Infidelity is sadly rife in many marriages and relationships today, and with the consistent reports of cheating celebrities and sports stars, it's almost considered the norm.
Here are my top five tips to stop your husband straying:
1) Be aware of any changing dynamics in the relationship and make sure communication channels are open.
Are you growing apart? Has sex become infrequent or non-existent? Are you no longer physically attracted to your partner? Are you rejecting his advances? Is he rejecting yours? If you feel any of these things, your marriage is in the danger zone! Burying your head in the sand is not the way to deal with things. As long as you are aware and addressing issues as they arise, you should be able to keep your marriage on track. Always communicate in a positive, open way and be willing to compromise.
If he tries to address worries or concerns with the relationship, listen to him and don't get defensive -- otherwise he may not communicate in the future and just go and cheat.
The thing is that men are clumsy and they are not natural communicators like women, so cut him some slack and try not to take what he says literally. If he thinks you'll fly off the handle he won't bother again. Listen to him and try to find solutions for his concerns. That way he will be encouraged to communicate more often and will be less likely to cheat.
Communication is a two-way street and you both have to be open to it and encourage it -- not avoid it.
2) Don't forget the flirty little things that you can do even when the kids are home: little strokes, kisses, touches and squeezes.
These intimate gestures don't take a lot of time and effort but they are the things that you will notice couples in love doing. They help to keep the connection, which in turn will minimize the risk of him straying.
Men are visual so don't forget the teasing views you can give him; for example if he loves your breasts, try a low-cut top. Perhaps you're in the kitchen and need to bend down and happen to be wearing a short dressing gown or nightdress. Flirting should be fun and exciting. If his eyes are on you, then he won't be looking elsewhere!
3) If possible, be spontaneous with lovemaking and have fun exploring sexual fantasies and desires.
I do understand that it is difficult when you have children and busy lives, but if you can make things spontaneous when the moment arises it is priceless. He will be thinking about you at work and throughout his day. He's unlikely to be noticing other women when he has spontaneous sex. Instead of making excuses when the rare opportunity arises, just go for it! It will probably make you feel better too. After all, headaches are cured with a good orgasm, so it's not a valid excuse for avoiding sex. Spontaneous doesn't mean you have to make it about him; it's a huge turn on for men when you use their body for your own gratification.
Talk to your partner about his desires and fantasies and see if there's a way you are comfortable accommodating them in some capacity. Experiment with your own fantasies.
4) Be confident in who you are as a person and know your values. Don't allow yourself to be a push over. Demand respect.
Many guys cheat simply because they are allowed to. A serial cheat doesn't respect women and never will. I know people want to stay together for their children, but what sort of example is set when the kids see their mother accepting infidelity in the marriage? Even if you think you are hiding things well, children pick up on the vibes. They know whether they have parents that are a team or if they despise or just put up with each other. If it is the latter, they see that there is no affection. Think about how your actions and choices will affect their future relationships.
5) Make sure that you make quality time for just the two of you.
Having children doesn't mean that you should neglect your marriage; you both need to find time to work on your marriage and keep the connection. After all, your marriage is the foundation for your family -- your roots, so to speak.
Try to find a way to have some sort of date night at least once every couple of weeks -- a night where you get sitters or take the kids to stay with relatives and do something fun, relaxing or romantic just the two of you.
You both need quality time together and it's imperative that you find it somehow. Don't make excuses as to why you can't, because if you think you can't then you can't. Be the glass-half-full person, realize the importance and think, "how can I make time?" Then you will start to come up with solutions.
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