I write as a member of the "menopausal militia," as the New York Times*, quoting NARAL's President, Nancy Keenan, characterized those of us "of a certain age" who have led America's decades-long fight for reproductive rights.
But, today, on this National Day of Action (to stop Stupak), I feel like I'm still 18, in the fall of 1968, gathering nickels, dimes and dollars for a friend to take the bus to Rapid City, South Dakota to get an (illegal) abortion.
On other recent days, I've felt like the newly married 23-year-old I was, living in Chicago the year abortion became legal, realizing that the fight was on, that I needed to make this fight a part of my life's work, for my personal sake.
But today, on this National Day of Action, though still a married woman living in Chicago, things are very different for me. Today, it doesn't matter to me, for me, whether abortion remains legal or not. It doesn't even matter to me for my immediate family: I don't have children or grandchildren. Even so, I know, with every bone in my body, that this is still a fight worth fighting.
So, it still feels like a day in1968. For if abortion becomes illegal again, or impossible to obtain in a conventional medical setting -- because the Stupak Amendment has become law -- it will be 1968 all over again. For sure, it will be 1968 all over again if America's young women don't wake up and realize that women's reproductive rights can only be secured by battling to secure this human right, the right to control one's own body.
In 1968, as we looked towards adulthood, we knew that the threshold determinant of women's equality is the capacity to control one's reproductive destiny. We recognized that, absent that capacity, the rest just isn't possible; nope, and hear me clearly on this one: none of it: not that cuddly family, not that nice home, not that non-sexist husband, not that good job, not the ability to choose when to have children, or how many to have, for the capacity to determine one's own reproductive life is what makes all the rest of this achievable.
So, yes, we've battled ever since, and in the process we've become a (menopausal) militia.
And because we have, we're here to tell you to stop talking about personal choice, as though it could be the basis of the strategy to win this fight (to stop Stupak) to keep abortion safe and legal. It isn't.
Time to leave the talk to the (male) academics, pollsters and journalists. And while you're at it, time to leave to the big time male executives at the big time ad agencies (they can waste their time) the business of proposing new taglines and "softer" messages: If you just try this one, mam, you're sure to get those middle-of-the-road moms on your side, as though selling a permanent commitment to women's reproductive choice were like selling perfume.
Listen to us, members of the menopausal militia. We know, from direct and repeated experience for decades, that there just isn't any "nice" way to convince politicians to keep abortion safe and legal. This one is "hard time," not in prison, but certainly in a war zone.
Time to get real --Â you (younger) women who are wishing it were otherwise: This fight is about your bodies, and who controls them.
Why in the world do you think that it was only women's reproductive health care that was exempted from a reasonable and comprehensive approach to providing Americans with access to health care? Was this just the luck-of-the-draw, just Congressional business as usual? Hell, no.
There have been numerous other issues facing Congress, on which the Blue Dogs said they'd hold out. But, when it came down to it, they didn't. Yet, when it came to legislation that would guarantee women's autonomy, they did, and then, to add insult to injury, they convinced others to join them in their war against American women.
Why were these Members of Congress able to do this? Because women's autonomy -- remember: it took women almost 150 years to get the right to vote in this country -- isn't what the men who (still) rule America want for us. Why? Because our gaining our autonomy is about their giving up their power.
If I cede the basic position from whence my power stems, in the case of a male legislator, who's being male, what might I have left?
Forget the catchy slogans and friendly messages. Forget the pretty pink websites. Forget the pollsters. Forget trying to make deals with legislators fundamentally unsympathetic to the cause of women's autonomy. Forget trying to make ever-so-reasonable arguments about reducing the cost of health care, or about the benefits of health care, if we just have reproductive coverage for those mothers who love their children just so much.
Instead, recognize that today's fight is a defining battle for American women.
Today, and on every day to come, be battle-ready: be prepared to tell your legislators they've crossed the line. In fact, tell them they need to step back. Tell them you will lie down on the steps of the Capitol, so they can't get in to vote; tell them you will picket the White House, so they can't meet with the president; tell them you will ruin their family's Christmas, and oh, by the way, while you're at it, remind them you birthed the children now going to Afghanistan to fight, and because you did, you know every child should be a loved and wanted child; most of all, tell them you know that the America your children now fight for, and die for, is one which should give you, their mothers, equal rights, in all matters, and, in case they don't get it, tell them that means the right to control your own body. Tell them nothing less will do.
Young women of America: Fail to understand this at your peril. Take this lesson from the menopausal militia to heart.
Young women of America: Today is a national day of action; so, act, and then prepare for many, many more days like this one. We'll be right there with you.
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If men could get pregnant, abortion would be considered an act of cowardice. Feminists have spent years declaring that women are strong and resilient, that they can do anything, except, of course, cope with an unplanned pregnancy. Once pregnant, all that strength and resiliency evaporates, and women turn into sniveling emotional wimps, and can only be rescued by abortionists.
If you can't handle an unplanned pregnancy, how will you cope with cancer? Job loss? Death of a loved one?
Abortions are for WIMPS. REAL WOMEN go the distance.
How ignorant to imagine a patriarchy would not take care of their interests.
I wish America could have a ONE TIME ONLY vote, only women of child bearing age can vote.
Each side pro and anti choice get 6 weeks to give their point of view before the vote, and who ever wins settles abortion Rights,....FOREVER.
I would wager the vote would be 80% pro-choice, even women who wouldn't choose abortion in their lives, WON'T decide for another woman's life.
My response to him.
That is very noble of you, and I do hope that you also oppose federal dollars to be spent on vasectomies as well as Viagra. Otherwise it would appear that your stance is gender specific. You of course then are oppose to federal monies for birth control and hysterectomies as well,if one is to follow your logic.I would like to ask, how many ovaries do you have? Why is it that males seem compelled to govern a female's body? And being as you are a believer in life, I trust that you have also voted against wars, conflicts etc. Continued....
These young women generally take the tack that because they believe most women are irresponsible (I suspect because they haven't lived long enough to be informed of the complexity by their friends and like to believe it could never happen to them because they are careful) they are all for punishing the rest (though they'd never call it that).
Just like divorce, where people say it happens too often because people won't make an effort, but support their friends and family because they know the details and know how hard people work to make marriage work, the lack of information and the desire to judge others plays a central role in the judgement of those who say "ok sometimes, not all, therefore something must be done by society."
There was also a loss of insurance in one case, which points to why I think pro-lifers should be more pro-national healthcare and I'm surprised that they generally aren't. Well, not surprised, as the perception that unwanted pregnancy is part of laziness travels well with the perception that not having health insurance is also a function of shiftlessness and irresponsibility.
I returned to college in 2007. I continue to be amazed at the ho-hum attitude of the young women claiming to care about choice today. They have no idea what those who came before them went through to get them to the point where they can just yawn in the face of the outright assault now be waged against them. Make no mistake; Roe-v-Wade is in the sights of the right wing, and they'll not rest until they've beaten it.
Our educational institutions are not only the seat of progress, they are sometimes the last bastion in the face of those reactionaries claiming the mantle of righteousness. Where is the vigilance?
That's what it's always been about. Power to control others. Ever notice how the major religions teach that women are the root of sin and that their sexuality is evil.
I lobbied in MN before Roe vs Wade (and won).
Abortion was never going to be an issue in my life as a gay man, or for many of my lesbian feminist friends either (barring rape.)
We were of a generation that believed when one group was oppressed, everyone was diminished.
GOD I miss those days
The destruction of these outdated stereotypes, helps both our causes.
We must continue the fight for the rights of all women. Do not cede this very important ground.
We had one cause in common, through Roe vs. Wade and Lawrence vs. Texas, the Right to privacy and autonomy over our own bodies.
KEEP YOUR FILTHY LAWS OFF OUR BODIES