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Rebecca Harrington

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The 7 Guys You'll Date In College

Posted: 08/07/2012 9:43 am

Dating is tough. In the technological age, what even is it? Merely a series of tweets.

College dating, however, is a special kind of hell. What is going on with it? If someone asks you to go to an experimental comedy club, is it just tweeting or is it a serious relationship? If you are dating a guy who has a poster of a vodka bottle hanging over his bed, why? You can't even know anymore and that is the problem.

However, I feel that as the author of the book PENELOPE (out today! About a girl's very funny freshman year at college) and the college editor of the Huffington Post, I can give some advice on the shark tank that is the "college dating scene." So without further ado, the 7 guys you will date in college.

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  • The Political Guy

    "I'd love to get into politics," this guy will say, modestly, while you are just trying to talk to him about something else. You two might go to town halls together on dates and he might yell at your friends when they say something he disagrees with about education reform. Can you be a first lady? Try on some skirt suits and see what you think about it.

  • The Athletic Guy

    "Where are they?" is a common question I hear from women when referring to athletic guys. Sometimes they are playing in games and other times they are sleeping at home. You should try looking both places! Do you like sports? That's a question you should ask yourself because questions go both ways.

  • The Commitment-Phobe

    "Listen, I really like you. You are a super fun girl. And we have a great time. But I just can't be in anything right now. I'm too busy with all of my shows. I'm still getting over my ex-girlfriend. I'm not there yet. Let's be friends. Why don't you come over to my house at 2am for a fun hang out? You can't come? Why not? We are just going to talk" This can go on for years.

  • The Bro

    Do you enjoy going to a party where everyone is so drunk that they are falling over and no one is talking to you because you are a woman and that is too uncomfortable right now, because they are only falling-over drunk and not black-out drunk? I suggest you go out with a bro because this is a feeling you will be having often.

  • The Commitment-Freak

    Unlike the commitment-phobe I mentioned earlier, this is a man that wants to make a lasting promise another person. "Let's get married," he might say, on date two, while you are just trying to talk about education reform. "Don't worry, it will be fun!" Maybe it will, or maybe it won't. It's too early to tell is the point.

  • The Hipster Guy

    Sure, sometimes it's fun to talk about Jim Jarmusch movies, but not every day, and not all the time.

  • The Insecure Guy

    Nothing you can do can reassure this guy. Not even if you say to him, "Hey, I like you! I think you are great! Can we go on a date?" They still won't feel comfortable and will probably pretend to be busy that day. You can only make so many inroads with an insecure guy.

 

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Dating is tough. In the technological age, what even is it? Merely a series of tweets. College dating, however, is a special kind of hell. What is going on with it? If someone asks you to go to...
Dating is tough. In the technological age, what even is it? Merely a series of tweets. College dating, however, is a special kind of hell. What is going on with it? If someone asks you to go to...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MarcEdward
likes all cats more than most people
10:16 PM on 08/10/2012
Don't forget:
- abusive guy 
- passive aggressive needy guy
- The guy you thought would be the one who's a dud in bed
- Medical student you date for years, marry, and he ditches you for a nurse while you're pregnant with the 2nd child
- really great guy who turns out to be gay, after pursuing him for 2 years
- Guy who looks like he's really got it together but turns out to be a mama's boy
- "quiet guy" who turns out to have a fully equipped sex dungeon
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MarcEdward
likes all cats more than most people
08:32 PM on 08/10/2012
They forgot the "bi-curious experimentation", "art major guy", "touchy-feely professor", "Greek Mistake guy", "woke up hungover next to-guy", and "French or English Accent visiting student guy".
06:49 PM on 08/08/2012
which one did you end up with?
06:44 PM on 08/08/2012
OMG, just say it: every white chick dates the black guy in college
mira chancleta
C'mon, there's NO "La Tino" race
09:39 AM on 08/09/2012
and then goes to work for an all-white company with a "social conscience"... OMG
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Brianna Cole
Which one wins? The one you feed.
02:29 AM on 08/10/2012
I didn't. I didn't date anyone in college.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
BigWillyG
04:24 PM on 08/08/2012
The female CollegeHumor version of this was funnier.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6478387/the-six-girls-youll-date-in-college
05:33 PM on 08/10/2012
Ha! It was I also recommend the follow up "6 girls you'll meet at home" (or something similar to it).

Thanks XD
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
BigWillyG
05:58 PM on 08/10/2012
I remember that one. It was hilarious, especially the band geek who became hot and the weird stalker girl.
03:48 PM on 08/08/2012
I'm gonna have to go with this being an oversimplification of the dating scene in college. And like someone else said, "Very Heteronormative". As it is, it doesn't take into account that the "girl" in this scenario might be any or all of the above stereotypes herself. Bad Breakup?
10:01 AM on 08/08/2012
I wouldn't have publishes this article under a your real name, that's far too embarrassing.
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snickerdoodlecupcake
College sophomore living a 'My SoCal Life'
07:14 AM on 08/08/2012
During my freshman year, I had a brief encounter with a 'Bro', I won't be repeating that again. Next up was Mr Insecure, who was also Mr Commitment Freak, who after our fifth date started talking about getting an apartment together during our sophomore year this Fall. There wasn't a sixth date. Who knows what sophomore year will bring!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
hbrinn
10:59 PM on 08/07/2012
Very heteronormative
10:06 PM on 08/07/2012
I'm 1+7, funny enough. Though I'm actually a Poli Sci major with an interest in think tank work, so hopefully less of the stereotypical #1.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
09:19 AM on 08/08/2012
Your the guy who talks about himself. A lot.

He should be on the list--and avoided.
02:10 AM on 08/10/2012
A bit cruel, but very funny and probably true. Thanks for the laugh :D
09:49 PM on 08/07/2012
Ha! Joke's on you. I didn't date any of these losers! (I keed. I dated nobody.)
10:07 PM on 08/07/2012
Lucky you. haha, college dating is a nightmare. I'm glad I gave it up after year 1.
mira chancleta
C'mon, there's NO "La Tino" race
09:40 AM on 08/09/2012
So, how's that seminary working out for you bro'?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Patrick Sean Levi
Saying It Like It Is. Always.
09:18 PM on 08/07/2012
Why not just take responsibility for who YOU date and stop placing blame on the dates YOU choose?
CognitoErgoSum
CogitoErgoSum was taken when I signed up.
01:27 AM on 08/08/2012
The slide show was merely a catalog of archetypes of young men who barely know who THEY are at that point in life. It was not an implied judgment or the descriptions would've been really hostile.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Patrick Sean Levi
Saying It Like It Is. Always.
02:16 AM on 08/13/2012
I wasnt talking about the Slide Show. I was talking about taking personal responsibility for what you seek and choose in a date. It is your choice to NOT date losers. If you pick them don't moan about it and blame them.
08:45 PM on 08/07/2012
First guy I dated in college was 1,2, and 3 rolled into one guy. Glad I got that bit over with and only wasting about 6 weeks of my life.
mira chancleta
C'mon, there's NO "La Tino" race
10:54 AM on 08/08/2012
6 weeks?
Slow down girl and keep taking those birth control pills, enough kids on welfare in this country with no "daddies".
11:17 AM on 08/08/2012
Huh? Loads of assumptions on your part. I'm happily married now. 
08:44 PM on 08/07/2012
What about the "Funny Guy"?!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Stacey Jones
In the gutter but looking at the stars.
07:21 PM on 08/07/2012
I'm in college and I haven't dated anyone yet (thank you baby jesus) probably won't date anyone anyways. I enjoy my aloneness too much. Dreaming of Adam Brody or Henry Cavill is enough for me.
08:37 PM on 08/07/2012
I too, have not dated anyone yet and probably won't. Though I dream of John Cusack and Benedict Cumberbatch.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Stacey Jones
In the gutter but looking at the stars.
07:15 PM on 08/08/2012
Our dream boys.....One day our dreams will come true or at least I hope so.
mira chancleta
C'mon, there's NO "La Tino" race
10:55 AM on 08/08/2012
...i hope you're a "Film" major
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Stacey Jones
In the gutter but looking at the stars.
07:15 PM on 08/08/2012
Good guess I am! Poor for life!