Disclaimer: I am not engaged, I am not fishing for a proposal from my boyfriend, I am not in a rush to get married. But. I am a woman. And I love weddings.
I am free-falling into the abyss that is Pinterest. A place women can go to feel hope that if we just see enough pictures, we will get in shape, paint beautiful nails every day, bake perfect cupcakes, make homemade crafts at every occasion, and host terrific parties.
Of course, the reality of my life is that I never stick with a work out long enough to see any progress, I bite my nails, I eat so much cake batter I never end up with a dozen cupcakes.
Many a little girl dreams of their wedding days...I can remember thinking about my wedding; dancing and making toasts and being the most beautiful girl in the room. While this is dangerous to admit out loud while in a serious relationship (I can already imagine my boyfriend's palms beginning to sweat as he reads this), I recently (and sheepishly) began a "secret" Pinterest "Wedding" board. (Ah, you crafty social media people! How well you know me! I love secrets!)
And sometimes, late at night, after a happy hour or two, I find myself mindlessly scanning page after page, pinning, "liking," watching the music videos people make of their weddings and crying over the happiness of strangers. (Just google "wedding video" to lose HOURS OF YOUR LIFE TO LOVE.)
At first, I felt so inspired! Look at all these great ideas! How unique! How special and memorable my wedding will be!
But lately I've realized that these Pinterest-y weddings are all starting the look exactly the same. There's almost a formula for them.
- Select outdoor location with stringed white lights everywhere. Places with brick, barns, oceans, are preferred.
- Have some sort of new take on buffets -- donuts, candy in glass jars, popcorn, ice cream sandwiches.
- Bridesmaids MUST be in cowgirl boots. Groomsmen should wear chucks.
- PHOTO BOOTH. MUSTACHES.
- Bride and Groom must write each other adorable letter to accompany expensive gift (jewelry for her, watch or "man cave" things for him). Letter to be read aloud with respective wedding party as you get ready. Insert teary pictures.
- Write your own vows. Use words like "biggest cheerleader" "be a better man" "never knew I could love like this" "marry my best friend."
- MASON JARS. Mason jars EVERYWHERE.
- Work in a fiddle, mandolin, or friends wearing hats and oversized glasses playing guitar.
- Have cool things on wooden or chalkboard signs, like "Grub this Way," "Whiskey Bar," "Cigars," "Games."
- Employ as many precocious children as possible, preferably with flowers in their hair, or a sign that says "Here Comes the Bride" in their grubby little hands.
- Pass out favors so ridiculously adorable that no one will want to eat them.
- SPARKLERS OR ELSE IT WASN'T REAL.
Now, I love looking at all the pictures. Pinterest is like getting a new magazine in the mail every time I open up the internet. I can't stop looking at all the pretty. But everything gets so cute and tiny and colorful and special and unique and personal....after a couple of hours, none of it looks very special at all. We're all spending hours scouring the same source to see how we can be different and special, instead of seeking more inspiration from our own relationships and experiences.
When that special day comes for me, I think I'll look at Pinterest and select a few solid traditional ideas to mix in with just enough personal detail to be unique but not annoying, throw it in mason jars wrapped in burlap, and hopefully get hitched in happiness forever.
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