FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Boars Head delivery driver Bobby McPhee held a press conference outside his Stutsville Ohio home to announce that he had mistakenly watched a few minutes of CSPAN 3 and now "totally gets democracy."
"I was sitting in my lounger, you know, just screwing around with the clicker until Shipping Wars came on. All of a sudden, I see people screaming at each other about something called the 'Navigable Waterways Tax Extenders Authorization.' I was like, 'Dude, this is democracy in action!'"
McPhee continued watching a hearing of the House Transportation Subcommittee on Tunnels & Thruways, followed by book lecture on First Lady Ida McKinley, before falling into a deep slumber under a blanket of Doritos crumbs.
"All these years, I've skipped right over the CSPAN channels. I even called the cable service to bitch about having to pay for them when I'd rather get Velocity. Now I realize what I've literally been missing. The drama of Motions to Recommit, the thrill of Tabling the Ruling of the Chair."
McPhee disclosed that he was planning to record Prime Ministers Question Time, but is concerned that, "there may not be enough space on my DVR because of that Deadliest Catch marathon."
Based on his roughly twenty-three minute pre-nap exposure to how Congress operates, McPhee announced he would be running for Congress against long time incumbent David Joyce.
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