"Always state a strength as a weakness if you are asked about your weakness!" stated Shannon Iorio as she guided me through my mock interviews. "No one wants to hear about your weaknesses!" Shannon was my career mentor at Cornell University's business school, and she had just procured three investment banking job offers for me.
Incidentally, during my very first banking interview, my interviewer handed me a sheet of paper, which stated,
"Investment Banking is a business where thieves and pimps run freely on the corridors and the few good men die the death of a dog!"
In big, bold letters at the bottom it said, "THERE IS ALSO A NEGATIVE SIDE!" With a stern look, my interviewer asked me my first interview question, "Which one of the three are you?"
The message was written on the wall. I was walking into an environment where failure, weakness and honesty were treated as disease. The gravity of the challenge only became evident in the very first week of my new profession after I landed one of the offers Shannon had set up for me. The intensity of success-orientation, the sense of image consciousness, and the drive to be the best filled every nook and corner at work.
In that environment where every junior associate's performance is closely monitored and quickly labeled, I had my first major stumble. I was the only one in my class of 74 associates to fail my first major financial services examination -- the Series 7.
As I walked out of 100 Williams Street that evening, it was a sinking feeling. I waited until all my classmates had walked out -- not wanting to be with any of them. A deep sense of personal failure and the fear of being labeled as incompetent clouded my mind. I was extremely worried about losing the positive regard of my colleagues right at the start of new career.
I was thinking to myself, "I will just say I passed! No one will know anyways!" Determined to save my face at all cost and rationalizing it very well, I made the decision to "cook the books".
That evening, I spent time alone looking inside myself in a way that I never did before. There was an extreme uneasiness to sit and watch my feelings. For the first time, I encountered the fact that in my headlong rush to achieve, I had become a master at repression and a compulsive achievement machine.
I had so long invested in an image that I carefully preserved to convince others and myself about my capabilities. Behind an armor of achievements, I experienced the pain of my own vulnerability.
I realized that I lived in a culture that discouraged vulnerability. Vulnerability is usually associated with weakness -- something that I could be rejected or exploited for. In this culture, I have grossly and subtly ingested the notion that I should not have any weakness -- so much so that when I came in touch with my natural human limitations, it was painfully embarrassing. My idealized self-image was fractured. I realized that in the pursuit to keep the image alive I had invested in an image to gain positive acceptance from others.
As I entered the office the next morning, an excited bunch of associates and analysts were talking about the exam just next to my cubicle. One of the analysts, Matt Fiorello, asked, "How did it go, Ram?" I gathered all my courage and said that I failed. There was silence and I felt the pain run through every pore of my body.
Nobody knew what to say. A few consolations floated and the crowd dispersed. As I sat on my seat, I experienced a state of true grounding -- as if I had let go of a huge load. There was acceptance of my own vulnerability and a simple, lighthearted joy in that acceptance -- a relief that I did not have to live with an image.
Later that evening, Matt stopped by my desk. "I cannot believe you spoke the truth so easily", he said. "No excuses. I feel very inspired. Thank you for being so trustworthy". I was pleasantly surprised and grateful.
That evening, I experienced a deep sense of freedom. I realized how I had unconsciously become a prisoner of my own image. I realized that true personal development needs an honest and compassionate acknowledgment of our human limitations and a proper space to socialize them. We need to accept ourselves before others can accept us as we are. That acknowledgment can prove to be an invaluable guardian against the self-deception mechanisms of the ego.
Otherwise, we become desensitized to our authentic self and begin to package ourselves simply to attract favorable attention. "How do I come across?" becomes the name of the game. Even amongst "friends", it becomes difficult to take off the mask due to the fear of rejection.
The slick, smooth surface conceals the emotional neediness to be accepted as we are. In such a stifling environment, true personal development does not happen. We remain slaves of an image without grounding in who we truly are.
This very lesson is conveyed at the onset of the Bhagavad Gita, India's classic on yoga and spiritual wisdom, where prince Arjuna provides a remarkable example of vulnerability. Arjuna was a veteran of many battles and had never lost a single combat. His acts of prowess, courage and intelligence were world-famous. Yet, Arjuna faced a situation where he had to fight his own kinsmen.
His courage was tested and he broke down in front of his dear friend Krishna, expressing his distraught situation. In a matter of moments, Arjuna turned from a mighty warrior into a weakling, right in front of his opponents. In that exhibition of weakness, Arjuna exhibited great courage. It is that honest expression of weakness that set the stage for timeless wisdom to be spoken. Consequently, he received the strength and inspiration to confront his inner doubts and overcome them.
The same can happen in our lives if we take the courage to be vulnerable; when we learn to walk through the door of fear that has kept us prisoners to our idealized self-image. We can wake up to our authentic potential and experience the sense of freedom. It can also help us better understand and be compassionate to another's needs.
Gadadhara Pandit Dasa: Radha: The Feminine Nature of God
Yes, Arjuna was vulnerable but his perilous vulnerability combined with his higher nature led him on a quest for the truth.
BTW, some have mentioned The Legend of Bagger Vance - here is an interesting post on it http://everydaygeeta.blogspot.com/2010/12/legend-of-bagger-vance.html
Yet, even Arjuna forgets, though he has seen the svarupa. Arjuna becomes prideful as he battles. With one step off of Arjuna's chariot, Krishna reminds Arjuna that our ego keeps us from seeing even what we already know. How many times this has been true in my life! Alas, not enlightened, but certainly loved by Krishna. Hare Krishna!
hariaum
it feels like a battle but if you do battle with the ego it will win every time. the ego loves battles because it always wins those battles.
one must lose interest in the ego not do battle with it. the ego hates it when you lose interest in it. it will protest to the highest way it can. it will try and create on going drama. anything to get back in charge of your life.
I am not a fan of the gita for this reason. now all evil is due to one thing and one thing only. ignorance better defined as unawareness.
perfect awareness like perfect love overcomes all evil and fear. no unawareness no evil. find the origin of that unawareness and a whole new reality will evolve in one's consciousness.
of course if we were created with perfect awareness and perfect love there is no us, no drama, no self centered ego just isness that most call god.
now in religious terms: it is the necessity of god to create therefore imperfections that we see; god sees innocence. amazing is that not?
we owe our individualized soul to our unawareness, ie our imperfections. oneness must create within its infinite self. therefore unawareness is a necessity for god to express its dynamic potential.
one of the best kept secrets in the world. :-)
profoundly enlightened and contradictory comments.
"Which one of the three are you?" What is the best answer?
2. Mr. Subramanian states he failed the "the Series 7".
A Cornell grad can't pass "the Series 7" ?!
Did he eventually pass it?
Regardless of his philosophy, or rationalizations, passing the Series 7 is required for continued employment. Apparently, I've missed the point of this story.
I am thrilled at your response! Thank you! Please forgive my pragmatism.
1. The battle was between good and evil, and evil must not win.
2. His own identity (Krishna's, that is) as the divine.
My take was the authority of Krishna's divinity and Arjuna's love of Krishna propelled his decision to fight. I see Arjuna as noble, rather than weak or vulnerable. Noble in his decision not to fight and noble in his decision to fight. In the context of past battles Arjuna had nothing to prove about his courage.
For me, if Arjuna did not fight now, then he would have had to eventually because the forces of evil would have won and still needed to be stopped. Additional suffering would have occurred had Arjuna not fought.
Likewise, in his story had Ramnath given into the lie then more lying would have occurred until he stopped. In a very practical sense Ramnath and Arjuna were both moved beyond the immediate to the long term for the ultimate benefit of all involved.
Allen
P.S.: For a variation of the story in a more modern setting see the movie "The Legend of Bagger Vance".
Bagger Vance = Bhagavan, R Junnah = Arjuna
Also to read, "Gita on the Green" by Steven Rosen
You are very right!! The battle is within each and every person as they overcome all the trappings of the human state confounded by the illusory ego in innumerable modes and eventually achieve victory by reuniting and becoming one with God!!
Then, there is a disconnect... this is called "the fall" in certain traditions, but here it is seen as an imbalance, and to correct the imbalance there are Ayurveda and Yoga... no fuss, no big sky daddy etc.
The Rg Veda describes the movements towards imbalance and balance, and what is involved in each.
"If mind were the original form of consciousness, then illusion might be the source of the world. But the integral view (from the Vedas), is that ignorance is a limited form of knowledge."
http://collaboration.org/writings/dhutchinson/LifeDivineSummary.doc#_Toc60700148
The origin of our original ignorance is our original innocence. Turn original sin on its head and there you have moved one step beyond the Buddha’s origin of suffering.
Our original "imperfections" define us without them there is no us, just the infinite absoluteness of Isness.
All imperfections have one common attribute: unawareness. I.e. ignorance.
Enlightened Hinduism is the best I have found when compared to advanced spiritual teachings from those in these higher spiritual dimensions. ie other worlds or spheres.
From my point of view it is one step beyond Buddhism as the Buddhists stopped with the origin of suffering. Enlightened Hindu’s take on the origin of ignorance and the meaning of creation.
The origin of suffering, the origin of ignorance, and the meaning and purpose of creation is at the heart of understanding the involution and evolution of consciousness process.
Someone once said to me "people choose ignorance". This is true but that person refused to respond to the question. Why choose ignorance. The answer of course is self evident for any sincere seeker; i.e. only ignorance, a limited form of knowledge, would choose ignorance.
The author seems to have misunderstood the message of the Gita. Gita is not concerned about vulnerability. There is no need to take the courage to be vulnerable. One becomes vulnerable automatically as one deals with the blows of life. It takes courage to deal with such vulnerabilities.
Arjuna became weak when faced with the bloody reality of war. It is the message of the Gita that one should courageously overcome such weakness and vulnerability.
Repression of our feelings doesn't take courage at all it is pure fear that we hide who we really are and to overcome that we have to show ourselves as we truly are and that is what vulnerability is.
"O leader of men! That enlightened one who is unperturbed alike in pleasure and pain, whom these do not distress- he indeed is worthy of immortality."
One is being asked to be invulnerable and overcome one's weaknesses and vulnerabilities. There is no value in vulnerability at least according to the Gita.
As the sage said, "Religion poisons everything".
there is something deep going on with you that you may or may not be aware of.
I never have been a big fan of the gita but why the myth and superstition remarks? some people find the gita very helpful in their spiritual path. because you dont think you have a spiritual path does not mean it is not a reality.
religion does spoil spiritual teachings history has taught us that but that was not the sage's point that these teachings are all myth and superstitions. beside myths tend to have some truths to them.
there is some real doubts and fear in the essense of your remarks to make such strong statements and religion can be as much materialistic as what we normally think of as religious teachings.
"Since it is all too clear
It takes time to grasp it." -- Zen Saying.
one only has to look at a new born baby and see the divine in nature. but as the zen saying goes it takes time to grasp it. both materialistic beliefs and religious practices are just paths to a knowing beyond knowing.
You don't know me. You are therefore in no position to make such a ridiculous and arrogant statement regarding me.
You mention "spiritual" repeatedly. It is the most vapid word in the English language.
"there is some real doubts and fear in the essense of your remarks"
No, actually, there isn't. I'd almost say you'd have to be delusional to conclude that. Doubt and fear are two of the pinnacles of theistic religion and I'm free of those shackles.
"one only has to look at a new born baby and see the divine in nature"
Clearly, you're not a developmental biologist. Of course, to date, no evidence for anything divine has ever been found anywhere with regards to anything.
"knowing beyond knowing"
Empty gibberish.
BTW, I started practicing Zen in 1984. Got the burns on my arm to prove it. I don't need lessons from the likes of you.
Or the divine in one's head. Our experience of what's out there is never an accurate rendition of what's out there. It is all a creation of the brain immersed in the biological value of the image to the viewer. It is a mistake to assume that our experience is evidence of any quality "out there" without further examination.
There is a large gulf between "religion" and "faith." Religion is an attempt by a group to take religious teachings and apply a singular interpretation to them, to define what they mean. Faith is the act of taking religious teachings, absorbing them, questioning them, then using the resulting understanding to create a positive result. I say this as a reformed Catholic, one who rejects the Roman Catholic Church as the lone repository of the teachings and interpretation of Jesus Christ, who instead reads and interprets them myself. I find that, within every major religion, those who look beyond the system or mechanism of the religion, find actual faith, as opposed to "belief," which is simply the rote acknowledgement of what religious authorities teach. Anyone can believe; to have faith requires thought and reason.
There is a large gulf between "religion" and "faith."
As another sage said, "Faith is believing what you know ain't so."
"to have faith requires thought and reason."
To have thought and reason means you don't need faith.
Congratulations on getting things completely backwards though.
True power in life emerges from the willingness to be unattached or without need as you offer your authenticity, honesty and sincerity on your walk through life interacting with others. This power comes from the love that all of life naturally rewards one back for the courage and will to demonstrate this on a daily basis.
"As long as mind has not reached supreme quiet, it cannot act. Action caused by momentum is random action, not essential action. Therefore it is said that action influenced by things is human desire, while action uninfluenced by things is the action of Heaven. Desire is in considering things to exist, or being possessive toward things. This is thought that is out of place, action with an ulterior motive.
When not a single thought arises, then true mindfulness is born; this is pure attention. When the celestial potential is suddenly activated in the midst of silent trance, is this not spontaneous attention? This is what is meant by acting without striving."
Excerpt from The Secret of the Golden Flower, China; Translation: Thomas Cleary