My sister got married a few months ago and so, as people are wont to do with newlyweds, I asked her how things were going. In case you're wondering, things are going great, but she did confess to feeling a little less-cool since she walked down the aisle. Apparently now that they're married they're suddenly not going out as much. They still have their date nights and drinks with friends but they're also totally content to hang out at home and she's wondering if that makes them lame.
"When did we turn into an old married couple?" She asks me laughing.
I'll tell you all the same thing I told my sister... I just turned 30 and I'm one half of the oldest married couple you'll ever know! There are couples that run marathons together and jaunt down to Costa Rica for the weekend (I know this because I see their pictures on Facebook) but my husband and I, we're not those people.
You see, we spent years looking for each other in happy hours and wine bars. We joined friends in the weird sporting events that hipsters fill their time with on the weekends. We'd been set up on numerous blind dates and took part in group outings and met friends of friends all in a quest for finding "the one". And as anyone who's single will tell you, there's only so much ironic Ultimate Frisbee you can play before you're exhausted.
Pretty much the day we got married we became lazy, good-for-nothing, homebodies. It wasn't something we consciously set out to do, it's just that for us, being snuggled up at home is infinitely more exciting than being anywhere else.
I was laughing with a girlfriend recently about this topic. She was telling the story of a recent night out and how it was a big deal because she'd actually curled her hair and shaved her legs and gone to three separate locations on a date with her husband.
Cool, single people are reading that and wondering what's so special about going to more than one spot on a date... but other marrieds might get it. In my married world, going to more than two places in a night (like say, starting with drinks and ending with dinner somewhere else) makes me feel like a world traveler or a Kardashian!
My husband and I just got back from a vacation yesterday. We were in a "fancy city" where we had multiple dinners and parties scheduled with his colleagues. Every single time we had a night free from those work commitments those same colleagues would ask us, with an excited gleam in their eye "where are you going tonight?? A dinner? The theatre maybe?" And every single time we would look at them like they were crazy. Are you kidding? We're kid-free and have the ability to order an Oreo milkshake in bed! There's only one place we're headed and that's back to the hotel room to put on our pajamas!
Writing that out, I suppose I do sound like possibly the biggest loser ever. But I can't bring myself to care very much. Mr. Hollis has been my best friend since the day I met him and I don't like anyone nearly as much as I like him. So yeah, sometimes we do a date night. He wears something handsome and I bring out the "good bra" and we go to a restaurant that doesn't have the word cheesecake in its name. The lighting is dim and we order cocktails that cost as much as a purebred puppy and act like we're cool kids for a couple of hours. But guaranteed, halfway through that dinner we look at each other and talk about how much we can't wait to get back home.
After 11 years together there isn't anywhere I'd rather be than inside a pair of pants with an elastic waistband, talking with him about our day. If that qualifies me for senior citizen status, then so be it. We both work long hours at intense jobs and I'm grateful for the peace that comes from hanging out in our little nest.
So if you're that hip married couple who'll spend this weekend learning to surf off the coast of Bali, please be sure to post the pics online for us to see. Because somewhere in Glendale, two senior citizens will be sipping on boxed wine from the comfort of their bed and we'll need something chat about while we do!