. Feel it!
Is(is) Ra El.
Three gods, three redeemers in one?
But that's another story......................
Christians, btw, are well schooled in the story of Moses and Passover, both from our Old Testament, and it's many links to Easter celebrations. It makes perfect sense to us. In fact, some of the rituals mirror the Catholic Mass, especially the consecrations of the host, which, of course, was done during the Last Supper, i.e., the first night of Passover. Most Catholics who attend their first Seder are amazed at the similarities.
or to make it even better and more elaborate, say for a party, you can a bunch of pieces of matzoh, make a giant square and drizzle layer upon layer of chocolate, white and dark and milk, and throw on some candied pineapple and cranberries and pistachio and other nuts and its amazingly delicious and looks like a jackson pollock painting! break it up into to pieces and give it to the guests in bags as they leave...
"Welcome to the Oscars...or as it's known at my house...Passover."