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Rabbi Shmuley Boteach

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Homophobia Is Itself an Abomination

Posted: 10/16/10 12:45 PM ET

Who could have thought that homosexuality, of all things, would tear this country apart?

For two decades now I have watched how opposition to gay relationships has come to define American values. While fifty percent of straight couples divorce, while America sinks ever deeper into an eddy of materialism and greed, and while purpose and happiness remain so elusive that our country consumes three-quarters of the earth's anti-depressants, for our religious leaders, politicians, and the media it's still all-gays-all-the-time.

Why the obsession? People of faith insist that homosexuality is the sin because the bible calls it an abomination. Little do these ignoramuses realize that the word appears approximately 122 times in the Bible. Eating non-kosher food is an abomination (Deut.14:3). A woman returning to her first husband after being married in the interim is an abomination (Deut. 24:4). And bringing a blemished sacrifice on G-d's altar is an abomination (Deut. 17:1.). Proverbs goes so far as to label things like envy, lying, and gossip as that which 'the Lord hates and are an abomination to Him' (3:32, 16:22).

As an orthodox Rabbi who reveres the Bible I do not deny the Biblical prohibition on male same-sex relationships. Rather, I simply place it in context. There are 613 commandments in the Torah. One is to refrain from gay sex. Another is for men and women to marry and have children. So when Jewish gay couples come to me for counselling and tell me they have never been attracted to members of the opposite sex in their entire lives and are desperately alone, I tell them, "You have 611 commandments left. That should keep you busy. Now, go create a kosher home with a mezuzah scroll on the door. Turn off the TV on the Sabbath and share your challah with many guests. Pray to G-d the prescribed three times a day for you are His beloved children. He desires you and seeks you out."

Once, I said to my friend Pat Robertson, whom I have always found engaging and open in our conversations, "Why can't you simply announce to all gay men and women, 'Come to Church. Whatever relationship you're in, G-d wants you to pray. He wants you to give charity. He wants you to lead a G-dly life." He answered to the effect that homosexuality is too important to overlook. Other evangelical leaders have told me the same. Homosexuality is the single greatest threat to marriage and the family.

Really? With one out of two heterosexual marriages failing, with seventy percent of the internet dedicated to the degradation of women through pornography, and with a culture that is materially insatiable even as it is all-too spiritually content, can we straight people say with a straight face that gays are ruining our families? We've done a mighty fine job of it ourselves, thank you very much.

But the extreme homophobia that is unfortunately to be found among many of my religious brothers and sisters -- in many Arab countries being gay is basically a death sentence -- stems from an even more fundamental misunderstanding of the nature of sin. The Ten Commandments were given on two tablets to connote two different kinds of transgression, religious and moral sin. The first tablet discusses transgressions between G-d and man such as the prohibitions of idolatry, blasphemy, and desecrating the Sabbath. The second tablets contains sins between man and his fellow man, like adultery, theft, and murder.

The mistake of so many well-meaning people of faith is to believe that homosexuality is a moral rather than a religious sin. A moral sin involves injury to an innocent party. But who is being harmed when two, unattached, consenting adults are in a relationship? Rather, homosexuality is akin to the prohibition of lighting fire on the Sabbath or eating bread during Passover. There is nothing immoral about it, but it violates the divine will.

For the record, I am in favor of gay civil unions rather than marriage because I am against redefining marriage. But I hardly believe that gay marriage is the end of Western civilization. For me the real killer is the tsunami of divorce and the untold disruption to children as they become yo-yos going from house to house on weekends.

I have countless gay friends whose greatest fear, like so many straight people, is to end up alone. Should we merely throw the book at these people? Does not the same Bible also say, "It is not good for man to be alone?" And all I'm asking from my religious brethren is this: even as you oppose gay relationships because of your beliefs, please, for the love of G-d, be tortured by your opposition. Understand that when our most deeply held beliefs conflicts with our basic humanity, we should feel the tragedy of the conflict, rather than simply find convenient scapegoats upon whom to blame all of America's ills.


 
 
 

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07:38 PM on 12/04/2010
I believe there is beauty and truth in the Bible--as well as the Talmud, the Vedas and the Gitas, and the Koran. But one of the most important elements of building faith is questioning, and interpreting. Religious texts must also be placed in a historical, as well as spiritual, context.

I see a lot of comments saying that you can't "pick and choose" what you believe from the Bible, but those people are completely missing the point. It's a living document whose poetry can't and shouldn't be interpreted literally, and those who use its words to justify hateful or cruel behavior are only breaking with the fundamental essence of Jesus' message to us.

This debate over civil unions reminds me of one of the best scenes from the West Wing, when President Bartlet calls out a conservative radio host. Love the line "I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7...what would be a good price for her?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHaVUjjH3EI
04:34 AM on 11/18/2010
Good , well written blog. Thank you.
03:33 PM on 10/23/2010
"You have 611 commandments left. That should keep you busy"

Since when is it ok to pick and choose which commandments to obey? I'm Christian, so does this philosophy apply to the 10 Commandments too? If I choose to commit adultery, and murder someone, is that acceptable, as long as I abide by the remaining 8 commandments?
02:51 PM on 10/21/2010
DEFCON 1 around here.

don't rattle the gatekeepers cages (ideology)
02:51 PM on 10/20/2010
is this a gay pride thread?
04:51 PM on 10/20/2010
no its a phobic one
05:09 PM on 10/20/2010
that is the people that run this place are phobes
01:20 PM on 10/20/2010
Marriage has been "redefined" many times since its advent, hasn't it? Or as women still considered men's property? Why is redefining it for something good and deserved so hard for some to swallow?
02:21 PM on 10/20/2010
Oops "or ARE women". Sorry.
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Paul108
12:21 PM on 10/20/2010
"People of faith insist that homosexuality is the sin because the bible calls it an abomination."

EXCUSE ME. Not all "people of faith" base their faith on the Bible. The Manu Samhita, known in Vedic culture as "the lawbook for mankind" specifically mentions homosexual activity as a sin. Srimad Bhagavatam mentions the creation of homosexuals, and not in a good way either. Of course these books do not go into homosexuality in much depth because they are books meant for spiritual advancement.

Commenting on the Bhagavatam verse, Srila Prabhupada, the topmost authority on bhakti (devotional service) in modern times, stated:

"In other words, the homosexual appetite of a man for another man is demoniac and is not for any sane male in the ordinary course of life."

Are you suggesting the Vedic scriptures and the words of my spiritual master are an abomination? How much have you studied them?
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BeninOakland
Don't tell me you love me. Let me guess.
12:35 PM on 10/20/2010
Yes, they are an abomination. ask any fundamentalist chrstian. You are going to go to hell in a vedic handbasket, where you will burn forever in torment, becuase you either didn't get or refused to accept the Christian memo.

So all of you religionists disagree on the nature of god, his message to the world, and his (or their) proper worship. The one thing that the most vehement among you can agree upon is that surely, homosexuality is a sin.

So that makes it "right".

Every argument I have ever heard against ending this vicious stupid wasteful prejudice boils down to one of several propostions. 1) I hate queers. 2)My relgion tells me ot hate queers, but we'll occasionally pretend that we don't and call it love, meanwhile doing whatever to make the lives of gay people-- people whom we don';t know, know nothing about, who have done us no harm-- as difficult, dangerous, and unpleasant as possible. 3) Anything about sex scares the hell out of me. 4) I want to make sure no one knows I'm queer.

So much for the enlightenment of hinduism.

Religion is not hwat ennobles mannkind. It is what prevents us from advanciong as a species.
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LintLass
"When you can balance a tackhammer on your head...
09:28 AM on 10/20/2010
""For the record, I am in favor of gay civil unions rather than marriage because I am against redefining marriage""

Did you mind the 'redefinition' when men could no longer buy their rape victims and call it marriage?; When polygamy ended? When people began to marry for love? When men no longer had the 'God-given right' to beat their wives?
BahtHarim
בת ההרים
09:03 AM on 10/20/2010
"...there is nothing irrational about a healthy heterosexual male feeling threatened by other males who are not heterosexual."

About 15 or so years ago, a study was done in which heterosexual men who stated they did not mind homosexuals, and heterosexual men who said they did, were shown gay male porn, while instruments measured the degree of their sexual arousal. The results were that the straight men who didn't mind gays showed no arousal, while those who didn't like gays showed sexual arousal. This fits in with Freud's theory of "Latent Homosexuality", which, flawed as it is, states that those who express fear or disgust of homosexuals are themselves fighting their own subconcious homosexual desires.

So for all those gay-haters here, hiding behind the veneer of Godliness, I've got your number.
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conscioushope
"There is no darkness but ignorance." Shakespeare
10:34 AM on 10/20/2010
Baht~

It makes perfect sense to me. Homophobics are unsure of their own sexuality.

Fanned!
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BcemXAHA
אני כלום בלעדיהם
08:07 AM on 10/20/2010
Rabbi!

Your words should be spread for the entire world to hear.

Excellent!
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conscioushope
"There is no darkness but ignorance." Shakespeare
10:35 AM on 10/20/2010
Agreed, Bcem!

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06:22 PM on 10/19/2010
I want to say to everyone,
thank you for your comments,
over time, Huff & Puff has become better and better,
and I find that the exchange of ideas connects people as community, in give and take, learning and growing, that I prefer the comments more than the articles (Sorry Shmuley, no offense)
whether its one line, or draggin the line:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=784m9_bcVBE

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.".......Proverbs 27:17
02:44 PM on 10/20/2010
NO.
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Vern58
11:25 AM on 10/19/2010
Amen.
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terri autorino
03:07 AM on 10/19/2010
Rabbi, I just reread your words and feel even more enthused that they be "heard" by everyone around the world! I e-mailed Oprah right after my first reading and suggested a show with you and Mr Cohan together! Thank You, from an enlightened fan!
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terri autorino
10:59 PM on 10/18/2010
Rabbi, I am a one woman "army" encouraging EVERYONE, including bullies, to read this blog and the blog by Gary Cohan, "The Bullying Years: A Survival Guide for Gay Kids" because I know your words offer HOPE and are saving lives around the world.
06:14 PM on 10/18/2010
The rabbi's distinction between religious and moral law (based on what hurt an action could inflict) seems an important one. Transgression of one (the moral one) hurts people in ways we could argue should involve civic laws and punishments (stealing, murdering), while the other, he seems to say, should be between us and God. Sounds like true separation of church/state to me -- and a great principle to encode in a country's Constitution (and then follow!).