08/06/2014 12:04 am ET Updated Feb 02, 2016

Sixth Circuit Marriage Arguments: 'It's Personal'

I posted a meme on Facebook about the marriage equality cases being heard in the Sixth Circuit on August 6th and a friend commented: "Nervous and excited about this. I think a lot of people forget that this isn't just political posturing and ideological debate -- it's personal, it's my life and the lives of many I love!"

And that called me to reprise this piece I wrote during the SCOTUS oral arguments:

I just want to "put out there"
that for all the drama, excitement,
enthusiasm and analysis
sparked by the debate on marriage equality
there is also another dimension
that is easy to overlook.

It is what comes up for folks
who have their internalized homophobia triggered
by the "old tapes" of messages they're hearing again:
messages that they're not good enough
-- not worthy enough
-- not deserving enough
-- to be treated equally.
Only they're not hearing
those tapes in their heads
-- they're hearing them
on the radio or the television.

It is what happens
when children see families like theirs
being talked about in "the news"
with question marks
about whether they're "real" families -
whether they deserve
the same protection the family next door has.

And it is the ongoing indignity
of having our deepest, holiest,
most precious loves and relationships
debated and dissected
in the public arena
as if it was OK
as if it wasn't dehumanizing
and as if it's not profoundly personal.

So if you find yourself hurting, angry,
anxious, scared or snarky
reach out and let someone you love
remind you that you're loved
and that no matter what
we're going to get through this.

And if you know someone
who may not reach out
find them where they are
and remind them that they're loved
and that justice WILL roll down like waters
and the arc of history WILL bend toward equality
and in the end all will be well
and all will be well
and all manner of things shall indeed be well.

And if all things are not yet well
then it's not the end. Yet.

La lucha continua.
The struggle continues!

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