So let me get this straight, we're suppose to believe a woman who can't cite one periodical or tell us if she's even read a self help breast exam pamphlet, has read the Constitution. Moreover, we're to believe this quasi journalism/communications major, who finally received a four year degree, after attending five community colleges, has greater sagacity about the interpretation of the constitution, than the authors? Gotcha! (Wink, Wink)
Gosh darnit, I'm thankful the founding fathers, those old guys who lived back when Alaska belong to Mexico said, hey guys lets be "allowing to the constitution much flexibility," so the vice president can have more power than the President, especially if it turns out to be a moose hunting, deer wrastling, filly, with a snappy turn of a cracker barrel phrase and guts prey without smearing her greasy lip gloss. To which I'm certain they all bellied up to the tavern bar, downed six tankers of ale, belched a hearty yip, yip,yap, yap, yop,yop,anyone who reads and believes this is a dope, dope.
All right folks, let's get real here, last night's performance by Ms. Palin was truly a testament to what happens when mediocrity meets obstinate ignorance. Good night nurse, is it me or does Ms. Palin have the demeanor of a roadside diner waitress named Trixie? I can just see her first audience with the Queen,"Hey Doll, whatcha got in dat bag? Got any Tums, I'm about to heave from all this elitist food, don't yall know nuttin' about no road kill pie?"
Where do I begin?
I'll begin with Ms. Palin's, Eve Carrington revelation that she wants more power than the current V.P. Note to John McCain, stand behind Cindy, who tends to favor those neon colored reflective outfits. That way there is one less excuse for Ms. Palin, when they inquire about the gun shot. I have no doubt that her marksmanship will be more accurate than her predecessor's, for the prize is much greater than a weasly lawyer, it's the Presidency.
Ms. Palin may not have won Miss Alaska, or received an honorable mention for her flute playing but the Baracuda will be doggoned if she aint gonna go to the lower 48 and show those political muckety mucks how a real politican gets things done, with a gun in one hand, six pack in the other and a baby at each breast. Pill baby pill! Take a pill baby! Take a pill! Ortho Novum.
Last night's debate was a study in the sublime and the patootyful. That's patooty full of do-do (That's folksy talk for you elitist pansy intellectuals). First there was Joe Biden, who was a sublime and exemplary advocate for his principle. He was sober, thoughtful, human, compassionate, articulate, cogent and Presidential. In fact, he should be coaching Obama before his debates.
Then there was Ms. Palin. (Long audible sigh) One can tell she was once a female jock, from the way she barreled into the hall. What did Don Imus call those female student basketball players? The sad aspect of Ms. Palin's performance is, because the bar was subterranean, all she had to do was stand upright to be judged exceeding expectations.
I'm not certain if she asked Sen. Biden, "Can I call ya Joe or can I getcha a cup o' Joe?" From the winkin', blinkin', nose scrunching, lip smacking I figured out she asked the latter. "You betcha, darn skippy, zippity dippity yeah, Joe Six pack and rippity pippity poo." Just when I was getting used to Bush's pig Latin, here come's Yukon Sara with Hillbilly bonics. I guess I owe my friend five dollars. I bet him the professional standards for the Presidency couldn't get any lower after Bush. Another reason to hate Ms. Palin, five bucks doesn't come easy these days, since "Deregulator" McCain.
I'm not going to go through the litany of inaccuracies and lies of Ms. Palin, I'll leave that to Keith Olberman and Rachel Maddow. I was struck by how smug and complacent she was about her ignorance. She parroted all her talking points from crib notes She was proud of her achievement of being able to limbo under the bar of just getting by. It's a sad statement when America purports to be the leader of the free world; yet, we have another dullard, a wink a way from the Presidency, who can't pronounce the word nuclear and has no idea what the heck Gwen Ifill was asking her.
I'm appalled that not once during her caricature of a good ole girl, who can shake, shimmy and fake her way to the top, did Ms. Palin demonstrate an ounce of empathy for people who weren't Joe six pack. There wasn't an iota of authenticity to her performance. It was canned corn, straight out of the bomb shelter supply kit. (Palin asked Biden's permission to call him Joe so she could say it in one of her canned lines, "Say it aint so Joe.")
More pathetic than sister Sarah's scenery chewing skit are all the apologist and enablers who pass themselves off as conservative pundits. "She was great, what a smile, what a feisty personality, she knows how to slice and dice these boys down to size." They jockey for face time in front of any camera lens, CNN, FOX, 7-11 Surveillance, anyone who will listen to their banal prattle about their narcissistic ambitious harpee.
There was one real moment of emotion and paternal pride last night, which didn't come from the "hockey mom" but the one time single dad. It came when Sen. Biden recalled when he lost his wife and daughter in a car accident and worried whether his sons would survive. It was very real and touching. What was Sister Sarah's response? Nothing. Yup, dats right folks. Nothing, nada, zip. She stood at her lectern with a plastered on cheesy smile and continued reading from her crib notes. Bush may not be the sharpest tack in the box but at least he has demonstrated compassion.
Last night Ms. Palin exhibited the depth of her lack of knowledge and curiosity about things outside of Wassila. Her automotron, halting speech and non blinking stare reveals a portrait which is more gruesome than Dorian Grey. Ms. Palin is a self centered, myopic, addle brained frighteningly dangerous dumb bell. The fact that there are people in this country who will vote for her because, "She's just like me," demonstrates that the Europeans and Bill Maher are right, Americans (at least Palin supporters) are morons.
One wink does not a competent candidate make. If Sister Sarah is successful in cutsey wootsing her way to the white house, then women's days of being judged on merit and intellect will be gone with the wind.