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Raj Thandhi Headshot

12 Reasons Why It's Not So Hard to Be a Lady

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Have you ever tried to act like a lady but failed miserably? Apparently you aren't alone according to this very popular video from BuzzFeed. In the video titled "12 Signs Being Ladylike is Not Your Forte" a very attractive young woman with flawless make-up, perfect curls, and maybe even fake eyelashes talks about her struggle to be perceived as a ladylike.

Let me preface this post by saying I don't believe in passing judgement on how other women look -- and I'm not trying call this woman out for her styling choices in this video. I'm sure there were a lot of people involved in scripting, styling, and filming the video, and I'm really surprised no one else thought this was odd. This girl looks like the perfect candidate for a stereotypical ladylike role in a movie. Am I the only person that can see this?

As someone who likes to think of herself as ladylike, but never has hair that looks as good as the character in this clip, here are 12 tips from me, for those that are struggling to act like a lady. I've chosen to respond to the 12 "issues" the character in the above video is dealing with, because I like to help a sister out.

1. You Don't Know How to Behave in a Dress. There are no real rules to how you need to behave in a dress. You are welcome to wear a dress and give people the finger or flash your panties (seen Miley Ray Cyrus lately?) If that's how you roll, no judgement here. On the flip side; it's not the dress that makes the lady, it's the lady that makes the dress. Someone with grace and confidence will look like a lady no matter what she wears.

2. You Like to Curse. Cursing is not a resume-worthy skill. I get it, some people like to curse; to each their own. Not cursing when talking to people shows respect for them and the time they've taken to listen to your words, and it shows respect for your mother tongue. Also, it's really easy not to curse -- stop doing it. See, you don't have to be ladylike to shut your mouth, even the most uncouth people in the world know what "stuff it" means.

3. You Can't Get the Hang of Make-up. Make-up is not required to be a lady. Excuse me for going all old school on you for a moment, but being a lady is about grace, dignity, ethics, and morals; no lipstick required. On a side note; this part would have been more convincing if the actor in the video wasn't so perfectly made up. So I guess even awkward, un-ladylike women need make-up sometimes, like when playing themselves on TV? Hmmm.

4. You Can't Put Your Hair in an Updo. Again, knowing how to do an up-do is not required to be a lady. After all, we have much more important things to do like paint our nails, and bake apple pies. Also, if my hair looked that good down, I wouldn't want to put it up.

5. You Don't know How to Paint Your Nails. Speaking of painting your nails -- you can pay someone to do that for you. It's not the end of the world if you can't master the nail paint brush. It would be appropriate to note that I'm typing this post with no nail polish on my tips, and I'm still a lady, and would you believe it -- I can still string sentences together.

6. You Go Straight for the Hard Stuff. Drinking too much alcohol is not something to joke about. I have nothing more to say on this point; okay maybe one more thing -- tequilla might make you the life of the party, but no one "really" wants to hold your hair up over the toilet the next day. Also, a glass of wine is less likely to cause vomiting.

7. You Don't Understand Purses. Purses are not rocket science. If you carry a lot of stuff pick a big one; if you don't carry much, pick a little one. The ladies of the world are too busy being mentors to young women, running charitable endeavours, building kick-ass businesses, baking everything for the school bake sale because no one else volunteered, and painting our nails to even worry about where our purse is right now.

8. You Never Learned How to Flirt. Seriously, you never learned how to flirt? Us either, because we didn't go to school in 1952. A lady is always being her true self, she's not playing a role to hook a guy.

9. Eating in Public Is Difficult. This is the one and only thing I agree with in this video -- some people do have a really hard time eating in public. I've often wonder about this one too; why is it so hard to place the food in your mouth, and then keep your mouth closed while you chew? This rule applies to everyone, not just women; use your manners when you eat in public.

10. You're Never Concerned About Your Appearance. Really, do I have to go back to how good you look in this video? If I had that skin, my ladylike self would say f*uck foundation and then wash my mouth out with soap later. Contrary to popular belief though, ladies are not always worried about their appearance, we are busy working on our plans for world domination, and cleaning the house and stuff.

11. No One Can Handle Your Dance Moves. What does this have to do with being a lady? Some people can dance, others can't -- that's it.

12. Walking in Heels Requires All Your Mental Effort. I'm going to let you into a secret that all the dress-wearing, pretty-purse-carrying ladies in lipstick don't want you to know -- heels hurt our feet too. That is the way heels were designed, to hurt.

I know this video is kind of funny, there are pieces of it that I can relate with too. Trust me, I've watched more than my share of YouTube videos about five minute updos and all I learned is this; I couldn't do an updo to save my life. The real issue I have with this video though is the divide it creates in women. We are not on two competing teams. It's not team yoga pants versus team dainty dresses, it's just women. We are all struggling; to accept our bodies, to move through life with confidence, and to carve a different path for our daughters than the one we had. Who cares if you are wearing steel toed boots or stilletos, as long as you are moving up in the world, and holding the door open for the women behind you -- I salute you for being a lady!