The recent rash of suicides among young gay youths cannot fail to move the Christian heart, or indeed any heart capable of compassion. While any suicide is a terrible tragedy, the suicide of a young person who feels that his or her life will never change, and who moves towards despair as a result of constant bullying and harassment, is especially poignant.
Many of the gays and lesbians, young and old, who have spoken about this in the last few days have pointed to how wounded they have felt by their churches and by other religious organizations. The Christian community must find a way to reach out more compassionately to gay and lesbian youths, help them feel welcome and valued, and help them know that they are beloved by God -- and by us. We must lead, as we do with any group, and as Jesus did, first with welcome, not condemnation. For my part, here is a prayer I composed for all who feel excluded, rejected, marginalized, shamed or made fun of, in any way or in any place, religious or otherwise:
"A Prayer When I Feel Hated"
Loving God, you made me who I am.
I praise you and I love you, for I am wonderfully made,
in your own image.
But when people make fun of me,
I feel hurt and embarrassed and even ashamed.
So please God, help me remember my own goodness,
which lies in you.
Help me remember my dignity,
which you gave me when I was conceived.
Help me remember that I can live a life of love.
Because you created my heart.
Be with me when people make fun of me,
and help me to respond how you would want me to,
in a love that respects other, but also respects me.
Help me find friends who love me for who I am.
Help me, most of all, to be a loving person.
And God, help me remember that Jesus loves me.
For he was seen as an outcast, too.
He was misunderstood, too.
He was beaten and spat upon.
Jesus understands me, and loves me with a special love,
because of the way you made me.
And when I am feeling lonely,
help me remember that Jesus welcomed everyone as a friend.
Jesus reminded everyone that God loved them.
And Jesus encouraged everyone to embrace their dignity,
even when others were blind to that dignity.
Jesus loved everyone with the love that you gave him.
And he loves me, too.
One more thing, God:
Help me remember that nothing is impossible with you,
that you have a way of making things better,
that you can find a way of love for me,
even if I can't see it right now.
Help me remember all these things in the heart you created,
loving God. Amen.
James Martin, SJ, is a Jesuit priest and the author of The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything and My Life with the Saints.
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning Teen Suicide ...
YouTube - Sarah Silverman's Message To America, On Gay Suicide
Gay Bullying, Suicide Link - CBS News Video
Glee Cast: Let's Tackle Gay Suicide Right Now - E! Online
Tyler Clementi, Other Gay Suicide Victims Remembered At New York ...
I'm not religious, someone said that to me when I was a teen, and it's funny I've never forgotten it.
http://www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbetterproject#p/f/57/d9y1NP0Fuik
How 'bout this prayer:
"Dear God,
Why do you place these bullies' free will above my well-being? If you can harden Pharoah's heart, then you can certainly soften these boys' hearts.
I need you right now, God. . . .God? Hello? Are you there, God? God?
You placed a bet with Satan over that character, Job. Is this what is going on right now? I need some direction, God. . .God? Hello? Are you there?
Anyway, he lost everything and was made to suffer. You took away his well-being AND his free will. I'm not asking for that regarding these bullies. Just, well, just something that let's me know you are there and are looking out for me.
God? Are you there? Hello?"
+++++++
i am certainly not "made in god's image", don't have that godlike
appendage ! Where is the part of the 'prayer' which tells females
that we are "made in the image of the goddess" ? Where is this
'goddess' in your religion, anyway ? (It's assuredly not Mary, she
doesn't even begin to have any equity with your 'god'.)
Isn't she capable of answering them herself ?
The default deity in all the monotheistic religions is definitely MALE.
“Dear all,
There are serious efforts by Catholics and Protestant to fight homophobia of their own churches.
http://www.allsaints-pas.org/about/major-life-events/
http://catholicsforequality.org/ (Catholics for Equality)
- pico”
Besides, if the abuse is leading to self-destruction, the kids are already seriously blaming themselves for it at least on some level. Better perhaps to call on the Queen of Battles and learn about proportionate response, yourself, before it gets to the level of 'Someone's gotta be struck down, here.' Spirit's got more notes to play than 'Someone's gotta die,' until someone either explodes or implodes. Unfortunately, certain views of religion get kind of binary like that.
Don't even teach that you can fight back, before it gets to that point.
Kind of one of the more satisfying moments of my childhood, actually, was being encircled by a bunch of bullies and their cheering section, and saying, "So be it. At least two people are going to the hospital tonight, and I can only be one of them." Changed the tone of things, thereafter. Maybe not the circumstance. But the tone.
The bad part about it is the big picture message the church sends overall, towards gays, which troubled gay teens think there is something wrong with them, when there is NOTHING wrong with them.
I think that is the message the church needs to send, otherwise in a couple weeks, after this dies down, we go back to business as usual, which is not simply not acceptable anymore.
These churches need to focus on what they teach about LGBT kids and those who are 'accused' of being such. They need to focus on the fact that when horrible abuses or these drivings to despair and other social problems happen because of *their* homophobic teachings, that when parents think it's their need and duty to try and force kids to be something they aren't, that it's not just about saying, 'Well, I disapprove of what I call your personal sin, but even you can kneel and pray... Just don't ask the people who are supposed to be the adults to stop these things from being done to you. And saying these things about you.'
Let's not forget the role of families in this, either: supportive and gay-accepting families are *the* biggest factor in kids being able to survive. When the churches make of families terrified oppressors, too, the odds of a good outcome in life go *way* down.
When supportive families aren't *marginalized and ignored: if they can actually *help,* the prognosis gets even better. When the law and government aren't spouting the hate and perpetuating the injustice with dehumanizing talk in what's supposed to be a land of freedom and equality, well, then, more better.
It's one thing about Christian religion: it tends to believe it cannot possibly become poison, no matter how much of a nightmare it has made of someone's life: it in fact counts on being able to see only 'sins' and expect the people persecuted as 'sinners' and 'subhuman in the eyes of this God' and 'You, at fault for that man tortured to death on a pole in the front of the church,' ...You can't 'absolve' that experience away, especially while the abuse and justifications for such go on. Are even intensified, as the churches are doing, saying, 'You killing yourselves over how we treat you only means we're right to treat you badly, sinner!'
Sometimes, what gets you through is simply not believing any of that in the first place.
I was lucky. I had *actual* spiritual experiences that said whatever they were pushing *wasn't* the shape of the universe or the relative value of my life or soul or a good reason for *any* of it.
It doesn't change the situation, or make how you're treated not hurt, but it can mean you can be more proactive about it. Plan escape.