In recent months I've been referred to as a "Mini-Bradshaw," which basically is equivalent to a mini, more family-friendly, version of Carrie Bradshaw in terms of my supposed lifestyle. Which I actually find funny -- I'm only 18, how can I even have a set lifestyle, when my brain hasn't even fully finished developing?! But as such, when I do manage to channel my inner Bradshaw I've found that my strutting throughout the Manhattan streets at times becomes more like trudging... Glamorous, right?
If you tuned into my last post, I failed to mention that sometimes living in Litas isn't as easy as it's made out to be. And of course this applies to life in general, as it continuously presents its trials and tribulations.
One can argue that life's tests derive from overcoming the hardships and conflicts that sometimes accumulate based on either circumstance or even by choice. But what I've found is that the true test comes after the achievement. It becomes a question of having to learn how to deal with the consequences and burdens of success.
Yes, they do exist, but don't get me wrong.
I am a firm believer in working hard and doing what's right. Some may even call me a walking cliche, but lately there have been a number of reaffirmations that have shown me that the work we put in is never truly finished. I'm extremely proud and surprised with what I've accomplished in my short 18, almost 19, years on this planet, but as I sit here writing this I'm starting to realize how much my priorities, whether or not I intended, have changed.
I've changed along with them.
My life solely consists of school, interning and writing, which of course is supplemented by weekly visits with my lovely boyfriend and parents. Very rarely, I find myself having time or making time for friends... And this has begun to take its toll and I guess this is the first time I'm really coming to terms with it.
If you're familiar with my writing, you know that these "life-themed" kind of posts are often a result of my own personal circumstances. Well, I stopped and re-read this piece about five times before I realized how much I keep using the word "I."
Well, I am changing the point of this post, this is not about me anymore, this about all of you and more importantly about the friends and people who've stuck with me through just about everything and how much I've neglected maintaining strong relationships with them.
I'm well-aware that it takes two to tango in terms of relationships, but I've created a small, subject-to-change list, in regards to my circumstances and I guess to share with all of you what I consider to be the burdens and difficulties of being a busy bee.
THE BURDENS OF THE BUSY
Business and pleasure: They say it's toxic to mix business with pleasure and I couldn't agree more, but in this case it's hard to make time for both! I've found that working engulfs you sometimes. When you become so utterly focused on doing a good job, it makes you lose sight of people and things that are important to you, thus losing that pleasure aspect. Having no time for friends = loss of pleasure.
Developing the workaholic syndrome: I'm not really keen on the idea of having a stress-induced ulcer at age 19, so I should really practice what I preach when I say that this syndrome can develop a lot faster than one would think. Since being on a roll, it's easy to let work overpower every other aspect of your life. Once diagnosed, having a healthy balance becomes a thing of the past.
Loss: I guess this sort of assimilates all of the other burdens but it's probably the most important one to look at. This burden encompasses a number of things: Loss of appetite, loss of energy, loss of people, places, things, everything.
So these are the burdens of the busy. They are the warnings and cold truths that come with success, and I'm sure my experiences so far are a far cry away from what I'll endure in the future.
I've pretty much sold my soul to fashion, but even more so, I've sold my soul to my passion and despite these burdens, I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. I think now it's a matter of finding a healthy balance between work and play. But while I may have committed most of my time to what I love, I am urging all of you to try and not lose sight of the little things and loved ones... for they are the greatest successes of all.
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