Several years ago I was speaking to a class of schoolchildren in Dallas. I began my talk by asking them, "If after this class, you went home and asked your mother what she thought about God, what would she say?"
A little girl in the first row leapt to her feet, waving her hand. I called on her.
"Ask your father!" she said.
Her answer reflected the insecurities of many parents in teaching about a subject they never learned about themselves. Teaching about God is a subject so large, so looming, so easy to get wrong. Parents who tell their children that you can ask them about "anything" (which, in parental lingo, usually means sex and drugs) change the subject when children ask about God. And they do ask.
"Who are God's parents? Why is there evil in the world? Does God hear my prayers?"
The questions are the questions that parents ask. Are we satisfied giving our children an intellectual but not a spiritual education?
Questions about God are among the most urgent in our developing view on life. What do we wish our children to believe -- that they are accidents of ancient chemistry or sparks of the divine? What becomes of them after death? Is there an overarching purpose to the world? Whatever one's philosophy on these matters, we owe our children an honest and searching discussion.
Children are taught they are important -- but why are they important? Ask your children why they matter. I have asked thousands of children, "Why are you important?" The usual answers are: "I get good grades"; "I am good at sports"; "I have a nice job" (or boyfriend, or girlfriend); "My parents love me." All these answers spell trouble, because are all based on something human, and everything human can change. Are we always going to be the brightest in the class, or have that boyfriend, or feel our parents' love? Do you really want your child's self-esteem to be based on your emotions? Is there no unvarying basis for self-worth?
What if we could say, "All those things are wonderful, but beyond all that, you matter because you are made in the image of God"? What if we could say, "There is an essence in you that is only yours -- your divine spark. That never changes." Not only have we given a constant basis of self-esteem -- but a non-comparative basis. If I am important because my parents love me, what does that teach me about the child whose parents do not love him, or who has no parents? But everyone is a unique, sacred spark.
Teaching children about God is a way of giving a firm footing to their spiritual life. Below are a few guidelines for initiating a conversation that can be as intimate as any between parents and children:
1) Ask. Studies show that almost all children by the age of six have some developed concept of God. Ask them. Do not allow your own preconceptions to determine the range of their curiosity -- let them think, speculate, dream, imagine. Children will grow in their understanding, but only if we do not cut off conversation by dictating the "truth" or by evading the issue.
2) Tell stories. Stories encourage children to form concepts of character. To learn about God, tell the stories of the Bible, the midrashic legends, incidents from your own life. Children are less adept at manipulating abstract concepts than they are at understanding concrete operational ideas. Along with stories, use descriptive language: Rather than "God knows everything," try to be operational: "God is the one who helps us to grow."
3) Bring God into everyday life. Tell your children that God loves them. Explain that the world is filled with the bursting wonder of God's presence. Prayer is a way of expressing connection and gratitude.
4) Do not be defensive at challenges. Thinking children -- especially once they enter into adolescence -- will challenge our religious ideas. That is a sign of thoughtfulness. When we are angry or defensive, we show our own insecurities, our unease with the religious ideas we profess. Welcome the challenge -- recognize that there are many good reasons to doubt God's existence or benevolence. Engage in a dialogue, not a diatribe.
5) Learn good answers. There are no definitive answers to difficult questions, but there are good ones. Try not to fall into the trap of giving facile answers that may satisfy a six-year-old but which will be transparently unacceptable when the child is older and more sophisticated. It is better not to be understood yet than to misrepresent the complexity of the issues. Still, in many cases hard questions can be addressed very early: "If God dwells everywhere, is he in my pocket?" The appropriate answer to this is to explain the difference between physical and non-physical objects. The wind is invisible, but physical. Love is intangible. Ask a child, "Where is love?" You cannot point to it, but you can feel it. The same is true with God.
Difficult questions about God have been discussed throughout the centuries. Not all of the answers will satisfy, but our aim is not answers but spiritual growth. Allow yourself to be open to the directions that spiritual exploration can take you. Once again, as so often, through teaching our children, we learn.
Talking to Children About God: Tips for Christians Sharing their ...
Talking to Kids About God - Newsweek
Kids Talk About God - Inspiring Children - Online Bible Lessons
"Ask a child, 'Where is love?' You cannot point to it, but you can feel it. The same is true with God."
Then don't let her read the Bible.
You cannot possibly be serious with that comment.
Billy James Hargis left the Presidency of ACC in 1974. ACC closed in 1977.
Yes, definitely. I suggest focusing on the love that Yahweh showed the firstborn children of Egypt, the love Yahweh showed to the Midianite children, the love and mercy displayed when He commanded Abram to sacrifice his child and the trauma the child endured, and the overwhelming love that Yahweh showed when He commanded that children - like yours - be killed for dishonoring their parents. It is very important that they have a clear concept of god.
My answer to small child, "God is a lot like Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy."
My answer to child age 6-8, "Remember, God is like Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. You can't see them."
My answer to child age 9+, "Remember, I told you God was like Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. There is no evidence of any of them, they are all just fairy tales."
There was a lot of silly statements about that young woman who tried to sail around the world, her parents did not restrict her horizons physically, I beseech parents not to limit their childrens horizons spiritually!
While I know it might be hard for some to step out of the religious programming they have received, if you can give your children a wide range of viewpoints and let them, over the years, choose what THEY want, you will be doing your child and society a great deal of good.
I would never LET my child or any child for that matter choose something as mind-shaping as religion/spirituality.
Let a child make a choice on how it perceives the world? Chances are it will be an uneducated guess. Children posses neither the knowledge or the experience or indeed the mental ability to make an educated choice. It is preferable much much preferable to provide your child with all the essentials tools for good and balanced choices and when the child matures then it will be fully capable to choose its spiritual path.
Indeed early Christians were catechised at the age of 30 (following Jesus's example who began his ministry at the age of 30), the reason they resorted to cradle-stage indoctrination was high infant mortality rates during the Dark Ages.
Do not perpetuate this manmade myth on another generation of potential human beings.
Peace.
"In matters of religion, it is very easy to deceive a man, and very hard to undeceive him".
Pierre Bayle 1647-1706
--
John Adams: “it seems a desperate and impracticable Project to undeceive”...
-
Alas the poor weak ignorant Dupe human Nature. There is so much King Craft, Priest Craft, Gentlemens Craft, Peoples Craft, Doctors Craft, Lawyers Craft, Merchants Craft, Tradesmens Craft, Labourers Craft and Devils Craft in the world, that it seems a desperate and impracticable Project to undeceive it”.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/chris-rodda/no-mr-beck-john-adams-did_b_608570.html
---
Like Einstein, Darwin too was against the inculcation of sacred superstitions in children.
"NOR MUST WE OVERLOOK THE PROBABILITY OF THE CONSTANT INCULCATION IN A BELIEF IN GOD ON THE MINDS OF CHILDREN PRODUCING SO STRONG AND PERHAPS AS INHERITED EFFECT ON THEIR BRAINS NOT YET FULLY DEVELOPED, THAT IT WOULD BE AS DIFFICULT FOR THEM TO THROW OFF THEIR BELIEF IN GOD, AS FOR A MONKEY TO THROW OFF ITS INSTINCTIVE FEAR AND HATRED OF A SNAKE."
Charles Darwin
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Darwin's_views_on_religion