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Rev. Meghan Johnston Aelabouni

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An Open Letter To All Who Suffer From the Shooting in Aurora

Posted: 07/21/2012 8:17 am

You don't know me. I'm a pastor at a Lutheran congregation 65 miles north of you, in Fort Collins. You may have your own pastor, or rabbi, or imam. You may not believe in God. But I am also your neighbor--and like many of your neighbors in Colorado and across the country, my heart breaks for you today.

We, your neighbors, may not have been in that movie theater, but we could have been. It could have been our children, our friends. We want to share words of sympathy, but we know no words can erase what has happened to you, as you grieve for the dead and wait in hospitals for news of the injured. What words we do share may bring little comfort.
I am only one of many voices who will speak to you, and about you, in the days to come. As a pastor, a parent, and a neighbor, here is what I want to say.

To the victims, the survivors, and their loved ones: I am so sorry. I cannot imagine the terror of being inside the theater in those deadly moments, or the anxiety of not knowing at first whether someone you loved was among the victims. I pray for the hospital staff and emergency personnel who continue to treat your wounds, and I pray for your healing. And for those who have received the worst possible news, the news of death, my head bows in sorrow.

In the coming days and weeks, you will probably encounter well-meaning people who will say to you, it is all part of God's plan, even if we don't understand it now. Everything happens for a reason. If these words are helpful for you to hear, I'm glad. But if these words tear at already-raw places in you and fill you with anger or despair, please know this: not all people of faith believe these things. I do not believe them.

The God I know in Jesus Christ does not use natural disasters or human-caused massacres to reward some and punish others. I believe God is able to reach into sin and death and pull out healing and life; this is a different thing from engineering tragedy for a so-called greater purpose. The God I serve and proclaim to others does not cause or desire human suffering.

I also suspect many of you, like us, may be asking why. Why did this happen? The media and the justice system will do their best to answer this question in the literal sense, trying to determine why James Holmes apparently entered a movie theater and began shooting at random. In a sense, however, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, because even if we get a "why"--an explanation from the shooter, or a more comprehensive understanding of the circumstances that comes with time--these answers will still not be enough.

In its deepest sense, the question "why?" is not a request for a logical explanation; no logical explanation will justify or make sense of what is indefensible and senseless. It is a cry of the heart, an expression of grief. It is a cry as ancient as it was new again this morning. In the Bible, it is "Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because her children are no more" (Jeremiah 31:15).

As a person of faith, I say to you: there is holiness in grief, in tears and in anger. In the refusal to be comforted, there is the understanding that these bullets have torn a rent not only in individual lives but also in the fabric of life itself, in an understanding of community as it ought to be. Such refusal proves that we have glimpsed and can imagine a better way of being together in the world. The fact that this event is one of many tragedies and episodes of suffering around the world doesn't diminish its magnitude; in many ways, it makes it sadder.

One of the twelve dead in the Aurora shooting was aspiring Colorado sportscaster Jessica (Ghawi) Redfield. On June 5, after she had narrowly missed being present at a similar shooting at a Toronto mall, she blogged about the event, asking, "Who would go into a mall full of thousands of innocent people and open fire? Is this really the world we live in?"

Is this the world we live in? Yes. And no. It is a world in which evil and tragedy erupt with shocking frequency and brutal intensity. It is a world in which, despite our attempts to separate "good people" from "bad people," the truth in writer Alexander Solzhenitsyn's words stands: "The line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either, but right through every human heart, and through all human hearts."

And yet, this is also a world in which immense kindness and compassion can wash over us in times of greatest need. For those whose trust in humanity has been shattered today: as you remember a young man bursting into a place of supposed safety and turning it into a place of destruction, may you also remember communities, places of worship, neighborhoods and individuals bursting into this situation with love and support. May these times testify not to the power of evil to destroy community, but to the greater power drawing a community together to stand with one another. I call that greater power God; but whether or not we share the same faith, let us share that commitment to life and love that render hatred and evil ultimately powerless.

In the end, whatever his motives, Mr. Holmes will have neither the first nor the last word. Nor will I. That honor belongs, I believe, to the indestructible love of God. It belongs also to Jessica Redfield, whose life was ended, but whose witness was not destroyed:
"we don't know when or where our time on Earth will end. When or where we will breathe our last breath...every moment we have to live our life is a blessing."

To Jessica and our beloved dead: rest in peace, and may perpetual light shine upon you.

 
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08:40 PM on 07/23/2012
I love your letter..it is heartfelt and real..and if i were to write a letter i would pray God would let me write it as eloquent as yours..God bless..and thank you!!!
08:13 AM on 07/23/2012
What are we to make of a world in which different people come to sincere but different conclusions on so many matters, based in large part on the culture to which they belong? These differences are as culturally conditioned in mundane matters like the shape of the earth as they are in matters of great importance such as the ultimate purpose of life. Where these views are opposed to each other, either they are all mistaken or only one is true. It could be that we are all fundamentally mistaken in our views about ultimate reality, or it could be that Christians are correct, or Muslims or atheists, but not all at the same time. Now, if God exists and desires the allegiance of all his creatures, it seems odd he would allow a state of affairs to exist in which equally sincere people come to diametrically opposed views on the nature or existence of God, in the same way that they have historically come to different views on the shape and age of the earth, the origin of disease, the appropriateness of dancing... But if there is no personal god, then this situation—the confusion and conflict that reign from the mundane to the critical, from the dawn of man up to the present—is precisely what we would expect in a world in which there is no personal creator who reveals himself to his children.
08:47 AM on 07/23/2012
Quote above taken from:

Daniels, Kenneth W. (2010-07-03). Why I Believed: Reflections of a Former Missionary (p. 108). Kenneth W. Daniels. Kindle Edition.
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OtayPanky
You're welcome
04:39 PM on 07/22/2012
OK...let's talk.

If you're actually in your church (or synagogue or mosque), you're talking to a crowd of like-minded people. In that venue it is certainly appropriate to speak the language of your faith. That's actually what you're getting paid to do.

But when you write an "open letter", you're obviously targeting not just your fellow "believer", but everybody. Everybody includes a LOT of people who don't share your faith, including a lot who find it oppressive and noxious.

In America, the stats are 15% who are atheists. That would be about 45 million people.

And these people - who well might include survivors and families of those wounded or dead, will definitely not want to be evangelized right now. It's no comfort to an atheist to hear you jabber on about your God - really and truly.

The art of offering comfort in a public venue (like an open letter) in the aftermath of a societal tragedy begins with keeping your religion to yourself, and find language that can be shared by ALL of us as we struggle in the aftermath.

That's true whether you're a Christian, Jew, Muslim, Hindu, agnostic, atheist, or whatever.
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arachne646
No more hurting people--Peace
05:10 PM on 07/22/2012
If you want to hear a God-free view, why are you reading a letter by a Lutheran minister in the Religion section of HP? If you just had to tell the author she should have left her opinions about the meaning of the world out of her open letter, why so many posts?
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OtayPanky
You're welcome
05:25 PM on 07/22/2012
I happen to think that a religious person, and even a minister, can (and should) speak in a universal language when addressing the public at large - which she is doing if she writes an "open letter" to everyone, rather than one directed to her fellow Christians.

I'll give you an example of what I mean: I was talking just yesterday to a woman who works as a hospital chaplain. When she presents herself to the sick, and their families, she doesn't try to impose her beliefs on them at all.

That's what is appropriate and right, in my view. She told me that she works just as well with people who are atheists as she does with the religious. And in her particular work with individuals, she will follow their lead. If they want to pray to a particular God, she will join them. But she would never take the lead in such a moment.

If this cleric wanted to write an open letter to Christians, and said so, her remarks would not have been inappropriate at all. Atheists and other non-christians would (as you say) continued to read on at their own risk.

Am I making sense?
06:24 PM on 07/22/2012
The first 11 words should have been your clue to not read on. The letter was written to help all those that seek a need to heal. If this letter helps you great. If not, move on and do not make this letter into a personal statement and take away from its purpose.
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OtayPanky
You're welcome
11:52 PM on 07/22/2012
No...it wasn't.  It was written as an opportunity for her to declare her faith in her God.  Since a lot of folks don't share that faith, and indeed find it problematic, she wasn't seeking to help "all" people at all.
See my comments below about a hospital chaplain I spoke with on Saturday who's a lot more skillful at helping people without imposing her own religious views.
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mustbelove
Rumi wannabe
03:00 PM on 07/22/2012
I want to ask all who read this to close their eyes and go deep into their hearts. Then imagine it with all your senses...what was it like to be in that theater or a frantic or grieving loved one. When you feel your empathy is strong, fill your heart with light. Ask that the Light fill the hearts of all who experienced the suffering you now feel in your heart.

Thank you.
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erebus99
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent
01:21 PM on 07/22/2012
And in all of that you left out the most fundamental and important step in healing - forgiveness.
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arachne646
No more hurting people--Peace
05:07 PM on 07/22/2012
There's a danger in forgiving too early, especially if the forgiveness is for someone more powerful than you. There may well be a period of coming to terms with what happened needed for people who were in that theatre, but forgiveness is essential--though not when imposed by another. Many victims have experienced incessant demands from friends and family (and strangers) to forgive so they can heal; no matter what their therapist or spiritual adviser says.
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erebus99
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent
12:28 AM on 07/23/2012
Of course forgiveness should come in it's own time and no one else can know or say when that is, but in the context of an open letter of comfort to not mention it as a force of healing is a glaring omission. In the process of recovery it has a unique value - it's something that people can DO - and just the contemplation of forgiveness forces recognition of the insanity behind the insane act.
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OtayPanky
You're welcome
11:38 PM on 07/21/2012
Blogger: As a person of faith, I say to you: there is holiness in grief, in tears and in anger.

---

But enough about you. Let's talk about me.
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dastardlydynamo1
03:16 AM on 07/22/2012
Well said.

Simple, eloquent, and from the heart..

I though that all of my tears had been shed. They weren't.
10:54 PM on 07/21/2012
Society needs to attempt to prevent future similar incidents by thoroughly investigating these senseless shootings. Guns are just tools used in the killings. The important question is what prompted the person to commit this act. Was it drugs? The Privacy Act needs to be modified to allow complete access to a person's life records when a heinous crime is committed. Then maybe society can prevent another massacre.
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EHRose
in diversity there is beauty and there is strength
08:32 PM on 07/21/2012
I think she did a good job of reminding people that things they think are supposed to be comforting words won't necessarily be heard that way by the grief stricken.

And let's consider this. Her second sentence starts with, "I'm a pastor at a Lutheran congregation".

I assumed because of this that she was going to be mentioning her religious beliefs at some point. Anyone who doesn't have similar beliefs to a Lutheran should probably just not have continued reading the article if references to religion is the sort of thing that upsets them.
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Sjoerd W
Always look for common ground.
06:49 PM on 07/21/2012
Talk about conflict...

The main message of the letter is wonderful I think. Compassion, support, sympathy. I think everybody has a right to express these feelings in their own way and I would never silence attempts to do so.

But I also have to agree with several posters that part of this letter is in bad taste. It could easily do without the fifth paragraph entirely, and phrases like "That honor belongs, I believe, to the indestructible love of God." I know your faith is important to you, but don't sneak it in an otherwise perfectly compassionate letter, show some respect to the people of varying beliefs that are in deep hurt at the moment. Trust me, it doesn't make you any different from the well-meaning 'it's God's plan' people.
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Joel Watts
Joel L. Watts holds a Masters of Theological Studi
04:31 PM on 07/21/2012
Here is mine. Stop blaming and absorb the violence http://unsettledchristianity.com/2012/07/more-thoughts-on-the-aurora-tragedy-who-can-we-blame-blame-me-i-helped/
04:14 PM on 07/21/2012
I am a Pastor, and I must say this is right on point...to be exact it is the point of the life and death of Jesus of Nazareth. Thank you for your awareness that God is present in all situations and in all kinds of belief systems. Bless you for this!
researcher
researcher
02:31 PM on 07/21/2012
These incidents will continue to happen in a nation that cares more about its corp profits then the security of its citizens.

America is a nation that will even have wars for corp profits and most of the christian clergy goes right along with it. ie no protests just acceptance so not to lose members. $$$$$$

That said those that loss their lives in this incident live on. the grief of those remaining will be much.

The person that did the shooting will be blamed and the insane system of guns for all including assult guns and 6000 rounds of ammo on the internet will continue to be an american way of life. profits over people.

One thing for sure americans love their guns more than their bibles.
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LadyXoc
10:49 AM on 07/21/2012
Thank you for this article. I am not a believer, but your faith and your words are beautiful.
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methodman
10:38 AM on 07/21/2012
I disagree with all clergy on the point of every situation should be warm and fuzzy and comfort seeking. The clergy refuses to shine a light on important conversations "read original cause by CeAnne De Rohan and Messages to Michael by Chelsey Quinn Yarbro Both these books come at fear, blame, rage, and other things from a level of layer conversation. The clergy is in denial which is why we are keeping our feet away.. And our book shelves unstocked with religious books. Those two books helped me understand rage involved because a friends daughter was strangled. Again church is the last place to look for honesty, integrated conversation and anything real. Genuine conversation can be explained but not from the clergy.
02:22 PM on 07/21/2012
I disagree too that "the point of every situation should be warm and fuzzy and comfort seeking." And I am clergy. And every clergy person I know personally would also disagree. So to lump "all clergy" together like that is, literally, ignorant, and makes me wonder how many personal encounters with clergy you have had. I'm sorry if they have been bad experiences, but they certainly don't represent all, or even most, of us.
01:08 PM on 07/22/2012
You disagree with the cartoon or bete noir that you've created in your mind for having rhetorical arguments. Even so, consider this "layer". People are grieving and in shock and you cover yourself and the huffington post in glory by taking the first opportunity to ride your hobbyhorse. Grow up or at least learn when to shut up.
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methodman
10:24 AM on 07/23/2012
Thanks for that word. I found it useful to write about Fred Phelps. When you write about Unseen Denial and other legitimate topics its hard to contemplate because it is not a very American Style "As you contemplate things you create some type of project as you go along." These line of thought takes a lot more creativity to be able to do that with.
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SmileAndActNice
Utilitarianism, the -ism that works.
10:25 AM on 07/21/2012
When I went to my grandfather in laws funeral some years back the religious fellow giving the service started off talking about grandpa and then moved on to talking about the importance of faith and telling a story about how he felt the call and what God means to him.

I was stunned.

THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU.

Not everything is a teachable moment to be turned to the end of proselytizing. If that had been my grandpa instead of my in law I'd have marched up there and told him to get out, we'd handle the memorial ourselves.

But lucky the lady who spoke at my blood grandpas death did a good job. She talked to all of us and learned about him and told us our own stories in a new way that put together the story of his life. And while she certainly mixed religion in there she kept God in the background and grandpa in the foreground because it was for Grandpa that we gathered. Not God. And she definitely didn't start talking about herself and her relationship with God while we were trying to send off grandpa.

I think this article, and all the ones like it, are in bad taste. You have an agenda that you are using this tragedy to advance. Please wait until the dead are buried at the very least.
01:35 PM on 07/21/2012
The sad thing is: there "faith" has taken them so far from their humanity that they don't even notice what they're doing.
07:41 PM on 07/21/2012
So if you believe in God, there's a mandatory waiting period for offering condolences?
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Calli Preston
Armchair Politician :-)
02:33 PM on 07/22/2012
I suppose Christians are not allowed to comment or grieve for the tragedy in Aurora.
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origamib
Snarky is my middle name.
12:42 AM on 07/23/2012
No, but their ought to be a respectful delay or flat out omission of outright proselytizing.
If you are a believer and the person who is grieving is not, would you take that moment to try to convert them to your way of thinking? Do you think it would be the respectful, decent thing to do under the circumstances?
This lady was a bit more gentle, but the message is still clear. She is not addressing "all" who are hurting. She is addressing believers and trying to pull in a few none believers into the fold in one fell swoop. Not offensive to believers, I get that. Somewhat offensive to none believers? Yes.Was it her intent to offend? I think not, so she gets a pass. But I wish she was more sensitive to how her methods will be perceived another time.