THE BLOG
06/26/2008 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Calling on Bush to Take American Farewell Tour

Earlier this week, President Bush returned from his European trip known as his 'farewell tour,' where he attempted to describe poor relations between America and the European community as good, and the last several years as just one big misunderstanding. After saying goodbye to Europe, the president should get back on Air Force One and take an American farewell tour and try telling Americans it's all been one big misunderstanding as well. A few suggested stops include:

Treasury Department, Washington, DC

Visit the Treasury Department and learn more about the $236 billion annual surplus you turned into a $410 billion deficit this year. Ask how we managed to accrue $3 trillion in new debt.

Niles, Ohio

Drive past the Amweld Building Products factory, then meet with the workers who lost their jobs when the factory closed. When you took office, the unemployment rate in Ohio was 4 percent. Today, it's 5.6 percent and workers who still have jobs have seen the cost of basic goods and services rise, while median family income has fallen by nearly $1,000. This would also be a good time to explain why you now oppose extending unemployment benefits.

Any Gas Station in California

Fill up at any gas station in the Golden State, home of the most expensive gasoline in the country. The average price per gallon of gas in California is $4.60. Californians were paying an average of $1.58 per gallon when you took office in 2001 and the recent increases have been a surprise to you. When told about the prospect of $4 per gallon gasoline, you said "Oh, yeah? That's interesting. I hadn't heard that."

Veterans Hospitals Across the Country

Thank our veterans and explain why you originally opposed a new GI bill for veterans of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

New Orleans, Louisiana

Visit New Orleans and meet with residents who are still waiting for the Bush administration to keep its promises to the people of the Gulf Coast. Make sure to mention your opposition to funding that would reduce the homelessness, which has doubled in New Orleans since Hurricane Katrina.

Track Down Sammy Sosa

When you were asked to name your biggest mistake you once said "I signed off on that wonderful transaction -- Sammy Sosa for Harold Baines. "After the war in Iraq, the economic slump and gas prices hitting record highs, it is probably time to call or visit Mr. Sosa and admit that trading him when you owned the Texas Rangers probably wasn't the biggest mistake you've ever made.

Swedish Covenant Hospital, Chicago Illinois

A trip to the emergency room at Swedish Covenant would allow you to meet some of the millions of Americans who can't afford health insurance and others who have seen their family premiums nearly double. Remind everyone of your old comment: "people have access to health care in America. After all, you just go to an emergency room."

Advise Sixth Graders on Revising Reports

Drop by a sixth grade class and teach them about how to alter reports when the facts aren't to their liking. Point to White House efforts to pressure scientists to remove references to 'climate change' and 'global warming' from a range of documents and the installation of an oil-industry partisan at the White House Council on Environmental Quality who worked to downplay links between emissions and global warming.

College Campuses Across the Country

Stop by any college campus and see the students struggling to afford the skyrocketing cost of college -- tuition costs have increased 75 percent since you took office. On graduation day, the average student will leave college with a diploma and anywhere from $14,000 to $17,000 in debt. Don't forget to say hello to the students just outside the gates who want to attend but can't afford to.

Scott McClellan's House

Check in with your old press secretary and see if he has any summer reading suggestions.

John McCain's Office

Check in with your favorite Senator and formally pass the torch to the man who wants to continue your legacy.

At the end of this tour, the American people will be sure to realize that their opinion of President Bush's time in office is not the result just another misunderstanding. President Bush's legacy speaks loud and clear.