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Rev. Candace Chellew-Hodge

Rev. Candace Chellew-Hodge

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When is it Fair to Call Someone a Homophobe?

Posted: 01/21/11 04:57 PM ET

On my Facebook page, someone posted a question I've heard a million times before.

"Why is it that those who support gay rights are quick to label someone a 'homophobe' if the person is against homosexuality? The reason that I ask is that many people who I know are against homosexuality based on their understanding (or misunderstanding, as the debate goes) of scripture, rather than any animosity or hostility or fear (thus the 'homophobia' label) of those who are homosexual. So, it seems unfair to me for those people to be labeled 'homophobic' or accused of any hatred of or hostility toward those who are homosexual, if one simply disagrees with someone else's convictions."

People who are seeking to justify their anti-gay feelings often protest that they are not "homophobic" because they do not harbor any "animosity or hostility or fear" of gays and lesbians. Instead, they simply, sincerely believe that homosexuality is wrong and goes against God's will as they interpret it in the Bible. Thus, they assert, they cannot be labeled "homophobes."

Let me answer the question this way. There are people who sincerely believe -- and can find biblical justification for their belief -- that black people are inferior to white people. They hold no "animosity or hostility or fear" of black people (some of their best friends are black!), they just believe, and have scriptural "proof," that blacks are inferior. We still, however, do not hesitate to call them "racist."

Likewise, there are people who sincerely believe -- and can find biblical justification for their belief -- that women are inferior to men. They hold no "animosity or hostility or fear" of women (some of their best friends are women!), they just believe, and have scriptural "proof," that women are inferior. We still, however, do not hesitate to call them "misogynists."

Similarly, there are people who sincerely believe -- and can find biblical justification for their belief- - that Jews are inferior to Christians or other faiths. They hold no "animosity or hostility or fear" of Jews (some of their best friends are Jews!), they just believe, and have scriptural "proof," that Jews are inferior. We still, however, do not hesitate to call them "anti-Semites."

That's why I will call those who sincerely believe -- and can find biblical justification for their belief -- that gays and lesbians are inferior to heterosexuals "homophobes." Even if they hold no "animosity or hostility or fear" of gays and lesbians or have gay people as best friends, they remain homophobes.

I don't find that label unfair because, while they may personally profess to have no "fear" of homosexuals or homosexuality, their insistence that homosexuality is somehow "wrong" or "sinful" contributes to the atmosphere of fear that gays and lesbians must live in. Their "convictions" create a social phobia of gays and lesbians.

Even Martin Luther King Jr. knew that some of the most virulent racists were not the ones on the street with clubs and fire hoses. Instead, they were the "nice" people who truly had no fear of black people, they just didn't understand why blacks needed to make such a big deal out of their position in society. King was not afraid to call them on their passive bigotry and how it contributed to the overall fear of black people.

Just as Jesus called his opponents a "brood of vipers," we, too, must call out those who seek to shroud their bigotry in the language of "compassion." No matter how "compassionate" or "well-meaning" those who "disagree" with homosexuality may be, their ongoing condemnation of homosexuality (and yes, by "disagreeing" they are "condemning") only fosters more fear and hatred. You cannot create fear with your convictions and then try to divorce yourself from that fear.

This is why I contend that there is no "other side" to the gay and lesbian issue. There are gays and lesbians, and then there are those who erroneously believe that being gay or lesbian is "wrong" or "sinful" -- just as there are those who know the earth is round and those who stubbornly refuse to give up the belief that it is flat. Just because someone holds an opposite belief about something doesn't mean we have to coddle them and let them believe their "conviction" is valid when it isn't.

Those who "compassionately" insist on the "sinfulness" of homosexuality are on the wrong side of history. Martin Luther King Jr. said that "the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice." It has taken many decades for gays and lesbians to get that moral arc to begin to bend toward justice for our community, but it is happening. A Gallup poll last year showed that, for the first time, 52 percent of Americans believed that homosexuality was "morally acceptable." Forty-two percent of Protestants believe that, along with 62 percent of Catholics. Other polls show the nation fairly evenly split on the issue of marriage equality. What is telling, however, is that young people are most supportive of LGBT rights.

The moral arc is moving in the direction of justice for LGBT people. It is not a matter of if, but when. Homophobes who continue to spread fear because of their sincere conviction that homosexuality is wrong will soon find themselves in the same historical dustbin as racists, misogynists and anti-Semites.

 
 
 

Follow Rev. Candace Chellew-Hodge on Twitter: www.twitter.com/revtheodyke

 
 
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05:22 PM on 02/01/2011
My boss doesn't believe in gay marriage. He says it's just not natural. Does this make him homophobic?
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the crustybastard
I could be worse, and have been.
06:02 PM on 02/04/2011
I suppose your boss thinks it's perfectly "natural" for convicted spousal abusers and child molesters to marry — if they're heterosexual.

None of the sanctimonious "marriage defenders" are trying to amend state and federal constitutions to disqualify from marriage people who are known to beat and rape partners and kids, are they? Nope, just gay people.

Your boss's position is that EVERY straight person deserves access to special legal status and benefits that NO gay person can ever merit.

So yeah, that's textbook homophobia.
05:53 PM on 01/25/2011
I think anyone who is against homosexuality is a homophobe, and it is fair to label them as such. A person who is anti-gay can't usually come to terms with it enough to befriend a gay person.
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MacmanDe
05:27 AM on 01/25/2011
Excellent blog...
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
TheWM
aka The Wrong Monkey
03:46 PM on 01/24/2011
"When is it Fair to Call Someone a Homophobe?"

Whenever someone thinks that there is something wrong with homosexuality. It's as simple as that.
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
dancingstu
Christian, liberal lawyer
02:03 PM on 01/24/2011
I appreciate the author's argument as to why "homophobe" is a proper term because of the effect that these attitudes can have on society at large, but I think a more accurate term may still be in order. 
 
Racism may create a fear of a certain racial group in society at large, but we don't describe racist actions or statements in terms of a phobia.
 
Furthermore, describing negative attitudes towards homosexuals in terms of a "phobia" is misplaced where there is a conscious choice to hate or not hate, as opposed to a true phobia which is an uncontrollable fear.
 
There simply needs to be a new name for the phenomenon of hatred based on sexual orientation, because the anti-gay attitudes are based on hatred far more than fear.
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Angel1999
Microbiologist & Historian
03:44 PM on 01/24/2011
But we call rabies hydrophobia, even though "fear of water" doesn't exactly describe it. There may be a better word, but words often change their meanings with time, acquiring new meanings or extra meanings. As long as everyone understands what is being communicated then it doesn't matter all that much.
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dancingstu
Christian, liberal lawyer
04:19 PM on 01/24/2011
Thank you.  Your comment got me thinking, and I even felt compelled to find out why rabies is also called hydrophobia:  "The name hydrophobia comes from the fact that animals and people with rabies get spasms in their throat muscles that are so painful that they cannot eat or drink, and so will refuse water in spite of being very thirsty."
 
I do understand that language can evolve over time, but describing an attitude in terms of a phobia has clear implications of fear.  Even the author felt the need to explain how homophobia relates to fear; I simply found the explanation too tenuous.
 
I would prefer a term that more clearly describes these people as being hateful, rather than the more passive implication that they are simply fearful of homosexuals.  A different choice of label could drive this point home better.
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Douglas Campbell
02:49 AM on 01/26/2011
We call people who don't like Jewish people, anti-semites yet the term is not 100% accurate either. So?
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dancingstu
Christian, liberal lawyer
01:17 PM on 01/26/2011
So perhaps we should call it anti-Judaism to be more precise.  The fact remains that "anti-" expresses the hostility towards a group.  Can you imagine how ridiculous it would be to label it "Judeophobia" instead?  You'd be picturing people fleeing at the sight of a yamulke.
12:21 PM on 01/24/2011
Forgive me for [long] quoting West Wing, but I find the below helpful in navigating 'Bible-based' homophobia from family:

Jacobs: "I don't say homosexuality is an abomination Mr. President. The Bible does."
Bartlet: "Yes it does. Leviticus-"
Jacobs: "18:22."
Bartlet: "Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I had you here. I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She's a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? [silence in the room] While thinking about that can I ask another? My chief-of-staff, Leo McGarry, insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it okay to call the police?
Here's one that's really important, 'cause we've got a lot of sports fans in this town. Touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean, Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side-by-side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you."
DrSnuggles
You label me and I'll label you
09:48 AM on 01/24/2011
"This is why I contend that there is no "other side" to the gay and lesbian issue. There are gays and lesbians, and then there are those who erroneously believe that being gay or lesbian is "wrong" or "sinful""

No mention of people that are not gay or lesbian but fully support LGBT rights?
05:49 AM on 01/24/2011
I dislike and disagree with the way a lot of Christians, Jews and Muslims live and what they believe is right. I disagree with the fact that they don't disregard their scriptures that blatantly state that homosexuality is as bad as adultery and murder. Does that make me a 'Christo,Islam,Judah-phobe'?
I think not. In a world of multiculturalism and religious tolerance why is it OK to label people something because how you live doesn't go along with what they believe in.
C'mon people. We either have religious freedom or we don't. Sure, it sucks that there are people out there who still read and believe in what the Bible, Torah & Koran, says. But saying someone has a phobia because they choose to adhere to their belief is just dumb.
And for those who hate you because of who you are, then do you think that calling them names & hating them back achieves anything?

Love the haters, educate the ignorant and die knowing that no matter how much you were hurt, you never meant hurt anyone.
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Angel1999
Microbiologist & Historian
01:52 PM on 01/24/2011
It's not because they adhere to their beliefs, but because they try to enact their beliefs into law. The term homophobia here is not intended to indicate a "fear", although they may be afraid. This term has evolved to reflect the direction of these peoples bigotry. If they choose to believe that I am an abomination, then there is nothing I can do about that. They are free to believe it and preach it to each other in their Church. They are even free to proselytize and try to convince others of this. However, once they make laws that prohibit our existence or punish us for living our lives, then they have crossed the line.
03:48 PM on 01/24/2011
For what it is worth, there are many of us who are Christians who are appalled at the so-called evangelical "Christians" who are trying to legislate their own morality upon others, in a pluralist society. As Christians, scripture makes it clear that our kingdom is not of this world and thus for "Christians" to try to legislate their own religious beliefs upon others with different convictions goes against everything that I believe in. I have friends of many faiths, and many who are atheists and agnostics, and I have no need or desire to try to conform their beliefs to my own. Nor do I see it as necessary or appropriate to try to dictate through laws what others should believe, and force my own interpretations of scriptures upon them. America is NOT a Christian nation, nor are we a theocracy. Those who believe that we are and are campaigning to change America's legal system to fit their own "kingdom" have missed the point of the life of Christ, and scripture.
01:14 AM on 01/25/2011
Angel1999........that is so ridiculous. No one is making laws that prohibit your existence, and no one is punishing you for living your lives. That is absurd! Why would you write something like that? People disagree with your lifestyle just as they might also disagree with heterosexuals living together and/or having sex outside of marriage. Just because the sexual revolution of the 60's promoted "free love", it doesn't mean that the constant push to change societal norms is right. It just means that activists are punishing people who still believe in old fashioned morals.

It wasn't that long ago that a man and woman living together was called "shacking up", and the woman was considered to be trashy for living in sin. Who decided that people who believe that way are wrong and hateful? You? By what authority? What gives you the right to judge people who stand on morals you would rather not be reminded of? By what right do homosexuals trample on other people's rights with name-calling and hateful accusations? Live and let live...........the other side has a right to stand on moral ground, and militant homosexuals need to stop trying to force their agenda on them by trying to marginalize them and punish them for "hate speech" and all that other nonsense.
09:59 AM on 01/23/2011
OK-so now we have labeled them. How does that affect our actions, and theirs? If labeling people as homophobes ends up encourages others to sympathize with their views, labeling is counterproductive. If it encourages people who agree with us to mistreat them, labeling is again counterproductive.

Take out the labeling from your discussion, and I think you have made good points. Unfortunately, many people will ignore the discussion, and fixate on the label.
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LintLass
"When you can balance a tackhammer on your head...
12:25 PM on 01/23/2011
Blaming people who point out the problem *for* the problem is just the kind of denial that really means society really has to *take* a square-on look at its own homophobia, rather than saying, 'No, homophobes are someone else, I think I'm being quite reasonable and holy when I treat you as less of a human,'

While it's not always helpful to say 'You are a homophobe,' this is also something people who seem pretty darn obsessed with 'disagreeing with LGBT people' and doing things to harm and suppress us will use to claim, 'We're the victims here, if we can't make you second-class citizens.'
07:55 AM on 01/23/2011
This may surprise some. I am a Gay male from the UK. I can understand what is being said by the Rev. Like the UK America has Gay Rights Groups, like Stonewall and their Diversity Champions List. Which basically if an Organization pays £2000 UK pound they are named the Best Gay Friendly Organization B&B, hotel etc. Once you pay to be on that list if complaint after complaint comes into Stonewall of homophobia in a Listed Oranization, you will be ignored.

However, if the Organization has not paid to get on the List Stonewall and others seeking financial gain will accuse them of homophobia. Therefore, homophobia to a lot of Gay Rights Campaign Groups Comes down to how much you are willing to pay. When Christians are being accused of homophobia I as a Gay Male who is agnostic see Stonewall and its ilk as being a Gay Maffia.
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LintLass
"When you can balance a tackhammer on your head...
11:57 AM on 01/23/2011
Whoever that organization you're accusing of things is, it doesn't make anyone less a homophobe.

Pretty much the only way to 'disagree with homosexuality' without being bigoted is to.. Not practice it yourself if you think that pleases your God or whatever.

The notion that any straight person or any Christian gets to judge any LGBT person in the first place pretty much requires they consider their opinion worth more than the real lives and dignity of others, (Even if they deign to claim they're 'compassionately-tolerant of those poor inferior inherently-choosing-to-be-sinful beings,' they still act as though an LGBT person's life is theirs to pronounce judgment on. )
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freddychef
what the heck is this??????????
01:01 AM on 01/23/2011
was it just me, or was this article really hard to follow?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
cwebster
predominantly exasperated
05:08 PM on 01/23/2011
just you
08:09 AM on 01/24/2011
I know what you mean. Some long, long sentences--our 21st-century eyes are trained to process shorter, punchier constructions.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
hwjone
09:43 PM on 01/22/2011
I recently posted the following observation on the following article "Pope: Not Everyone Has Right To Marry"::

“Okay, let me get this straight. The Catholic Church is going to decide who can and who cannot get married. If this is the case, how fae will it be before the Catholic Church decides someone can get married, but not to who they want to marry, but who the Church wants them to marry. So how much is the Catholic Church going to charge to arrange marriages?”


An individual reponded:

Uh, last I checked the Catholic Church as a right to marry people or to withhold the SACRAMENT of marriage. What, do you think you can "force" the Catholic Church and clergy to perform gay marriages? And your "fans" just take the cake!

Perhaps we may call this individual a homophobe, because no where in my post did I mention Gay marriage or homosexuality. Yet this individual obviouly lept to the conclusion that this was what was meant.

For the record: My personal belief is that it is unconstitutional to bestow legal distinctions (e.g. IRS filing status) on anyone based on their participation in a religious ceremony.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
hwjone
09:49 PM on 01/22/2011
I also believe that it would be unconstitutional to attempt to force a religious group to perform any activity which it felt violated its core beliefs.
TryToBeFlexible
MENSA, Gay, Atheist, Believer in justice
09:52 AM on 01/23/2011
Hmm so if you religion says you should not let your children get medical help when they have a serious illness, injury, or disease (like Christian Scientists) then no one should force these parents to perform any activity that violates their core beliefs, and should just let the kids die? Or if your core beliefs include stoning someone to death, then nothing should force you to perform the activity of refraining from stoning someone to death, once you decide to? So, basically, you are an extremist religious fanatic?
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LintLass
"When you can balance a tackhammer on your head...
02:47 PM on 01/23/2011
The thing is, homophobes often deceptively and repeatedly claim that any civil rights for LGBT people would mean that, even if the civil rights laws in question explicitly (and redundantly) protect from just that.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Eric Mann
Do you want to be on the opposite side of Progress
11:35 AM on 01/23/2011
Marriage is not just a religious ceremony though, it is a last vestage of some sort of connection between church and state. The priest (or rabbi, or minister) is vested with civic power simply because of his/her status as an ordained cleric by whatever religion. Me personally, I have the same power because I have been vested with power by the Universalist Life Church. Don't worry though, the two weddings I've performed have been strictly Humanistic. Anyway, this civic power is also vested in judges (and mayors too). This will not get any better until we fully divorce civic power from religious power. Yes, that will mean you have to have a judge or someone sign your marriage license. Deal with it.
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WheelsOnFire
Fiercely Independent
12:53 PM on 01/23/2011
The powers to wed are already fully divorced.

What we have is overlapping jurisdictions, with some, but not all, religious groups claiming sole ownership over that power.

Fact is, atheists get married. Thus ends any and all religious claims to marriage.
05:57 PM on 01/22/2011
One's faith telling them that homosexual acts are a sin do not make them a homophobe.
That's a given.
Each and every single person has the right to their faith and the trappings that go with it.

Yes, it's your (the hypothetical you, as opposed to you the author) rite to believe that homosexuality is a sin. The moment that you attempt to pass legislation based on your faith that limit the basic rights and dignities of another person, you move from "following your faith" to "being a bigot". And in this case, the bigotry comes in the form of homophobia.
02:05 AM on 01/23/2011
I just believe that homosexuality is a deficit, no god required. It's bad for you and bad for society
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DavidEm
Post tenebras lux.
07:44 AM on 01/23/2011
Au contraire, contrarian.

If it's bad for you, it's because a large segment of the population's animosity has made it bad for you.
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LintLass
"When you can balance a tackhammer on your head...
12:06 PM on 01/23/2011
'Just believing' doesn't make you actually 'superior' in that way,

Just means you *think* you are.

Nothing but people 'Just believing' that actually indicates that homosexuality is bad for society in any way. Homophobia, however, is *obviously* bad for everyone, whether they 'just believe' *you* or not.
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DavidEm
Post tenebras lux.
07:41 AM on 01/23/2011
Good point, and I think the word "trappings" is an excellent choice.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ninetailedfox
banning people.....so childish
05:00 PM on 01/22/2011
Except the christians that believe everyone should be christian that is.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ninetailedfox
banning people.....so childish
04:51 PM on 01/22/2011
Considering most christians are not accepting of gays, I wouldnt be surprised if most of the LGBT, found alternate paths of spirituality, such as Buddhism, Paganism, and even Atheism. After all, nobody said you have to believe in Jesus, no matter what your sexual orientation
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LintLass
"When you can balance a tackhammer on your head...
12:07 PM on 01/23/2011
Being LGBT is not *why* I'm Pagan, but Lady sure did make a lot of things easier about it in the process. ;)
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WheelsOnFire
Fiercely Independent
01:04 PM on 01/23/2011
There are increasing numbers of Christian denominations that accept gays, bless gay unions, and even perform gay marriages.

So, there's a rift within Christianity on this issue.
04:37 PM on 01/23/2011
Only a small minority of Christian denominations perform G&L marriages. The UU's are not properly considered Christian, not because of their pro-gay or political views but because they deny the divinity of Christ and the Incarnation.