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Rabbi Shmuley Boteach

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LeBron James and What We Lose When We Win

Posted: 07/12/10 10:01 AM ET

The image I will remember most from the 2010 World Cup is Netherlands coach Bert van Marwijk pulling off his silver medal in disgust as soon as he left the podium. Welcome to a brave new world where winning is everything and losing a soccer match is more serious than exposing yourself as a petulant child in front of two billion people. When I was a boy I was intrigued by Archie Manning, one of the NFL's greatest quarterbacks who played for its worst team, the New Orleans Saints. Season after season good ole' Archie would be pummeled by defensive ends and Linebackers who came charging through his porous offensive line to maul him into the gridiron. Never one to complain, Manning took the beating and continued to clock up impressive stats year after year, even as his team continued to lose. Why stay with a team so awful that its fans wore brown paper bags over their heads? Why not be traded to a team that had a chance? I never found the answer to that question. But after Arching Manning retired two of his sons followed him into the NFL and became two of its greatest quarterbacks with his eldest son, Peyton, ranking as perhaps the greatest of all time. Only a father who is truly his sons' hero can inspire them to follow so fully in his footsteps and only a father who has displayed such enormous loyalty and dedication can raise children who, amid being rich and famous, are widely regarded as possessed of high character. So maybe old Archie got his reward in the end after all. Not a Super Bowl but two sons who won Super Bowls and who are models of sportsmen as gentlemen. This is the reward that character, rather than a championship, can bestow. It's a lesson that LeBron James, who clearly bought into the 'winning is everything' mindset, ought to take to heart. When James dumped Cleveland this week - without the courtesy of even informing the team directly - in order to artificially manufacture a championship team with Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh at the Miami Heat, he demonstrated that what really counts in sports is not character but victory, not loyalty but success. Yes, we all want to win, and no, none of us enjoy losing. But the price we're prepared to pay for our victories is that which will determine our essential character. Everywhere you look in sports today character is second to victory. I'm an avid cyclist and experience few joys like getting on my bike and getting out into nature. What a pity then that so many professional cyclists have ruined the sport through doping in the belief that crossing the finish line first trumps putting principles first. It started, of course, with baseball, where players trade teams as easily as kids trade baseball cards. Every player is up for grabs to the highest bidder. In baseball team loyalty is almost nonexistent. It shouldn't surprise us, therefore, that the sport suffered the worst of the doping scandals. But since sports aren't the most important thing in life, why should any this matter? Because it's indicative of a culture that puts winning above everything. In today's business world the biggest winners of all are no longer the doctors or lawyers but Wall Street investment bankers who make all other professionals appear like losers by comparison. On Wall Street if you're not in the ranks of the super-wealthy, earning tens of millions of dollars a year, you're a failure who can only gawk in awe at the masters of the Universe who run multi-billion dollar hedge funds. No wonder then that so many on Wall Street took irresponsible risks in order to have the paydays that would take them into the highest echelons. The fact that their risk was paid for by our tax dollars did not much matter. Remember, it's success at any cost. The winning is everything ethos trickles down to an increasingly rancid and shallow media culture where newspapers and TV rely on shallow Hollywood gossip to boost ratings even as all this nonsense makes the American audience dumber and dumber. It then trickles down even further to vulnerable teenagers whose first desire is to simply be famous, however that might happen. Want to know why kids cheat at school? Come now. Is that a serious question? How different are they to the rest of us who employ a win-at-any-cost model. But there is hope among the youth who are, as yet, not as cynical as we adults. The New York Times reported this week that Miley Cyrus has rapidly dropped in popularity by twenty percentage points among girls because of her new hyper-sexualized image, which includes a video of her giving a lap dance to a 44-year-old director and appearing seemingly nude, covered only by a sheet in Vanity Fair. Likewise, her new album 'Can't Be Tamed' has cratered, selling 72% less than her previous album which sported a more wholesome female image. Which just goes to show you. Not all kids will applaud success at any cost.
 
 
 

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Sam1jere
Open-minded, sports lover, Red
07:23 AM on 07/19/2010
A powerful article and a superb anecdote about Archie Manning. In this day and age, all too often first is first and last is nothing. It's about the trophies and accolades, rarely about character and integrity. What do we remember John Wooden most for? His winning record is formidable but his impact on his wards priceless. Impact is truly determined by legacy, the body of work one leaves behind. This is why we hardly remember Mohandas K. Gandhi or Nelson Mandela the lawyers, but one remembers civil disobedience and the reconciliatory approach to governance from the two.

When bullets start to flower, so does one's own legacy regardless of outcome. Yitzhak Rabin the soldier died the moment he became a dove and opted for reconciliation over brute force.

How do you throw away your silver medal and forget you're one of the very few who've ever graced a final? Seems to me Bert van Marwijk had already lost with that kind of attitude! It is time we inculcated belief in the upcoming generations and taught them that winning is indeed everything, when coupled with character, discipline, obedience, respect for the other and humility.

Only then is anyone ready to pick up their deserved accolades. Only then.
03:30 PM on 07/14/2010
I agree with your observation contingent on accepting paradox's constant...we all either sell or subscribe to [it] in some way form or fashion....bellying Lebron up to the shadows' bar to drink our whole excuse is a bit much;
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09:57 AM on 07/14/2010
In the real world, kids grow up and move away from home. They go to college, join the service, or get a job. Once they've had a chance to see the world, then they can truly choose to return home or stay out there in the world. LeBron never had that chance.

He was drafted by his hometown team. If he wanted to play, the only team he could play for was Cleveland. Four years later when his rookie contract expired, he chose to stay home out of a sense of loyalty, obligation, expectation, comfort, or whatever you want to call it.

Now at 25, he sees what his friends who left home experienced. What he missed out on. He figures it's time to leave the nest and make his way in the world. But there are still the same obligations, expectations, and comforts at home. Cleveland's like your mom when you're trying to leave home. If he leaves, he's a backstabber. But if he stays, he'll never know what it's like to be on his own.

It's strange that, as a family counselor, you'd see it differently.
03:51 AM on 07/13/2010
"But the price we're prepared to pay for our victories is that which will determine our essential character."

Take the US basketball team at the Olympics - what does it do for society when these great professional athletes win at the Olympics instead of amateurs? (The International Olympic Committee allowed various professional athletes in the Olympics from the early 1990's.) Yes, it is a great show put on for TV by the International Olympic Committee (IOC). - but at what price?

While a guy like LeBron in the Olympics a victory for US basketball fans - there is no reasonable way an amateur US basketball player can nowdays hope to make the US Olympic Basketball team. Wasn't the success of amateur athletes in the Olympics a reason we used to love the Olympics?

These days with pro athletes, the Olympics are evidently more about the character of loving sport for money than the character of loving sport for sport. It would seem to be a reason why the Olympic brand is so protected. If things go wrong, like they did in Vancouver with the death of the luge athlete, there are not too many questions asked - a second example is at http://www.kimberly2004.com.
12:24 AM on 07/13/2010
Bad idea pointing out the Mannings. It was Eli Manning who htold the NFL team that drafted him (San Diego) he wouldn't play there and he wouldn't sign a deal - so they had to trade him to the Giants. And it's been widely believed that Peyton Manning stayed in college an extra year, even though he was a clear draft choice because he didn't want to play under a hard liner Bill Parcels at the Jets.

But it was a no risk move for Peyton, papa Archie had a $10 million insurance policy on Peyton if he were to get injured playing in college. An Insurance policy I doubt Lebron James' mom could have afforded had LeBron not gone pro.
12:14 PM on 07/13/2010
"An Insurance policy I doubt Lebron James' mom could have afforded had LeBron not gone pro." Yes, but he could have gotten an education of all things. I feel bad that Lebron grew up with nothing, but I've got no love for his mom. She allowed herself to be exploited as much as Lebron did. But at least her son has given back to the community
12:42 PM on 07/13/2010
"get an education" is a pretty naive view of College Sports, in my opinion. There's tons of athletes in college for Sports only, who never graduate , don't make it in the pros, and never had a hope of making 1/10th the money Lebron James will make.

And if Peyton Manning was in school strictly for the education, why would he need insurance against an injury that could derail his pro sports career? Wasn't his goal to pursue a job in the field of his college degree?

Besides, if Lebron decides he wants to become study Biology or Political Science, I'm sure he can afford the tuition.
11:36 PM on 07/12/2010
I don't like basketball, my game is hockey, that's probably why I don't understand all the hype about Mr. James. Why all the cyberspace and media attention. Allegiance should be to the almighty buck right? Isn't that what this country is all about? Think of all the kids going to bet tonight dreaming of becoming the next Labron and living in Florida where the greatest imports are caskets.
SoSorry
There are no gods.
11:32 PM on 07/12/2010
Wow, what did LeBron do to you???
11:42 PM on 07/12/2010
Apparently he stole something from some of these ppl moms!
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pgurlatl
libby chic geek
12:25 AM on 07/13/2010
A sense of privilege.
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FZliveson
Beating the Conundrum
11:21 PM on 07/12/2010
I hope he does a lot of good for the community, charity and that he becomes a real role model for kids.
The day will come when he will have to quit dribbling and start drooling. His life's deeds will come home to roost and he will reap what he sowed.
11:37 PM on 07/12/2010
Wow.....Its not that serious people....
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pgurlatl
libby chic geek
12:25 AM on 07/13/2010
He has done so much for Cleveland that if every citizen were to give him a dollar it wouldn't be enough to repay him.
11:11 PM on 07/12/2010
What a wonderful message. However, I really wish Rabbi Shmuley would make better use of punctuation and have added paragraph breaks. The article was very difficult to read.
05:54 PM on 07/16/2010
I'm sure it's just me, but I can't look at this article without feeling a headache coming on (seriously). And he calls himself a 'writer'. Wanted to read the article but...just...couldn't.
11:07 PM on 07/12/2010
Lebron made a career decision. He honored his contract and just the fact that Cleveland thought they might be in the running tells alot about Lebron. He did not bad mouth Cleveland he stayed with them through the contract and Cleveland loved him. What more can you ask?

I think he made a decision to move where the weather is nice year round and to save a heck of a lot of tax dollars. 2 million a year in state taxes. He can do much better to help the local economy than the government could ever dream of doing. His 2 million in state taxes would have been wasted by politicians in Ohio. And I have driven through Cleveland it is not necessarily a nice view, I left a much prettier part of the state so I am not dissing the entire state but Cleveland is just ugly.
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Ken Nemeth
06:43 AM on 07/13/2010
That's a really good point that not a lot of people talk about - the Florida Marlins attracted a ton of talent when they started because there is no state income tax in Florida.
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smoovejef
Karma is my God
10:40 PM on 07/12/2010
I'm still looking for this 'easy way to the championship' I keep hearing about. Last time I looked, the East has more than one playoff caliber team, and not one of those professionals is going to back up and give the Heat an easy path to the trophy. They have a talented nucleus to fight for it, but make no mistake, they WILL have to fight for it. I don't see the Magic, Celtics or any other team rolling over for them.
As for Cleveland, LeBron gave you what was arguably the best basketball representation your city had EVER seen for 7 years, and all of a sudden, those years mean nothing. I would have left you, too. He didn't dump you, his contract was over. Contracts expire, and people move on. That's pro sports, and if you don't have the stomach for it, maybe you don't deserve a team. If he was everything you said he was (quitter), you should be celebrating his departure. Unless, of course, you're being disingenuous. Stop acting like jilted lovers about the one who's gone, and tell your hometown team's owner to do what it takes to attract top free agent talent to make the Cavaliers contenders again. Focus, boys & girls, this one's for all the marbles.
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Ken Nemeth
06:42 AM on 07/13/2010
Seconded and faved.
10:38 PM on 07/13/2010
We all know he wanted to leave Cleveland. Hey, that's his right to do so.

But the decent thing to do would have been to be upfront with them. Tell them you're not coming back, so they have a chance to go after one of the other free agents out there.
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Ken Nemeth
10:09 PM on 07/12/2010
Rabbi Shmuley,
I read your posts every week but you got this one totally wrong. LeBron didn't "dump Cleveland." Like any other professional in his position whether it be sports or medicine or cobbling, he had a contract that was up and he had the choice to either sign another contract with his employer or he could seek offers from other employers who might be amenable to paying for his services. He chose to seek other offers. He gave 7 years of blood, sweat and tears to the Cleveland Cavaliers. For men, that's about a tenth of your entire life.
You see, it doesn't matter why he left. The ring, the weather, the owner, the team, his friends, his momma, the lack of good Cuban cuisine, whatever. He is a free man, not a slave, and he made his choice.
I, for one, am amazed at how he did it. He clearly has been setting up this move for months, if not years. He now gets to play basketball for lots of money with his best friends in one of the coolest cities in the world and he MADE THAT CHOICE. The NBA owners better watch out - this is a tipping point in professional basketball. Three elite players have shown that they can play the owners just like they can run a pick and roll. What a performance. Bravo, LeBron, I hope you live your dream in Miami. I extend my best wishes and continued success.
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smoovejef
Karma is my God
10:27 PM on 07/12/2010
Seconded and faved.
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pgurlatl
libby chic geek
12:08 AM on 07/13/2010
Very well said.
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Issaquah79
Look mom no head!
09:54 PM on 07/12/2010
I don't know anything about sports and I don't care to but Rabbi Shmuley is a wonderful and wise individual with so much insight into our problems as a society. I am so thankful he is with us and guiding us. We need SOOOOO many more people like him. Much love Rabbi!
10:18 PM on 07/12/2010
You said you do not know too much about sports. I understand. So here is something for you to understand, every season in every sports owners cut players without warning them or players hear about being traded by the media instead of ownership. The Cavaliers need to get over it and move on. If Lebron was such a bad guy why did they want him to re-sign with the team. Please there was no chanpionship there in Cleveland, he honored his contract and moved on to try and chase a championship. Lots of other have done that. Loyalty is great but is not always the best thing.
08:14 PM on 07/12/2010
This article is for those who believe the Hype! They tell you that" winning isn't everything it's the only thing." Mass Media has been selling us a bill of goods since way before sliced bread,but do you really buy it? Heck,they make a fortune at it and you may assume it's true but deep down inside for those that aren't to shallow to go there you know in your heart its buffalo chips. When the crowds gone and the fair weather friends are gone and it is just you and yourself unless you know the LORD, it can be extremely empty. This is the part of fame and fortune thats left off plus the fact that unless you have some real true friends you know the ones that were there before the fame and wanted nothing and are still there when fame has left the building. Without these folks it's lonely at the top and everyone's gunning for their little piece of your rock. I've been around a few rich folks and some famous one's to. The bottom line is their just people just like you and me. Often times that fact gets lost in all the glory. Irregardless if the Heat wins another Championship or not it'll be great to watch. Mr.James has done right by Cleveland since High School and hopefully the fans will get over it. So what He Hammed it up youthful exuberance tends to get the best of us sometimes.
Deal with it!
08:09 PM on 07/12/2010
Good points, Rabbi. The only reason athletes can be paid such high salaries is because we taxpayers subsidize the professional sports industry. If any team owner had to build his own stadium, ball players would be getting paid like municipal workers. We should be taxing the crap out of athletes to make up for the palaces we've built them to work in. There's no reason that a professional ballplayer needs two shark tanks, a private jet and a collection of mazarattis. That money would be far better spent on schools, roads and cops.
01:38 AM on 07/13/2010
Hey, If you don't like what pro atheletes are paid, don't patronize the sport. It's called freedom of choice. Don't expect me to cowtow to your bent ideals. Pro sports are just child's games which are used to entertain the mindless masses. I think pros are overpaid, but if that's what the public wants, so be it. I sure don't expect them to make my mortgage payment. Like yo and the rest of your ilk.