THE BLOG

Learning to Love Yourself

05/13/2013 09:23 am ET | Updated Jul 13, 2013
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Anyone who knows me know I have a long (and checked) history with plastic surgery. But I was recently scheduled to have my final corrective surgery, and the very day before I found out my doctor couldn't medically clear me.

My first reaction was to scream, shout and pout, but as the day continued I received so many wonderful and inspirational prayers from so many of my childhood friends, as well as my VH1 family.

As I read each message, I couldn't help but notice they were the warmest of warm compliments -- and they all basically said there was a reason I wasn't cleared: Maybe God was telling me I'm pushing my health limits, maybe I wouldn't have been able to handle another surgery, maybe it wasn't the right time or maybe God was saying: Love Yourself. And I don't think it was until that moment that God was speaking to me out loud through my friends and family.

I'm the first one to say, "Go to the gym before you get on the table," and I'm the first to say, "Don't do as I do." But after repeating these things to myself and re-reading my text, I realized that I need to take my own advice and Stop, Look, Listen and LOVE MYSELF just the way I am. It's not what you look like on the outside, or what Hollywood, TV or society says (never believe the hype). It's about what you truly feel about yourself.

Self Love = Self Respect = Self Worth. And with all of those ingredients, your cake will rise to the top. So I've decided not to reschedule. My surgery is going to be to join the gym and work on myself without the help of a plastic surgeon, without the pain meds and without the self-pity. I hope someone really gets the message I'm trying to relay: It's a big step to take after being insecure but if you have faith, put your worries, doubts, fears and insecurity in the hands of a higher power. In return, you will be taught how to love yourself unconditionally all day, every day.

My new regiment is to say this every morning: I know God/ the Universe doesn't make mistakes and there is a great reason for me to have made it through the fire. I will love myself like God loves me.