Michael Jackson's and My Dream to Create a National Family Dinner Night

This coming Friday night, September 25th, NBC will air a one-hour, prime-time Dateline special hosted by Meredith Vieira, featuring a book I am publishing on the 30 hours of conversations that I conducted with Michael Jackson. The book, The Michael Jackson Tapes: A Tragic Icon Reveals His Soul in Private Conversation, contains the most of insightful, raw, painful, and authentic conversations for public distribution that Michael ever had. It was Michael's desperate wish that our conversations be produced and the book be published so that his heart might be known to a public he understood was greatly suspicious of him. He wanted to share a deeper side of himself that our friendship had begun to uncover. The depth and searing honesty of the conversations contained in the book are sure to change the public's perception of Michael forever.

The choice to air the TV special launching the book on a Friday night, although it unavoidably demands that the normally live program will have to be prerecorded in deference to the laws of the Jewish Sabbath, goes hand-in-hand with a recurring theme in the book. Michael and I always dreamed of introducing a national family dinner night, an evening when parents would prioritize their children without distraction. Friday night was the natural choice since Michael, a non-Jew raised in the Jehovah's Witnesses Church, loved the Jewish Sabbath meals he ate at our home with his children. A superstar whose life was frenzied and harried, he welcomed the utter serenity of an evening where cell phones and TVs were off and the only sound was that of intimate conversation and gentle laughter.

A year ago this dream became a reality when my organization, This World: The Values Network, unveiled "Turn Friday Night Into Family Night," a national initiative to have families of every denomination, ethnicity, and persuasion adopt Friday night as the time to turn off the noise that so invades the modern home and focus exclusively on their children. NBC kindly agreed to highlight our Friday Night National Family Dinner initiative as a central part of the program and further agreed to air our Public Service Announcements, featuring leading personalities like Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, Kathie Lee Gifford, Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, Mayor Cory Booker, Rachel Hunter, and others who have recorded thirty-second advertisements promoting our family dinner initiative (the ads are available at our website www.FridayIsFamily.com)

To be sure, Michael has strong critics and my book and our conversations do not in any way whitewash his shortcomings. But he was extraordinarily eloquent when speaking about how he was scarred by a childhood that, due to incessant touring and performances, lacked the basic staples of a nurturing upbringing like regular family dinners and quantity time with parents. He wanted to make sure that Moms and Dads understood the risks of shortchanging their children's natural right to be the center of their parent's world. In one moving comment, which will be played on the NBC special, he expressed to me just how badly he wanted to establish a regular holiday for kids: "I want the holiday so badly, that's my dream. We should mention it to the UN. To me, it is criminal not to acknowledge the children, our greatest asset. If there were Children's Day when I was little and I could look at my father, 'Okay, Daddy, Joseph, what are we going to do today?' Do you know what that would have meant for me? He'd go, 'Well, do you want to go to the movies?' That would have meant so much to me. You just need that one moment of attention."

Michael, sadly, did not live to see the establishment of a regular day dedicated to parents prioritizing children. His tragic life, in which he medicated away his loneliness until it finally consumed him, serves as a morality tale to the rest of us. Our children do not need fame and fortune but love and attention. We can make a weekly children's holiday a reality in the lives of our children, today. The Jewish Sabbath leads the way.

A day consecrated by the Bible to family and community, it ought to become a universal celebration of conversation, generosity, and togetherness. The recipe is simple. We call it "The Triple Two." Every Friday night give your kids two hours uninterrupted by television, movies or video games. Invite two guests, to teach your children hospitality. And prepare two substantive subjects for discussion in order to deepen the family's interests and awaken your child's intellectual curiosity.

TIME magazine reports that the more families eat meals together, the less likely their children are to smoke, drink, do drugs, get depressed, develop eating disorders and consider suicide, and the more likely they are to do well in school, delay having sex, eat their vegetables, learn big words, and know which fork to use. A 2005 study by Columbia University found that family dinners get better with practice. The less often a family eats together, the worse the experience is likely to be, the less healthy the food, and the more meager the talk. Among those families who eat together three or fewer times a week, a staggering forty-five percent say the TV is on during the meals. Just imagine how a child feels when parents sit down to eat dinner and the TV is blaring in the background. The message is clear. You're too boring for me to focus on you for half an hour a day. Studies show that such kids are also more than twice as likely as those who have frequent family meals to say there is a great deal of tension among family members. They are also much less likely to think their parents are proud of them.
The pain of parental neglect affects so many today. This is the perfect time to rededicate ourselves to a campaign like "Turn Friday Night Into Family Night," that would be a step forward to healing the American family.

It is my hope that the millions of people who will watch the NBC special will be inspired to join the millions of Jewish families who throughout the world and throughout time have always 'Turned Friday night into family night.' The Jewish Sabbath is our people's greatest treasure and it is a gift that should be shared with the world.

Many will say that given the serious allegations against Michael Jackson he is a poor catalyst for the creation of a national family dinner night. Perhaps. But I have always been moved by the illuminating teaching of Judaism's greatest thinker, Maimonides, who said, "Embrace the truth regardless of its source."


Rabbi Shmuley's Boteach's new book The Michael Jackson Tapes: A Tragic Icon Reveals His Soul in Intimate Conversation will be published this Friday, September 25th and will be available in all book stores and the Sony EBook store. www.shmuley.com

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Comments

[Killashandra]

So Shmuley, Michael turned to you for help at at time when he needed it, and your idea of meaningful spiritual guidance was to prompt - if not actually compel him, into answering questions him about Hitler, the Beatles and Madonna. You have seriously underestimated the intelligence of people if you think we buy the notion that these subjects for discussion were Michael's. These convieneniently commercial­ly-friendl­y topics indicate that even at the time these recordings took place you knew a time would come one day when you would sell your 'relationship' with Michael on the open market. To listen to someone in need telling you about their childhood abuse, to witness someone's confusion and anguish in what are clearly therapy sessions - not preparations for a book as you maintain; and put your own needs first as you have done - is nothing short of abuse. With this act of betrayal, you, Shmuley, have excused yourself from any moral or higher authority you may once have had. You have profoundly disgraced your faith.

[GroveGal10]

Rabbi Shmuley,

You placed judgment upon Michael. You interpreted his words and labeled him with your definitions. What a shame you of all people would do this. Those tapes should have been turned over to his family for their decision. You have broadcast the words of a man spoken in confidence to you. You may say he one day agreed to publish these but we don't know that. There is no end to people who wish to take a piece of MJ even as he is gone.

[Killashandra]

It speaks volumes that Michael did not attempt to have these tapes published when he was alive, likewise it speaks volumes about Schmuley that he would, now that Michael is dead. For it is clear that Schmuley has not decided to publish out of some lingering affection for Michael. Throughout the scattered, meanderings of this so-called 'book' Schmuley offers us sweeping statements suggesting Michael was a misogynist who - obsessed with the idea of messiah-hood,'could certainly be guilty of unspeakable crimes.' The tapes sound like therapy sessions with 'leading' questions being introduced into the stream of conversation by Schmuley before he offers advice back. A leading Rabbi, Michael Sternfield commented recently that Schmuley has breached Judaic law and most people's definition of morality in betraying the confidence and trust placed in him by Michael. Despite Schmuley's overkill protestations that Michael 'wanted' these tapes published to 'bring the family together,' I am certain most people will recognize this book for what it is: a shameless act of exploitative betrayal and self-interest with greed at its heart. I understand fans or the merely curious wanting to hear Michael's voice and it is not them I have an issue with. If you want to listen to the tapes by all means go to youtube, in the coming weeks all the audio will be uploaded - if that is what you want. Just please, don't buy the book. You can refuse to be part of 'enabling' Schmuley to profit from Michael's death.

[MJislove777]

We , of the "Vindication for Michael Jackson group ,are boycotting this book. Boteach has not provided any proof that Michael indeed wanted these tapes released or this book to be published. Why should we take Boteach's word for it???

[Killashandra]

I take great issue with claim that the Rabbi told Michael Jackson he couldn't be alone with children that were not his own. Michael was not an abuser. When are we going to all finally lay this horrendous myth r to rest; it's so, so wrong. By now, everybody must have seen or read the wealth of intelligent, informed, detailed evidence out there that supports the contrary. Michael very much regretted not fighting the 1993 allegations, but was advised that the unprecedented hostile media climate meant a non-guilty verdict was highly unlikely. The release of these tapes, is not as the rabbi claims for Michael's benefit. He is outwardly saying that to encourage fans to purchase it. Please do not buy this - its an utterly shameless theft of someone's thoughts and feelings before they had a chance to revise, think about or even alter them. Schulmey, piggybacks on the publicity of the release of the film to capitalize on sales and this book neither benefits Michael's children, sociologically or financially. This is exploitation at its most toxic, and Schmuley plays the part of friend - like an expert.

[rsprags]

I will continue to support the charities MJJ care about and the foundation he started, however, this talking rogue rab bi, not so much! Family night is a great idea for any family but I have a problem with one more person who pretended to be Michael's friend coming out after his death to get attention, write a book, and disclose private taped conversation with MJJ.
There is nothing on the tapes to say in what content they were recorded if voluntary or involuntary because he didn't know they were being taped; and/or if he had permission to release these tapes either before or after MJJ's death.
MJJ's Fan Clubes have already put him on our NO support list. Bioteach see how many of these books you sell!

[blatz]

Remember Denise Rich? Didn't she donate $100.000 to the L'Chaim Society?
That $100,000 shows up in the L'Chaim Society's 2000 tax return. The same return shows no money whatsoever was spent on anything remotely charitable, just salaries and expenses.
Rich, who is the victim in this case, thought she was giving the money to one of Jackson's charities at the time. Michael Jackson never saw the money or the check. It went straight to Boteach and the L'Chaim Society.
Did $100,000 go to charity? Remember Heal The KIds?

[prafmm]

sounds like a wonderful idea !!! I'm in...