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Your Start-Up Life: Should My Husband Take a Long-Distance Job Offer?

Posted: 04/12/2012 9:15 am

Thursdays at the Huffington Post, Rana Florida, CEO of The Creative Class Group, will share her conversations with entrepreneurs and thought leaders and answer readers' questions about work, life, relationships and more. Send your questions to rana@creativeclass.com.
My husband and I live in a suburb of Detroit. Like several others, he was laid off last year and has been job searching for months. It's been very stressful but he finally got a great offer in Chicago with more pay, a better position and excellent benefits. We have a family with small children in terrific public schools. The public schools in Chicago are not great and the private schools there are way out of our budget. I also have a job, which is close to home, pays well and gives me flexibility. We have a big support system of family and friends who care for the children and we don't know a single person in Chicago. He has until next week to accept the offer. Look forward to your speedy advice.

Jennifer

Northville, Michigan


Jennifer,

I can empathize with your husband's situation. You're right the neighborhoods and schools are terrific but the job market is bleak. I lived and worked in the suburbs of Detroit myself and spent years looking for a better job with higher pay. It wasn't until I expanded my search outside of Detroit into Chicago and Washington, DC that I began to recognize my value. I accepted an offer in DC making three times -- yes three times -- what I was making in Detroit, for similar duties. What was even more surprising was that once I arrived in DC, I began to receive multiple calls weekly from headhunters seeking my skill set.

The data doesn't lie. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, Detroit's unemployment rate is 10.2 per cent, compared to Chicago's 9.0 per cent. Recently, the U.S. Conference of Mayors and Global Insight released a report that projected Detroit's employment will not return to its peak pre-recession levels until after 2025. While not as strong as Dallas-Fort Worth, Washington, DC or Boston, which have already recovered the jobs they lost during the downturn, Chicago's economic outlook is a lot brighter than Detroit's and 2015 is the estimated date by which its lost jobs will be completely replaced.

Detroit and Chicago are about an hour apart by air, and there are multiple flights daily. According to the U.S. Census, your husband would be joining the ranks of about 10.4 million Americans, 7.5 per cent of the workforce, who have to travel 60 minutes or more each way to and from work. Just over three million Americans have commutes that are more than an hour and a half.


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Photo credit: Flickr user MAKIme Services GmbH

When you look at it that way, it's not such a big dilemma after all. It's time to grow up and do what's best for your family. Your husband should accept the offer.

Of course it wouldn't be practical for him to make the trip by air twice a day (unless he is earning a very high salary indeed). But assuming the job pays well enough to cover an efficiency apartment, he should accept the offer on the condition that his employer offers him a travel stipend instead of a relocation allowance, which most companies are prepared to do.

He should let them know that while he will be available and committed seven days a week, he will need some flexibility. Perhaps he can work Monday through Thursday in the office and spend Fridays and weekends in Detroit with you and the children.

He will get to know a new job market and the experience will make him more marketable. The separation will also put the flame back in your marriage. Chicago will be a great place for you and the kids to visit during school breaks.

Sounds like a win-win.

 

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09:26 PM on 04/12/2012
The answer could have been shortened to "duh".

On the other hand, I wish for a better economic system that doesn't do this to families. As they say, "only in America".
07:16 PM on 04/12/2012
That was really good advice. Detroit is going nowhere and she is more likely to find work in Chicago than he in Detroit if they stay. Also, I am curious about her comment that the public schools are bad. Chicago like any other large city has great public schools, it depends on where you live.
01:11 PM on 05/16/2012
If the concern is on schools, near-in suburbs like Oak Park and Evanston, etc. have pretty good schools if relocating the entire family is an option. It all depends on where the job is, and what sort of commute is entailed.
03:21 PM on 05/16/2012
It also matters where they can afford to live.  Any North Shore suburb has great schools and easy access to downtown on the train.
03:44 PM on 04/12/2012
1.Is yours a career or a job?
2.Can you live off what your Husband will be making while you find another job?
3.Which place has the most potential for the both of you?
I ask because I gave up my job to move for my spouse’s new job. I only had a job; it was not a career that had potential. We were able to live off what my spouse was making while I found a job that is actually a career now. Both of us have more potential where we are now then where we were. And yes I had to leave behind my entire family which was very difficult but it was the best move for “Us”.
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AZreb
equal-opportunity Independent heathen
12:55 PM on 04/12/2012
A couple who are very close friends of mine are government contractors. They have worked in cities thousands of miles apart on many occasions and have a wonderful partnership and marriage. They do not have children still at home, but even that should not be a problem if one or the other is in a stable place with support from other family members, friends and/or neighbors.

This is a "problem" that many others would love to have - both parents in good jobs, support for the one who will be the "stay in the stable place"-parent and opportunities that otherwise might be missed.
01:16 PM on 05/16/2012
Having children is a big issue and being childless is an advantage in this situation. I had to move to Portland, Oregon while my partner stayed in the Chicago area. There is a lot of flying involved (my job involves a lot of travel so that takes some of the financial sting out of it, I could spend three weekends in a row in Chicago and fly out of O'Hare during the week, saving my firm a lot of money that way!) but our work is interesting to each of us, so that fills our time. We discover new things by exploring Portland and the Oregon Coast when she comes out west, and we enjoy doing old things (or discovering new ones) in Chicago when I'm back. Thankfully, it works for us!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MRstoner2udude
I'm a human being? What about you?
11:14 AM on 04/12/2012
I hope this works out for this couple. It sounds like a good opportunity provided they pre plan some. He could also get a roomie with someone whose in the same position and share the cost of the apt.
01:23 PM on 05/16/2012
A lot of people commute from Portland, Oregon to Seattle (drive/fly) or Silicon Valley (fly) and are in roommate situations. Adult roommates sharing an apartment is quite common in New York City (Felix and Oscar were the Odd Couple for their mismatch in habits, not for being adult roommates).
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notdarkyet
End the Drug War.
10:18 AM on 04/12/2012
You are right in your last sentence. My husband and I had to live apart three times for over 9 months for work and school. It made us stronger and closer. My brother has been living 5 hours from his wife for the last year for a job. You do what you have to do. Good luck.