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Rev. Jay Emerson Johnson, Ph.D.

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Homos for the Holidays: A Religion Survival Guide

Posted: 12/20/11 05:41 PM ET

Your daughter and her new girlfriend have joined you and your extended family for a holiday feast. You're thrilled that they agreed to come. But your favorite uncle apparently didn't get the memo about how great it would be to have a lesbian couple sitting at the table. Somewhere between the hors d'oeuvres and main course, he starts grumbling about how "crimes against nature" and "abominations" are ruining his holiday.

Do you: a) fake a migraine and escape to your bedroom for two hours; b) switch the topic to politics, which would surely be easier to talk about than this; or c) adopt a non-anxious, self-confident posture as you calmly explain why God has no problem with your daughter's relationship and neither should anyone else?

I imagine most people would like to choose option "C," but far too few feel sufficiently prepared to do it. I don't recommend delivering a lecture on this topic over dinner. But if you're worried about entertaining homos for the holidays, here's a brief religion survival guide that can help soothe the family conversations. Just imagine chatting with your beloved uncle over eggnog. Whenever he makes one of the following claims (as he likely will), just respond calmly and lovingly in return, like this:

Uncle Claim #1: The Bible clearly condemns homosexuality.

Your Calm Response: Lots of people think exactly the same thing! But did you know that most biblical scholars agree that biblical writers never addressed gay and lesbian relationships as we know them today? The word "homosexuality" wasn't even invented until the late 19th century. Biblical writers cared much more about guarding against idolatry and condemning social and economic injustice than worrying about who fell in love with whom. Want to talk about year-end bonuses for Wall Street moguls?

Uncle Claim #2: But wait, God destroyed Sodom because of all that gay sex, right?

Your Calm Response: Actually, in the story of Sodom in Genesis 19, all the men of Sodom attempt to gang-rape some foreign visitors. As in rape cases today, this act is not about sexuality but about violence, power, and the hatred of strangers. All the references to this story in the rest of the Hebrew Bible (the Christian Old Testament) confirm that the "sin" of Sodom was hatred of foreigners, pride, and abuse of the poor. No sexual "sin" is mentioned in any of these later references to the story of Sodom's destruction. You know, biblical writers would probably urge us to discuss U.S. immigration policy if we're going to talk about "sodomy."

Uncle Claim #3: Well, OK. Still, the Bible clearly supports heterosexual marriage as the ideal.

Your Calm Response: I used to think so, too! But did you know that the primary form of marriage in the Hebrew Bible is polygamy, with the prize going to King Solomon, who was said to have 700 wives and 300 concubines? I was really surprised to realize that in the New Testament, both Jesus and Paul were unmarried and childless and seemed to recommend that everyone else follow their example (the best thing Paul could think to say about marriage is that it cures lust; take a look at 1 Corinthians 7). Actually, we could talk about the amazing biblical stories of same-sex devotion concerning Jonathan and David or Ruth and Naomi!

Uncle Claim #4: Then why did God create Adam and Eve, you know, rather than Adam and Steve?

Your Calm Response: Have you met Steve? He's fabulous... OK, just kidding. But think about this: the biblical creation stories in Genesis never mention same-sex relationships of any kind. The purpose of those stories is to show that God is the creator of everything that exists -- don't you think that this would include people who have a sexual orientation towards others of the same sex? And think about the creation story in Genesis 2. That chapter seems to say that the explicit purpose of creating sexual partners is not for the procreation of children but instead for the relief of loneliness. Same-sex relationships fulfill that purpose of creation as well as different-sex relationships do -- just look at your grand-niece! Doesn't she seem happy with her girlfriend?

Uncle Claim #5: Of course she does! But the Church won't accept her relationship!

Your Calm Response: You know what? Lots of churches will! And you know what else? The Church has never really figured out what to say about marriage. Way back in the first few centuries of Christianity, the Church actually elevated celibacy as the spiritual ideal, not marriage. Only in the medieval world and especially in the Protestant Reformation during the 16th century did Christians start to talk about marriage as a significant Christian vocation. Today, lots of churches recognize same-sex relationships as a blessing just like heterosexual couples are. But right now, dear uncle, don't you think the most important thing is to make my daughter and her girlfriend feel welcome here, in our family?

Your holiday conversation probably won't go exactly like that. But here's the most important thing: religion is supposed to draw us together, create community, and deepen our love for one another. You love your uncle, and you love your lesbian daughter. Religion should never force you to choose between them. That's the good news of religion this holiday season: God loves LGBT people just as much as your beloved uncle. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

 
 
 
Your daughter and her new girlfriend have joined you and your extended family for a holiday feast. You're thrilled that they agreed to come. But your favorite uncle apparently didn't get the memo abou...
Your daughter and her new girlfriend have joined you and your extended family for a holiday feast. You're thrilled that they agreed to come. But your favorite uncle apparently didn't get the memo abou...
 
 
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04:28 PM on 12/23/2011
When I was young, we used to have holiday get-togethers with an aunt and uncle. Their daughter brought a girl friend from college. I have no idea at what point Uncle Bill figured that out. Long before Fox and Co. infected us with domestic war.
01:56 PM on 12/23/2011
For me, the most powerful part of this article is the last paragraph where it says:

"But here's the most important thing: religion is supposed to draw us together, create community, and deepen our love for one another. You love your uncle, and you love your lesbian daughter. Religion should never force you to choose between them. That's the good news of religion this holiday season: God loves LGBT people just as much as your beloved uncle. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

That sums it all up, right there. And that love is unconditional, and loves in spite of, not because of -- because of Who He is, not because of who we are.
10:40 AM on 12/23/2011
Isaiah 5:20
New Living Translation (NLT)

20 What sorrow for those who say
that evil is good and good is evil,
that dark is light and light is dark,
that bitter is sweet and sweet is bitter.
12:46 PM on 12/23/2011
I'm not sure if your post is for or against the topic at hand, it is quite ambiguous.
04:11 PM on 12/23/2011
The point could well be taken to mean, sorrow for families for whom society has changed that much in one or two generations. From the "greatest generation" to the hippies was the biggie, that we are still digesting.
07:59 AM on 12/23/2011
Paul was a man of his time.
10:21 PM on 12/22/2011
Rev. Jay Emerson Johnson:

Thank you for a well-written article of an such important topic. Your article was very much like the Bible Study we had in our church to prepare us to becoming an open and welcoming congregation.

As a seminary graduate, I found your interpretation of the Scriptures both Hebrew and Christian to be quite accurate. Unfortunately too many people interpret some passages and situations in the Bible as related to today, taking them out of context and without knowledge, background, etc.

Thanks again. Blessings,
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John Backman
11:52 AM on 12/22/2011
Magnificent article. Thank you for posting it.
10:39 AM on 12/22/2011
To quote the great, now sadly late, Christopher Hitchens - "that which is asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence".

Trying to use the Bible as evidence on either side of the argument is rather like using the film Pearl Harbour as an historical documentary on America's involvement in WW2.

Just sayin'.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Andre Fabre
Seth speaks, and I listen...
08:45 AM on 12/22/2011
In my house, if someone does not like one of the attendees, he or she is more than welcomed to leave the premises. My house, my rules.
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Julia Bailey
11:14 AM on 12/22/2011
I thought most houses were like that. One of my elderly relatives told my sister (who was hosting) that they weren't comfortable with my nephews gay friend and date (the friend has been part of the family forever). So my sister said 'let me know if you don't want me to pick you up for the next family gathering'.
You can be a bigot all you want. At home alone.
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07:05 AM on 12/22/2011
You can't fix stupid.
But you can escort stupid to the door.
This is my home. You are entitled to your opinions. I cannot stop you from believing whatever you wish to believe.
And I do not need to provide you food and comfort as you spew your bile.
See ya!
09:38 PM on 12/21/2011
One of the reasons I I'm not a Christian anymore and do not belong to any religion.
01:27 AM on 12/22/2011
Being a free thinker is becoming more common every day.
09:23 PM on 12/21/2011
Just another story about how scared the masses are of each other... sad very sad..
09:20 PM on 12/21/2011
Every part of this article is lying about what the bible says about Homosexuality.

Just thought people aught to know.
01:26 AM on 12/22/2011
just thought people ought to know to learn things about things.
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07:06 AM on 12/22/2011
That's why I don't invest my time mistaking mythology for fact.
Thanks for playing!
06:17 PM on 12/21/2011
"Do you: a) b) or c)"

None of the above. A wise host or hostess does not let the situation arise. We're talking FAMILY dinner here, you already know who is comfortable and who is not with alternative lifestyles.

So d) you don't invite one or the other. Either you invite the uncle that does not like homosexuality or you don't invite the lesbians; or you just don't have an extended family dinner.

In years past, the same sorts of issues were whether to invite a Mormon to a Catholic or Baptist family dinner (or vice versa), southerner's to a dinner in Chicago (or vice versa).

The fact is, the more people you invite, the more conflict is likely to happen.

If everyone present is *tolerant* of differences while not necessarily accepting them, it can make for interesting conversation. But in my experience, homosexuals *require* more than mere tolerance; if I do not subscribe wholeheartedly to their way of thinking then I'm "homophobic" and that's pretty much the end of that. No attempt is made to *persuade* me. It's all or nothing.

So, yeah, in this modern age I think somewhat fewer family dinners where everyone is invited is likely to be the case.
12:28 AM on 12/22/2011
anyone who isn't hurting anybody is really just after acceptance, and that is a step above mere tolerance i'm afraid.
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lacrosselamore
My micro-bio is half full.
04:51 PM on 12/22/2011
In my experience heterosexual christians require more than tollerence. The require me to remain a second class citizen with fewer rights than convicted serial killers who are, ironically, allowed to marrry. And I am supposed to be quiet and accept my seciond class status. Sorry Phobe, ain't gonna happen.
01:31 PM on 12/26/2011
"In my experience heterosexu­al christians require more than tollerence­. "

Precisely. Thus, the family dinner is doomed. Christians vary considerably in how willing they are to be at table with immorality; the one being discussed is "intolerant". Homosexuals tend also to be very demanding, demanding full acceptance with no more tolerance of non-acceptance than is being shown by the Christian in this story.

Thus, it is not possible to have peace and have both the Christian and the Homoseuxal at the same table at the same time. One of these three elements cannot be present -- you can discard "peace" and have the Christian and the Homosexual be present, or you can keep peace and discard either the Christian or the Homosexual.
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Talossa
Not all liberals are silly.
05:16 PM on 12/21/2011
The abomination is when people ignore Jesus' own words: "Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’"

If you claim rights for yourself, you have to give them to your Gay neighbor. End of story.
07:57 PM on 12/21/2011
The Christian isn't saying "I can be gay, but you can't" so I really do not see how your logic applies.
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Talossa
Not all liberals are silly.
08:42 PM on 12/21/2011
> The Christian isn't saying "I can be gay, but you can't"

*facepalm*

I wouldn't want to be saddled with logic like yours.
04:20 PM on 12/23/2011
It's when the (self described) Christian says "you are an abomination but I'm not" that things get loud. What the hell, if Uncle doesn't pull a gun, all is vanity.

I love Ecclesiastes. By the way, nice icon, Ryan.
04:49 PM on 12/21/2011
Uncle Claim #1: The Bible clearly condemns homosexuality.

Your Calm Response: You are clearly of unintelligent mind uncle. You let a 2000 year old book govern what is right and wrong in your life? You watch football "men playing with pig skin is an abomination, Uncle, do you let your slaves worship on Sunday? Didn't Jesus say not to judge as he who lives without sin cast the first stone? Uncle, go to hell i don't need your discrimination which is nothing like Jesus. Actually if Jesus was here, he'd tell you to get the fuck over yourself and focus on your own sins not mine.
06:19 PM on 12/21/2011
"Your Calm Response: You are clearly of unintellig­ent mind uncle."

Whereupon he leaves the table and you may never see or hear from him again. Would it not have been better to not let this situation arise in the first place?

Family dinner is NOT the place for a person with little or no knowledge of scripture to take on an uncle that was born and raised with it.

The time to decide whether to discard family members is BEFORE the dinner.
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Julia Bailey
11:17 AM on 12/22/2011
People 'born and raised' with scripture don't tend to actually know any. Its real easy to befuddle them, many have never even read the book on their own!
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TXanimal
Somewhere between Occam's Razor & Murphy's Law
12:46 PM on 12/22/2011
"Family dinner is NOT the place for a person with little or no knowledge of scripture to take on an uncle that was born and raised with it."

Obviously, it's the uncle with little or no knowledge of scripture, in this case.

"Discard" family members? A little melodramatic, no? How about discarding divisive personal agendas and political opinions until dinner is over instead?
09:54 AM on 12/22/2011
Most of the U.S. Laws and Constitution were written by the Founding Fathers with a quill in one hand and a Bible in the other. That 2,000 year old book that you dismiss so easily is already governing your life, friend, through the laws.
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TXanimal
Somewhere between Occam's Razor & Murphy's Law
12:43 PM on 12/22/2011
Oh really? Please show me the part of the Constitution that is based on something found only in the Bible.
04:14 PM on 12/22/2011
That's simply not true. Our Founders wisely omitted any specific religion from the Declaration of Independence and The COnstitution. Remember, their ancesters were persecuted for their belief.