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Rev. James Martin, S.J.

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Between Heaven And Mirth: Can You Laugh With God?

Posted: 10/04/11 03:13 PM ET

One of the best ways of thinking about our relationship with God is as a close personal relationship or an intimate friendship. It's not a perfect analogy, but thinking about our relationship to God as paralleling a human relationship can be quite helpful.

Like any relationship, for example, our relationship with God often starts with infatuation (as when everything about the spiritual life seems easy and wonderful), it goes through exciting times (when prayer and worship are satisfying) and sometimes dry periods (when your spiritual life seems at a standstill). Like any friendship, your relationship with God requires the ability to devote time, it requires a willingness to listen, it requires a tolerance for silence and it requires a desire for real honesty. All the things that you say about friendship you can say, by analogy, about prayer.

Obviously, a relationship with God isn't exactly the same as a relationship with a friend. None of our friends have created the world out of nothing. (Though some act as if they had!) But thinking about our relationship to God in these terms can help to show us where our spiritual life might be lacking.

For example, would you say that you were a good friend if you never spent time with your friends? Or if you never listened to them? If you were never honest with them? Yet sometimes people approach their relationship with God in those ways. Again, the metaphor of friendship with God can help us see our spiritual life in a fresh way.

In that light, our relationship with God -- like any relationship -- can use some humor from time to time. That is, it's okay to be playful with God and accept that God might want to be playful with you. But does the idea of a humorous or playful God have any antecedents?

Rabbi Burton Visotzky, professor of Midrash and interreligious studies at the Jewish Theological Seminary in New York, noted that while the Hebrew Bible often shows a stern God, the tradition of a playful and loving God is also part of the Jewish tradition. "In a fifth-century Midrash in Israel," said Rabbi Visotzky, "the rabbis tell the story of God braiding Eve's hair in the Garden of Eden, like one who would help a bride. It is a charming and playful image of a loving God."

Once, when she was travelling to one of her convents, St. Teresa of Ávila was knocked off her donkey and fell into the mud, injuring her leg. "Lord," she said, "you couldn't have picked a worse time for this to happen. Why would you let this happen?" And the response in prayer that she heard was, "That is how I treat my friends."Teresa answered, "And that is why you have so few of them!"

This story, one of the most well known about St. Teresa, is often told as a way of demonstrating the abundant humor of the saint. But it shows something else: her playful way of addressing God. Moreover, it shows her assumption of God's playfulness with her.

The Book of Isaiah says, "The LORD delights in you." (Is. 52:4) One of my spiritual directors used to quote that constantly, whenever I would tell him something wonderful or unexpected that happened to me. "The Lord takes delight in you, Jim!" he would say.

What a strange thing that was to hear! Previously, I had imagined God creating me, caring for me, maybe even taking an interest in my life, but certainly not delighting in me. But why not? Doesn't a parent delight in a child?

So a few questions to consider:
Can you allow yourself to think of God as playful?
Can you allow God to be playful with you?
Can you imagine a God who enters into a lighthearted relationship with you?
Can you allow yourself to think that the wonderful or funny or unexpected things that surprise you are signs of God being playful with you?

Think about this in a slightly different way: Can you imagine God not simply loving you, but as the British theologian James Alison often challenges his readers to imagine, liking you?

We've heard the phrase "God loves you" so often that it becomes a platitude -- like wallpaper that we cease to notice once we've plastered it in our room. We think, "Well, of course God loves me. That's just what God does."

But thinking about God liking us is quite different. That has a different energy around it. Surprising. Lighthearted. Personal.

Here's another question: How do you show that you like a friend? Well, maybe you tell your friend outright. Or maybe you do something generous for him. You also may be playful with your friend. So can you let yourself think that the funny things that happen to you are signs of God's love, but God's like?

Another way of looking at this: One of the oldest images of God is as a parent. Jesus refers to God as his father, and even calls him "Abba," a sort of affectionate Aramaic term, used even today in some parts of the Middle East, that may be fairly translated as "Daddy."

The traditional image of God as parent doesn't suit everyone (particularly those from abusive or severely dysfunctional families) but it can still be helpful as one image among many. When you could imagine God as parent you can imagine the best of all possible parents.

Using the metaphor of God as parent, then, you might ask yourself, "Doesn't a parent sometimes enjoy being playful with a child?" When you see a father throwing his child up in the air, or a mother tickling her baby, you can see a human sign of this loving playfulness.

God is the One who delights in your own sense of humor and who surprises you with life's funny moments. And in life's surprising and unexpected moments may found signs of God's delight in your life.

Excerpted from James Martin, S.J.'s new book "Between Heaven and Mirth: Why Joy, Humor and Laughter are at the Heart of the Spiritual Life" (HarperOne).

 
 
 
One of the best ways of thinking about our relationship with God is as a close personal relationship or an intimate friendship. It's not a perfect analogy, but thinking about our relationship to God a...
One of the best ways of thinking about our relationship with God is as a close personal relationship or an intimate friendship. It's not a perfect analogy, but thinking about our relationship to God a...
 
 
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Norge
Rolf K. Artist, worker of metal, writer of poems
08:17 AM on 10/09/2011
Presenting ones' own subjective life experience about ones' own omnipotent God is a freedom larger and larger numbers can indeed be thankfull for and I ask only that those who do so do not justify
death and distruction in the name of their own omnipotent God.
Death and distruction is strictly human behavior as no God in the cosmos would waste its' time with such activity. At least that is what the last one told me-:)

And may their God have mercy on their souls.
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hayness
A wise man proportions his belief to the evidence
12:39 AM on 10/08/2011
This is the kind of mind-boggling tripe that one would expect from someone who has lived a life of ease in a land of plenty.

Tell this to the children in Darfur and Somalia.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ManuOB1
A voice crying in the wilderness
08:23 PM on 10/08/2011
You are aware that Fr. Martin did work with East African refugees in Nairobi in the 1990s, right?
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roy brophy
Dyslexic F. O. "Sorry!"
10:35 PM on 10/13/2011
You are aware that Fr. Martin defended child raping Priests and their Bishops for almost 2 years here on HofPo? are you aware his Order was forced to pay $5 Million for child rape of Alaskan Children? Right?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Neil20
11:36 AM on 10/05/2011
When you say laugh with God you've brought him down to a human level. God in the true sense is a spiritual entity beyond our limited understanding. We think that God is as humorous and witty like any one of us.In fact that is the way we wish God to be. God is a vastly spiritual entity beyond our comprehension. Perhaps an article like this only makes the reader a bit comfortable thinking about a humorous God. Yes, we need humor in our lives but why bring God into it? If we are spiritual God's peace descends on us and we continue with life - including the joys and sorrows, the laughter and tears, the happy and the unhappy moments and so on. Is God responsible for everything that happens in our day to day living including the funny moments? Then why is there so much misery and cruelty on this planet earth? If we delve into this cruelty, misery, death and destruction deeply God will not have the time to be humorous. Neither will we. So let us not deceive ourselves into believing that God is a God of mirth and laughter.
11:43 AM on 10/05/2011
Regarding the responsibility of God for adversity, I humbly and respectfully submit http://blogspotthinker.blogspot.com/2011/09/accusations-against-god.html and welcome your thoughts.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
way2sunny
12:32 PM on 10/05/2011
I humbly and respectfully submit to you that your constant pleading for blog comments has been annoying for me to have to keep skipping past.
11:46 AM on 10/05/2011
Hyphens, if inserted into the URLs, might alter the URL and cause “Page Not Found” errors. Comparing the pasted URL with the original might reveal such occurrences. If the blog still does not launch, trying at a later point might achieve better results.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Bill J4321
10:56 AM on 10/05/2011
I can't laugh with god, but I surely do laugh at him.
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bbriani3842
400+ yrs of science & STILL no evidence for a god
07:38 AM on 10/09/2011
beat me to it
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josie klapper
Who can I piss-off today?
10:21 AM on 10/05/2011
G%d most definitely delights in us, it's just s/he/it has one SICK sense of humor... (Depeche Mode, Blasphemous Rumors.)
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Ekimus
08:25 AM on 10/05/2011
This article is truly a "thumbs up Jesus" moment. See the movie 'Dogma' for the reference;)
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Jelle NL
Unity in Diversity
07:03 AM on 10/05/2011
Maybe "joy, humor and laughter are at the heart of the spiritual life". Yet during centuries of religious art, you seldom encounter a smiling Jesus, Mary or saint. What went wrong?
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Redhunteur
If I damn yer POV will u turn the other cheek?
07:21 AM on 10/05/2011
Well, obviously they weren't TRUE christians (tm)!
11:55 AM on 10/05/2011
Without claiming authoritative knowledge, I humbly and respectfully suggest that there appears to be a major difference between God and the way that humans present God. This apparent difference appears to be reasonably considered to represent appropriate basis for James 1:5-8.

I welcome your thoughts.
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Jelle NL
Unity in Diversity
01:37 PM on 10/06/2011
Yes, you are right. I too believe that there is "a major difference between God and the way that humans present God". If we indeed are creatures, then the relation to our Creator is like that of a painting to the artist. How can "The Girl with the Pearl Earring" say something remotely meaningful about Jan Vermeer :)
researcher
researcher
01:45 AM on 10/05/2011
if you want to laugh with god go look into a mirror and there you will find an expression of that infinite god you either worship or deny. scary thought is it not.

nothing exists outside of infinite and you can call infinite anything you want. anything you call infinite will be limited and most likely just plain unawareness.

our perception of infinite is like an ant on an ant hill being able to know the size of the earth it resides upon. even that analogy falls short of our knowledge of the infinite.
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roy brophy
Dyslexic F. O. "Sorry!"
12:18 AM on 10/05/2011
Father Martin;
In your first few years on HofPo you defended child raping Priests and the Bishops that enabled them.
Even when your own Order, the Jesuits, where found guity of years of abuse to Native American children you continuied to minimise the horrors your Church inflicted on what Jesus called "The least of these".

you have never apoligised for your defence of child rapests, so how can you ask us to follow you?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
season555
Allaah knows best
09:12 PM on 10/04/2011
and people think we are boring...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2giCIL7TGk
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Feurio
Religion poisons everything
08:32 PM on 10/04/2011
No

He is n/a
08:26 PM on 10/04/2011
I loved the story about St. Teresa! :)

I've never doubted that God enjoys both the giving and receiving of laughter as well as love. Thank you, Father Martin.
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robert horwitz
06:57 PM on 10/04/2011
Can you laugh with God? Possibly but how would you even know? In either case I wouldn't recommend including this in your job resume.
researcher
researcher
10:01 PM on 10/04/2011
cute bought a smile to my face.

but then who knows depends on what job you are applying for.
06:45 PM on 10/04/2011
laugh? we can kill with god as long as we're on his side. laughing is probably alright.
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galanos1
Reality & Life Is Less Then A Second Away
07:07 PM on 10/04/2011
And what kind of god allows to you to do that!
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
09:04 PM on 10/04/2011
Every god man has created.
Thanks for playing.
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galanos1
Reality & Life Is Less Then A Second Away
11:44 AM on 10/05/2011
The unbeliever’s knowledge reveals a degree of dualism; they separate the body and psychic parts of a person from the spiritual part. The true image of God can be found only in the Spiritual part of a person, through redemptive and knowledge (gnosis). In the eyes of the unbelievers the body is a prison in which the Spiritual seed is incarcerated. The Spiritual man tears himself loose from his shackle and the soul, and travels to where he belongs, into a divine sphere.
06:31 PM on 10/04/2011
One thing I could count on is that there'd be people with no sense of humor who would try to turn this post into an argument about the existence of God.
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galanos1
Reality & Life Is Less Then A Second Away
06:38 PM on 10/04/2011
The only people that do that is the ones that don't believe we can laugh with God
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Ekimus
08:22 AM on 10/05/2011
Don't you think that if you're laughing with someone, it's reasonable to know that the other person is in fact real?