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Rabbi Shmuley Boteach

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Why American Religion Isn't Refining American Values

Posted: 01/23/2012 9:10 am

At the heart of the American experience is a profound contradiction: How are we so incredibly religious and yet so seemingly decadent?

While only 35% of Britons believe in God and 43% say they have no religion, 92% of Americans are believers and 80% are church-goers. Those same Americans, though, also make 68 million pornographic search engine requests every day, spending more than $3,000 on pornographic websites every second.

How are we to understand the materialistic impulses that had us spending $52.4 billion on Black Friday weekend shopping alone, and the bizarre accompanying stories like the woman who injured 20 shoppers by firing pepper spray into a crowd to clear her path to an Xbox?

Every four years, our presidential election cycle suggests the answer: Our public figures are obsessed with gay marriage and abortion to the exclusion of all other values.

Watch the Republican debates on television and you would think that America faces not a single social challenge other than stopping gays from marrying and women from aborting fetuses. America is a religious nation whose religious convictions have been hijacked by these twin issues, even though they have little to do with most Americans.

While approximately 7% of the American population is gay, more than 50% of all marriages end in divorce. In fact, gays seem to be the only men in America who are still passionate about marriage. Straight people don't need help from gays to destroy the institution of marriage, having a done a mighty fine job of it ourselves, thank you very much. But rather than pastors pushing real policies that might stem the tide of divorce -- like making marital counseling tax-deductible -- they dwell on a politically divisive distraction.

In 1999 I published a book, Kosher Sex, which was pilloried by Jewish and Christian clerics for offering explicit erotic advice about how to make the marital bedroom passionate again. Yet the No. 1 cause of divorce in America is sexual boredom and lack of erotic interest, with the Washington Post reporting that one of three American couples is entirely platonic. Were pastors more willing to teach, say, the Song of Solomon, with its deep erotic secrets, rather than obsessing over gay marriage, millions of American children might not end up as yo-yos shuffling between parents' homes on weekends.

In 2008, the American economy nearly collapsed. For bankers and consumers, homes were never big enough and cars never new enough. If ever there were a time for American religious and political leaders to examine materialism, gluttony and greed, it was then. But my evangelical brothers and sisters responded instead with Proposition 8, a national campaign to overturn gay marriage in California.

Abortion has also become a major distraction ignoring the values that underlie it. Almost all abortions are sought by single women who have been impregnated by men in an out-of-wedlock relationships. Yet where is the national conversation about a culture that degrades woman and portrays them as the libidinous man's plaything?

Tim Tebow is pilloried for the unseemly act of prayer in the secular cathedral of the stadium. But women jumping up and down in lycra to the accompaniment of pompoms and cleavage creates no offense. From the 4.2 million porn websites in the U.S. to the recording industry peddling soft porn and magazines idealizing dangerously thin models, the dream of women being appreciated as much for the their brains as for their bust is undermined. Yet we see no push for school uniforms, for example, that could inculcate values of modesty and respect for the body among American teenagers.

In the African-American community, nearly 70% of all children are born out of wedlock, resulting in single mothers raising children on their own. Aside from Bill Cosby's courageous speeches on the subject, pastors largely ignore men's obligations to their children in favor of the Supreme Court's obligation to the unborn.

It's a cruel failure of leadership on the part of our religious, political and cultural icons. And this campaign year already looks like it'll only perpetuate the problem.

Rabbi Shmuley's newest book, Kosher Jesus (Gefen), examining the Jewish life of Jesus, will be published on February 1st. In 2010 he published "Renewal" which detailed the 7 universal Jewish values that could bring healing to America. Follow him on Twitter @RabbiShmuley.

 
 
 

Follow Rabbi Shmuley Boteach on Twitter: www.twitter.com/RabbiShmuley

 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MRstoner2udude
I'm a human being? What about you?
11:04 AM on 01/24/2012
We have false values that's why. 80% go to church....uh, no way.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Melanie226
Former Riotgrrl & Current Jewish Suburb Mom
03:43 AM on 01/24/2012
From what I've seen throughout my life growing up in "G-d's country", those who tout themselves as the most religious are usually the biggest hypocrites. Look what just happened in South Carolina. SoCar was supposedly stocked to the rim with "values voters" and who did they come out in droves for; the guy who cheated on all his wives, left said wives when they were sick, allowed his first wife with the two children to go back to their home state destitute needing the assistance of the church to pay for housing and food until a court order told him to fulfill his financial obligation to them. Gingrich should have been run out of SoCar, but instead, they got behind his bullying of the debate moderator. The truth is this country is religious until it becomes inconvenient, then it is perfectly comfortable with the double standard and a heck of a lot of hypocrisy.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Rowsdower
For extra fun, read my posts in Igniknokt's voice.
01:17 AM on 01/24/2012
So very close this time, rabbi. On the one hand, the religious right is seriously misguided for obsessing about gays and abortion. On the other hand, what they SHOULD be focusing on is taking care of the poor and the ill, not making cheerleaders cover their cleavage.

By the way, the economy didn't nearly melt down because the common man is too materialistic; the problem was banks pulling shenanigans. But you knew that already.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MRstoner2udude
I'm a human being? What about you?
11:07 AM on 01/24/2012
Yeah, I want to echo the fact that people are not to blame for the economic mess. It was and still is large, soulless corporations lying, stealing and cheating their way to ruin that brought us down. That and lax oversite by the gov't.
08:19 PM on 01/23/2012
My father-in-law says sex is a minor part of your marriage unless it is an issue and then it becomes a major part. Having problems in the marital bedroom is a sympton of greater issues in your marriage. It is not the issue itself. I love the Song of Solomon and don't think it is taught or studied enough. Although I do not think you can legislate morality and do believe politics should be kept out of the church because all it does is alienate people, you can't just take a part of the Bible and decide you like that more than this part. Because, like it or not Rabbi, the Bible says homosexuality is wrong in both testaments.
11:24 AM on 01/25/2012
"you can't just take a part of the Bible and decide you like that more than this part"

I believe that was exactly the Rabbi's point, yes. There are 613 commandments in the Hebrew Torah. Why on earth are politicians--and commenters like you--spending so much focus on just one of them (because it never does actually outlaw abortion, but I'll admit that it forbids (male) homosexuality), and ignoring all the rest every election season?
05:56 PM on 01/23/2012
"even though they have little to do with most Americans."

You don't think abortion is something that has to do with most Americans? Up to half* of all women in the U.S. will have an abortion in their lifetime, and for every one of these women there is a corresponding man involved. Abortion is a fundamental part of healthcare for women.

*
Health Topics: Facts for Women: Termination of Pregnancy
Half of all women in the United States will have an abortion in their lifetime.
depts.washington.edu/uwcoe/healthtopics/.../term_facts.html
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
offred
A biocitizen is 3/5 of a corporate citizen
03:29 PM on 01/23/2012
"In 2008, the American economy nearly collapsed."

Technically, it started toward the end of 2007.

I know it's kind of irrelevant, but we need to keep reminding Republicans that Obama isn't responsible for the whole mishegoss.
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BurtonDesque
Fear a Blank Planet
05:33 PM on 01/24/2012
Well, if you want to be pedantic, then so will I.

Obama wasn't President until 2009, so he can't be blamed for the economy of 2008 either.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
offred
A biocitizen is 3/5 of a corporate citizen
07:23 PM on 01/24/2012
Right. Sorry, my bad. Apparently my brain was shut down that day.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
edejan
03:03 PM on 01/23/2012
Rabbi, we are NOT a religious people. We use religion as a cover for our bad behavior. We are a nation of "whited sepulchres" and this can be seen most publicly in our political leaders. I was brought up in religion and went only to religious schools. We were ingrained with applying the Ten Commandments to our daily lives. I don't think religion is "taught" in that context any more. It's simply another way to define ourselves publicly in a supposedly positive way and a way to impose our world views on others.
01:52 PM on 01/23/2012
Religion does not equate to morals or integrity or even simple kindness. There are a much higher percentage of christians and muslims in prison than atheists (compared to the general population). I would say religion is why we seem to have less morals. People give lip service to their belief in god and think that excuses them from their actions. Without a belief in some higher being a person knows their future is dependant on their current actions, and we must as humans help each other where we can, because no god is going to intervene for us.

Education and teaching reasoning and logic from a young age would solve many of our problems.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Proletarian101
09:38 AM on 01/24/2012
"Education and teaching reasoning and logic from a young age would solve many of our problems"

This is true, but this can be done with both a secular and religious upbringing.
02:01 PM on 01/24/2012
A religious upbringing directly opposes reason and logic as it indoctinates a child to have "faith" in a higher power without any testable evidence of it's existance. If there is a god such as Jews, Christians or Muslims believe in that is active in the world and listens to prayers and punishes or forgives sins, then it would be self evident. Obviously it is not self evident or there would not be so many different belief systems.

If a religious started stressing reasoning and logic it would die out in a few generations.
02:03 PM on 01/24/2012
Bah, spelling errors I cannot go back to edit.
gypsygal
My micro-bio is empty.
01:48 PM on 01/23/2012
I agree with most of what this article say. I take issue, however, with the Rabbi's suggestion that the way to have girls appreciated for their brains not breasts is to dress them in modest school uniforms. I'm not sure how he can suggest this with a straight face, knowing that it is a mere one or two steps removed from having girls and women dress required to cover their entire body in a burqa when in public.

True respect for girls and women does not require them to cover their bodies, it does not require shame. It requires men to change their way of thinking and to grow their brain so that they can understand what true respect is. It requires them to grow a sense of shared humanity rather than indulging in their perceived priveleged status or position of power in this world.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
edejan
03:06 PM on 01/23/2012
True respect for women starts with self-respect. Any any girl or woman with confidence and self-respect would not dress scantily or provocatively in public. Following fashion blindly indicates a lack of self-awareness and a need to be a follower, not a leader.
gypsygal
My micro-bio is empty.
04:03 PM on 01/23/2012
Actually, a woman who respects herself will dress however she pleases. She will realizes that to dress scantily bears no shame in-and-of itself, and any judgments of being too "provocative" are projections on the part of the person doing the judging.

Having to cover yourself to please a religion is just as blind as following fashion trends. A self-respecting woman is true to herself and doesn't submit to the judgments of either.
08:23 PM on 01/23/2012
It starts with a good role model. So grateful my children have a good one in their father. Women need to think of these things before they go having children with some loser they met along the way. The cheapest birth control only costs 5 cents. Hold a nickel between your knees.
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ProofRequired
Taking back the human race, one believer at a time
01:41 PM on 01/23/2012
As usual, Rabbi, you bring up an excellent array of points. Unfortunately, many of the problems you illuminate would be corrected without your own religious beliefs. The degradation of women begins with the 10th commandment and continues throughout scripture ad nauseum. The failure of marriage in America has much to do with the religious view of marriage as an obligation, especially for sex, that pushes many an unready couple up to the altar. And then there is the gay travesty, where the horrendous words throughout scripture for the sin of being gay cannot be ignored by those who believe. I find it close to wondrous that a man of your obvious intelligence cannot see this irony.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
kvanness
Follow the money and the rest will make sense
01:37 PM on 01/23/2012
The reason religion is not refining values in America is because the majority of Christian Americans are Sunday morning, "Do you accept Jesus Christ to be your Lord and Savior? [Click here to agree]" Christians.

The average American Christian just wants to be the "feel secure that you're not gonna burn in hell for all eternity with no-strings attached" type of Christians. Instant gratification with no effort and no consequences.

The whole, "put forth the effort to model Christ and emulate his teachings in your daily life" thing? ... Not so much.

That kind of work is way too hard, adds too much stress to daily life, and frankly takes too much away from watching TV.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
whirlpool
founder walnut tree congregation
01:36 PM on 01/23/2012
Why? Because religion itself is phony and doesn't work to perfect human behavior. Its 2,000 + year run has been a failure.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Kye154
01:33 PM on 01/23/2012
This dicotomy of religious values vs. what Americans really practiced out in the real world goes much deeper than this, and you see it in everyday politics and attitudes. For instance, ever wonder about former presidential candidate Michele Bachmann proclaiming she got a message from god to run for president, yet her favorite gun is a locked and loaded AR-15? What did they teach her at Oral Roberts?

Then you have Goldman-Sachs, which started out as a Jewish partnership enterprize in commercial paper for entrepreneurs in 1869, then shifted focus away from trading and towards investment banking in 1930. Now Goldman's swindle people and the government out of their money. Where is good or god in that business?

And then, where are the Christian-Judeo ethics in America, when more than 91 percent of single women say they would marry for love, yet three out of four of them would not marry an unemployed man. See:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/21/three-out-of-four-women-would-not-marry-someone-unemployed_n_881318.html

Who said, "America is a religious nation of religious convictions"? Religion in America is nothing more than a conglomeration of social cults, Who worships money above everything else, and conveniently uses god for their own justifcation and influence. Ever wonder how easy it was for TV Evangelists to make people subconsciously feel bad, (like sinners), so they could rake in the money off these gullible people?
And, they teach religious convictions?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
DrHopeful
Retired teacher, honors program director, author.
01:20 PM on 01/23/2012
Many Christians as early as the first century decided that faith in Jesus Christ, rather than obedience to the commandments given Moses, was essential for salvation. This view has degenerated into making belief the only significant attribute and dismissing the value of ethical behavior. So a contemporary American can say, "Jesus is my personal savior," and then sin, as he is reminded in church that all men do, again and again and expect forgiveness. And just as our society is based of individualism, that is selfish greed, so our religion is self-centered--my belief, my salvation being all-important.
01:14 PM on 01/23/2012
"How are we so incredibly religious and yet so seemingly decadent?"

How about more like: We are seemingly religious and yet so incredibly decadent. It's about time to admit that actions reflect belief. More and more Americans are godless. Period. Thank God. We've had how many centuries to give this stuff called "religion" a chance?