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Rev. Debra Haffner

Rev. Debra Haffner

Posted: January 21, 2010 12:38 PM

John Edwards: You Did Know About Contraception, Didn't You?

What's Your Reaction:

It's not that we didn't suspect that John Edwards was the father all along.

Still, it's disappointing to have it confirmed. Disappointing that he steadfastly lied to his wife and to the media that the child wasn't his. More disappointing that he asked an aide to pretend he had fathered the child instead of Edwards. Crushing, really, that his promise as a public leader has been eclipsed by his poor judgment, lack of moral character, and deceit.

And fascinating to imagine how it was that Mr. Edwards and his partner didn't use contraception. Surely, as two highly educated, middle-aged adults, they knew they should be protecting themselves against unwanted pregnancy.

Earlier this month I wrote about the mock horror over Peter Orszag, President Obama's budget director, having sex, and a child, outside of marriage. I heard from a number of colleagues who said I wasn't adamant enough about the need for a national campaign to reduce out-of-wedlock births. They asked if I had forgotten that the research demonstrates that children born with two parents who are married to each other have better outcomes.

But those data are heavily influenced by age and income. Children of teenage and poor mothers do grow up at a disadvantage, but I don't believe that children born to middle-aged adults with the resources to care for them necessarily suffer just because the parents are unmarried. (The gender of the parents doesn't appear to matter much, either.) Marriage at the time of birth is no guarantee that a child will grow up with two parents; the high rate of divorce leaves more than half of American children in single-parent homes by the time they are 18. I have counseled dozens of women and men in their mid to late 30s who have not found a life partner but know they want biological children. I often encourage them to consider becoming a single parent.

Although I might not support a national campaign to reduce out-of-wedlock births, for more than 30 years I have devoted my time and energies to assuring that every child born into the world is planned, loved, and cared for. That starts with healthy sexual decision making and contraception.

Half of all births in America are unplanned - half. Mr. Edwards and Mr. Orszag join more than a million men each year who end up as fathers to children they didn't intend to have. Teenage contraceptive use is at its highest level ever, while adults -- even well-educated, middle- and upper-income adults -- continue to have unplanned pregnancies and births.

In the midst of the cacophony on Capitol Hill over abortion in health care reform, surely everyone can agree that because life and parenthood are so precious, they should never be created carelessly. Especially by prominent politicians.

 

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It's not that we didn't suspect that John Edwards was the father all along. Still, it's disappointing to have it confirmed. Disappointing that he steadfastly lied to his wife and to the media that t...
It's not that we didn't suspect that John Edwards was the father all along. Still, it's disappointing to have it confirmed. Disappointing that he steadfastly lied to his wife and to the media that t...
 
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01:27 PM on 02/04/2010
Reverend-
I must differ with you on the statement of describing both of them as highly educated. Lisa Jo's(aka Rielle as she calls herself now)is not highly educated. it is known she dropped out of college during her junior year. There is no record of transcript­s that show she has a degree of anykind. Her level of education was questioned when others questioned how LIsa Jo(RIelle) obtained the position as John's videograph­er. As far as for LIsa Jo's John, it goes to show that if you are an individual with an advanced degree, it certainly doesnt mean you have good judgement and character to know right from wrong. John is part of the minority group of educated inviduals that have shown poor judgement and irresponsi­bility.
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chloe4455
boo hoo hoo
05:51 PM on 01/22/2010
he's a creep, his wife needs to divorce him quickly.
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02:48 PM on 01/22/2010
Orszag's situation is very different from John Edwards affair. By all accounts, the mother of Orszag's child became pregrant when they were in a committed relationsh­ip and intended to marry. Obviously things didn't work out that way but that is a world of difference from John Edwards' recklessne­ss as a married man who, at least theoretica­lly, could have put his wife's life in further danger with an STD.
12:47 PM on 01/22/2010
Excellent point, my fellow UU. Every child should be planned for and wanted. Among the other things I'm disgusted with Edwards for regarding this, is the fact that he couldn't even be bothered to be responsibl­e and ethical enough, not to mention politicall­y smart enough, to USE CONTRACEPT­ION. I'm very disappoint­ed in him, and concerned about my usually keen radar about people. I had thought he was one of the good guys, chock full of integrity. But I was wrong. ANYWAY: people, if you want to have sex but don't want to risk the possibilit­y of a child resulting from same, please USE CONTRACEPT­ION.
11:00 AM on 01/22/2010
Well put, Rev. Haffner.
For much more on unplanned pregnancy check out this report: http://www­.thenation­alcampaign­.org/fogzo­ne/ based on a first-of-i­ts-kind survey of young adults and their attitudes/­behavior regarding sex, love, contracept­ion and pregnancy.
7 in 10 pregnancie­s to unmarried women in their 20s are unplanned (!!) and this fascinatin­g data gets at some of the reasons why.
justobserve
Not left nor right or center. Just a free thinker!
09:23 AM on 01/22/2010
You missed the point: Hunter wanted a child with Edwards; otherwise she is just a one night stand for him. What is better than to secure a long life with a multimilli­onaire than having his child?
08:52 AM on 01/22/2010
I guess he never heard the phrase "just say no"! lol
10:02 PM on 01/21/2010
Wow, someone who actually thinks that the man is just as responsibl­e as the woman. Finally.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
EbonBear
opinionated hairy man
08:00 PM on 01/21/2010
Over here (the UK), the conservati­ve government was plagued with similar problems during the late eighties through to the mid-nineti­es and even then, I always wondered if these guys had ever heard of rubbers.
06:01 PM on 01/21/2010
She, the mistress, knew exactly what she was doing.
She's got a nice money supply now.
And maybe more. ugh.
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Kathleen Kelly
attorney, progressive Democrat
06:24 PM on 01/21/2010
This implies that HE somehow didn't know what he was doing. The "poor, tricked, innocent guy" defense doesn't hold water for John Edwards or anyone else. Certainly he knew how to use a condom. Unprotecte­d sex = unplanned babies.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
EbonBear
opinionated hairy man
07:58 PM on 01/21/2010
The only innocent person in this mess is the baby.
12:36 AM on 01/22/2010
And condoms are also one of the least effective birth control methods available. If you're really serious about not getting pregnant, there are much more reliable options. Condoms are the method of choice for prevention of STD's, not pregnancy.
05:33 PM on 01/21/2010
"I often encourage them to consider becoming a single parent."

I hope you mean by that statement, the ado.ption process.
05:32 PM on 01/21/2010
"I often encourage them to consider becoming a single parent."

I hope you mean by that statement, the adoption process.
05:31 PM on 01/21/2010
I think you're missing a majorcateg­ory here... woman who intentiona­lly get pregnant without telling their mate. I suspect Ms. Hunter knew exactly what she was doing.
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Anne Johnson
Fairly Unbalanced
06:27 PM on 01/21/2010
Takes two to tango. If a man doesn't want to risk creating a baby, then he should wear a condom and not just trust the woman if she says she's using bc. $15.00 box of condoms is a lot cheaper than thousands of dollars in child support.
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08:45 PM on 01/21/2010
A MAJOR issue is getting lost here.

Edwards attended school which taught abstinence only - you think that doesn't have something to do with this unwanted child? Or for that matter his failure to push for an abortion?

Like many things, this problem goes back to policies promulgate­d by the right and Bush administra­tion.
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Kathleen Kelly
attorney, progressive Democrat
06:28 PM on 01/21/2010
Once again, condoms anyone? Men need to take equal responsibi­lity when it comes to unprotecte­d sex and stop blaming the foreseeabl­e results on conniving women who somehow tricked them. Not only is it sexist, but it makes men look like dumb, whiny babies.
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10:32 PM on 01/21/2010
Well said. Do you really know if she actually is on birth control or not?? No, even if she says she is. You can't just trust other people.
04:25 PM on 01/21/2010
"Crushing, really, that his promise as a public leader has been eclipsed by his poor judgment, lack of moral character, and deceit." ? I think that we are lucky that his poor judgment, lack of moral character, and deceit were discovered BEFORE he became a public leader. Part of the societal problems that we have are centered around the lack of a committed relationsh­ip for children to be secure in their upbringing­. Let's get back to a legal commitment (marriage) that stays together before we work on creating children..­.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
tabaqui
One of those weirdo hippy-dippy types.
05:13 PM on 01/21/2010
This, exactly. Sheesh. This guy *has* no morals, or judgment it seems. I'm grateful he was found out sooner rather than later.
06:32 PM on 01/21/2010
"Let's get back to a legal commitment (marriage) that stays together before we work on creating children" ... Well meaning, but naive. Marriage is no guarantee that a child will have a good home. And, as Rev. Haffner pointed out, with half of all marriages ending in divorce, there's no assurance that children will be raised by two parents. Before we talk about what external form our families "ought to" take (as in "Mommy, Daddy and kids") let's work on their content -- on families being loving and healthy, regardless of how many adults are present, which genders those parents are, or even whether they've signed a marriage license. Let's teach young people how to form fulfilling relationsh­ips, and the responsibi­lities which come with parenting. And let's remember that children are not just shaped by their immediate families, but by entire communitie­s -- so let's work on our communitie­s as a whole as well.