Dear Senator Saland,
I am hoping that in the last hours of your deliberative process I have a chance to speak with you on the issue that fate (or heaven if you will) has put in your hands. I am an Orthodox rabbi, ordained at Yeshiva University. I am also the first openly gay Orthodox rabbi in the U.S. and have written a book on the topic, "Wrestling with God and Men: Homosexuality in the Jewish Tradition," which won the Koret Award for Philosophy and Thought. I share this with you so that my personal stake is made clear from the start. My partner and I cannot marry in New York state and the consequences are significant for us and our 7-month-old daughter, Amalia. I would be very happy to speak with you about this anytime.
The short of the matter is that the separation of church and state protects religions from state interference and protects the state and its many citizens from religious interference. Civil marriage is not Catholic or Jewish or Mormon. It is a wide frame, surely based on a historical norms, but much broader than any one tradition, that knits together individuals into couples, and couples into kinship groups. It is how we learn to care for each other, and the most reliable frame, despite the modern challenges, of life long commitment between one-time strangers.
Civil marriage is more broadly shaped than Jewish traditions that would not permit intermarriage, or the marriage of a cohen (priestly descendant of Aaron in the Bible) and a divorcee. And it is more broadly shaped than Catholic traditions that would not permit remarriage. Now that there are churches and synagogues that perform and hold sacred same-sex vows, the state cannot choose to reject these marriages any more than it can reject marriages that I, as an Orthodox rabbi, would not perform because one partner is a Jew and another a Christian.
The law that already protects priests and rabbis from having to perform civil or religious marriages they do not deem appropriate would work here as well. The state chooses a broad frame of love and commitment because its aims are pragmatic and not rooted in any single sacred canon. The right of every religious community to live by its own canons is already protected by the constitution, and the law before you now has those exclusions already articulated.
It is time for New York State to do what is right on this matter. The unfair distribution of these legal goods is already a violation of principles that we hold dear.
Senator Saland, you are a direct descendant of Rabbi Shmuel Salant who was known for his good sense and, for the times, his liberal sense of goodness and fairness. Unlike others, he honored all the Jews in Jerusalem, not only the powerful. He intentionally built his leadership on an inclusive vision of the community. I do hope that you make a similar choice, one that opens the way for my family and families like it to share in the goods of liberty and justice for all.
Rabbi Steven Greenberg
Director of CLAL Diversity Project and and Director of Orthodox Programs at Nehirim: GLBT Jewish Culture & Spirituality
sgreenberg@clal.org and info@nehirim.org
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Much of the use of the false notion of churches being forced to celebrate same sex marriages if we have our civil rights, or if churches and religions that *do* celebrate such marriages have *our* religious freedoms respected... is all to preserve the illusion that conservative forms of Christianity deserve special powers in our ostensibly-free nation.
In other words, conservative Christian political ambitions masquerading as the 'oppessed majority' if they aren't allowed to deprive others of our rights in civil society.
Thanks, btw, Michael. I don't understand why this concept is so hard to get across to so many, but it helps if Christian clergy repeat it loud and often.
The Jewish people are called to speak as the conscience of mankind. Our authority to speak on the will of G-d is based exclusively on fidelity to the Torah that was given to Moses on Mount Sinai. In the Torah was included the Seven Laws of Noah, the guide for all nations. All human beings are commanded to be fruitful and multiply, and forbidden from engaging in relations between two men or two women.
Human beings are entrusted with the power to rule over their passions. People who feel these impulses are worthy of our compassion. But our mercy should not trigger us to issue a license to allow them to engage in self-destructive behavior with the State’s blessing.
Your letter to Senator Steve Saland is absolutely brilliant. It is thoughtful and well-reasoned, and your excellent points are presented in a manner that is both beautiful and compelling.
Thank you for putting together such a powerful and persuasive letter.
Why doesn't the child have a mother caring for her as well?
My mother died when I was still quite young, and my father did not remarry. He raised me alone, and he did a terrific job.
Now, are you going to look me straight in the computer and tell me that you were just as well off without your mother?
My dad gave me everything, from healthy self-respect, to the drive to achieve something in life, to compassion for others. He taught me how to change my own oil in my car, how to answer difficult exam questions, how to make kick-a$$ omelets, and how to behave on dates.
There is nothing a man, or two men, or any combination we can imagine, who love their child, will not do to give her the right tools for a happy and productive life.
Anyway, I digress, thank you for your words. They are encouraging. :)
I think the practical aspect is that both the religious officiant and the church/synagogue/whatever could refuse to have both the religious and the civil part enacted on their property, at which point it all becomes moot, and the prospective couple would seek a more secular forum.
That forum should be available to them, as should whatever tax benefits and legal protections given to other married folk.
The discrimination comes when you do not allow any way around what has become arbitrary roadblocks to deny a specific group those rights and privileges available to others.