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Creating My Anti-Bucket List

08/19/2013 11:14 am ET | Updated Oct 19, 2013

The idea of a bucket list has gone viral in the last few years. I'm sure you're familiar with the concept -- the list of goals or dreams, serious or frivolous, you wish to accomplish before you "kick the bucket." There are websites, movies, and books dedicated to helping you carpe every diem. In that spirit, four years ago I made a "thirtyx30″ list of things I'd like to do before turning 30 this year, and have been steadily working my way through it.

However, this weekend, I went to coffee with a dear friend who revealed she had an "Anti-Bucket List."

"A what?!" I said.

"A list of things I will never do," she replied.

"That's brilliant. Give me an example."

"Well... I will never go on a cruise. Don't put me on a boat with 2,000 strangers and call it a 'vacation.'"

Wow. A list of things that I just never have to do. The problem is, people don't judge you for your mostly unoriginal bucket lists (mine includes be in a flashmob, wine tasting, make lasagna from scratch, (cough) boring!), but when I started forming my Anti-Bucket List, I realized some of these might require a little explanation, or I might sound like a bad person.

So here we go.

My Anti-Bucket List

  • I will never own a bird or date someone who owns birds. There is no traumatic story from my childhood behind this, but I just hate birds. I think they are Satan's messengers.
  • I will never go skydiving. Why anyone would pay to practice dying by plane is beyond me.
  • I will never run a marathon. My body was not designed to do it -- I'm built for comfort, not for speed. But I'm also not sure why our society suddenly thinks that people are heroes if they run a marathon. That those with "26.2" stickers on the backs of cars are somehow better people, more charitable, and know the true meaning of life. I can be great at life from my couch.
  • I will never donate blood. I have an unfortunate fear of needles, and for the sake of the people working those donation stations, I just can't do it. And this doesn't make me a selfish person (as some have told me!).
  • I will never live in a land-locked state. Living in California has probably spoiled me for life, and I can't imagine living out of driving distance of the ocean.
  • I will never pay money to see a scary movie. As I get older, I've gotten pickier about what I will read and watch. I don't see the sense in willingly participating in something designed to give me nightmares, when I'm naturally a person who can't sleep if she thinks she saw a spider somewhere in the house.
  • I will never run for political office. I've got lots of ideals, hopes and dreams, but I had way too much fun in college to ever make it past preliminaries, and I don't need anyone combing through Facebook photos to prove that to my constituents.

Let the record state -- this list doesn't mean I think ornithologists who run for office, donate blood, and sky-dive way to scary movies in Kansas theaters are bad people. They're just not me. I'm all for adventure, going out of my comfort zone, and pushing limits, but I also feel freedom in declaring things I don't want to do and will not be pressured into doing. I don't need to run long distances or jump from a plane to be a whole person, and neither do you.

So, what about you? What's on your Anti-Bucket List?