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Rev. Winnie Varghese

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Full Marriage Equality in New York: A Clergy Perspective

Posted: 06/15/2011 12:44 pm

We are one vote away from same sex marriage in New York.

I am an Episcopal Priest in New York, watching, more than a little excited. The Episcopal Church is one of the churches that has come out in full support of the civil rights of gay and lesbian persons, including the right to constitute family with a same sex partner.

I am writing to make only one point. State recognition of same sex marriage is about freedom, an all-American value, more libertarian than liberal. It is about removing a state imposed barrier in the construction of family.

As human beings, and specifically as persons of faith, we organize ourselves as families based upon values much more profound than simply the code of law of the country we happen to inhabit. As followers of Jesus our standards for relationship are quite high and often distinct from any legal requirements. The law does not require fidelity, love, skill in communication, or signs of a healthy relationship. The church increasingly requires articulation and signs of those kinds of qualities in relationship before blessing a marriage or relationship.

As a church we hold quite a diversity of opinions on this subject, but as a church we have not allowed those who hold one opinion to restrict the freedoms of other people. That is quite the opposite of what those who oppose gay marriage are trying to do. They are trying to maintain a level of discrimination, historic and traditional discrimination, but discrimination, a restriction on freedom enshrined in law that now also violates our common understanding of human sexual identity as diversely ordered in the human experience.

Episcopalians are often quite traditional and deliberate in our approach. We often do not make change quickly, and when we do, we do so informed by our tradition. We are proud of our tradition of holding human dignity and reason, our capacity to take in new information and respond faithfully, as foundational values undergirded by the teachings of Jesus as known to us in the Bible.

Marriage between members of the same sex reflects a new understanding of human beings and human sexuality. The law must change to reflect new truths, which should inform how we approach our scripture and tradition. In light of our newly formed understanding and respect for the experience of gay and lesbian persons, same sex marriage is a matter of civil rights, an increase in a fundamental freedom for a group oppressed by outdated, biased legislation.

For those religious leaders who are afraid, you will not be required to marry someone of the same sex. For those of you who have waited too long, our church hopes and prays with you.

 

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01:20 PM on 06/25/2011
I am so glad the bill finally passed, because of its civil rights significance. I also warned my gay friends not to expect happiness (few marriages are happy because they're defined as monogamiac 24/7 cages), but they have the same right to wedded unhappiness as the others. Of course, having divorced parents, uncles etc in their families, they know that anyway. Hooray for NYS!

Some people still thump the Bible to oppose, but are they consistent in obeying ALL commands?
http://www.11points.com/books/11_things_the_bible_bans,_but_you_do_anyway
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anthonytaurus
don't f&f me. you dont' know what I'll say next
09:59 AM on 06/19/2011
Gay folks bleed and breathe the same as me. That's more than enough for me to respect their rights and, especially, their freedom to marry, love, and care for one another. I don't need to have a talk with "Jesus" to do the right thing. The right thing is obvious if you simply respect human beings as human beings.
11:42 PM on 06/18/2011
What is marriage really? http://www.examiner.com/christianity-in-rochester/what-is-marriage-really
03:39 PM on 06/17/2011
How can a Reverend completely disregard the teachings of GOD by condoning homosexuality? Have you not read the 1st Chapter of Romans? I am afraid the Episcopal Church has become one of the false teachers proclaimed in 2 Pet. 2:1
04:05 PM on 06/17/2011
Your belief system is obviously different than the Rev. Varghese's. That does not mean that yours is right and hers is wrong; it simply means that your interpretation--or the interpretation of your religious leaders--is different than her interpretation. I realize that there are many people who believe the Bible is not open to interpretation; but there are many who believe otherwise. No one is asking you to endorse her belief system; you are fully entitled to believe however you wish. She is stating an opinion that differs from yours on one point (perhaps others, but we cannot say for sure based on this article); that hardly makes her a heretic. I am quite sure that she is very familiar with the passages you cite; I'm quite sure they were covered in her theological training. You and she simply have a different viewpoint.
04:19 PM on 06/17/2011
It is quite easy to interpret Rom. 1:27, there is no gray area. Her opinion is NOT founded in Biblical Truth. It is quite obvious to me that she has chosen to ignore this. I will make it easy for you though, I will show you how homosexuality IS A SIN and condoning SIN is NOT what a Reverend is supposed to do. Now if the Reverend would like to come on this forum and explain this is not what God said I'd love to hear it.

Rom 1:27~ And 5037 likewise 3668 also 2532 the men 730, leaving 863 the natural 5446 use 5540 of the woman 2338, burned 1572 in 1722 their 846 lust 3715 one toward another 1519 240; men 730 with 1722 men 730 working 2716 that which is unseemly 808, and 2532 receiving 618 in 1722 themselves 1438 that recompence 489 of their 846 error 4106 which 3739 was meet 1163 .


Lexicon Results
Strong's G5446 - physikos
φυσικός
Transliteration

physikos
Pronunciation

fü-sē-ko's (Key)


Part of Speech

adjective
Root Word (Etymology)

From φύσις (G5449)

TDNT Reference

9:251,1283
Vines

View Entry


Outline of Biblical Usage
1) produced by nature, inborn

2) agreeable to nature

3) governed by (the instincts of) nature




lexicon results
strong's g5540 - chrēsis
χÏῆσις
Transliteration

chrēsis
Pronunciation

khrÄ'-sÄ“s (Key)


Part of Speech

feminine noun
Root Word (Etymology)

From χÏάομαι (G5530)

TDNT Reference

n/a
Vines

View Entry


Outline of Biblical Usage
1) use

a) of the sexual use of a woman
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jf12
Occupying myself
06:14 PM on 06/17/2011
Responding about the witness of the Bible to religious tradition. Prescinding from the asinine statements some have made, that the Catholic church did not perform marriages until the Middle Ages (!), clearly you can agree the original text of the Bible, thousands of years old, mentions marriage many centuries B.C.

Otherwise, I can point to the "institution" of the Bridal Chorus processional as a necessary component of modern marriage, and blithely claim that "real" marriages have only existed a little over a century. It is stupid, and I know you know it is stupid.
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galanos1
Reality & Life Is Less Then A Second Away
08:39 PM on 06/17/2011
That'a exactly my point as well.
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thereisonlyoneparty
more amazing than you
12:28 AM on 06/17/2011
I am writing to make only one point. State recognition of same sex marriage is about freedom, an all-American value, more libertarian than liberal. It is about removing a state imposed barrier in the construction of family.
As is state recognition of incestuous relationships and polygamy (polygyny, polyandry, and group marriage.)

But where the support for that?

Also where is your support for allowing "marriage" or union contracts to be altered or for them to contain pre-determined dates of contract termination?

That is actual equality.  And that is actually want libertarians desire (sort of; the view is to let contract law deal with this instead of moral institutions from the dark ages).
Episcopalians are often quite traditional and deliberate in our approach. We often do not make change quickly, and when we do, we do so informed by our tradition. We are proud of our tradition of holding human dignity and reason, our capacity to take in new information and respond faithfully, as foundational values undergirded by the teachings of Jesus as known to us in the Bible.
So the bible is against it, but you are more intelligent than the bible?  Yet you still follow it and the character of Jesus?

That I do not get.  If one part of a religion is considered antiquated then maybe the whole thing should be viewed that way.
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jf12
Occupying myself
12:24 PM on 06/17/2011
Or rather, if you have a "new revelation", then get out of the religion you pretend to espouse.
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Jason N
Proud Firebagger Lefty
01:09 PM on 06/17/2011
"As is state recognitio­n of incestuous relationsh­ips and polygamy (polygyny, polyandry, and group marriage.)"

First cousin marriage is legal in most of the US. Polygamy cannot work in a contract that's structured for 2 parties. Medical proxy, inheritance, and custody laws all have to be changed to accommodate multiple party members, not to mention the unequal tax distribution this creates along with the hoarding of women by the most powerful and wealthy. None of these issues arise when removing gender restrictions from the marriage contract. No equality between the two, your comparison is faulty.
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thereisonlyoneparty
more amazing than you
04:13 PM on 06/17/2011
Gender has nothing to do with marriage now, sir or madame. It is sex. They are not the same thing. Further your claims are ridiculous. Your assertion is that because it would be too difficult to make changes then rights of all people should be completely ignored. That argument holds no weight at all. And basically it is the same as the argument against "gay marriage" (horrid term used by imbeciles), is it not? You know, traditional ways need to be kept.
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Angel1999
Microbiologist & Historian
07:20 PM on 06/16/2011
ConservativeAmongWolves
11 Fans
Become a fan
19 hours ago (12:02 AM)
"I don't think homosexual­ity is "weird," I said it was abnormal.

I just don't our society to be forced by an abnormal fraction of the country to be forced to accept it as normal."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
It is naturally present in over 1500 animal species including humans. Just because something isn't average, doesn't mean it's abnormal. "Abnormal" implies inappropri­ate, but all that can really be said is it's not the norm. It will never be the norm because there will always be more heterosexu­als than homosexual­s.

However, the same thing can be said of red-haired people, who only make up 1-2% of the worldwide population­. Would you call them abnormal? Do we need to pass laws to make red-haired people normal? There are actually more gay people than red-haired people. Why should red-haired people get equal rights and not gay people?

Left-hande­d people are also not the norm. There are about as many gay people as there are left-hande­d people. Should it be necessary for the country to try to make left handed people the norm? Should left-hande­d people be required to conform to what's normal because they can learn a different behavior (of right handedness­)?

Left-hande­d people, red-haired people, and gay people are just subsets across a broad spectrum of human phenotypes­. None of them are abnormal, just not the average.
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thereisonlyoneparty
more amazing than you
12:44 AM on 06/17/2011
I would call left handed people abnormal.  There is nothing wrong with the use of such a term.

Also arguments of "natural" are rather useless.  How natural is anything that humans do now?  Clothes?  Computers?

Additionally it ignores motives and reasons for behaviors.  Humans have much more choice in why they act.  Especially with regard to sex.  Sex for humans is generally not about procreation nor a result  of natural cycles.

I question the implication of value judgments in the above too.  "'Abnormal' implies inappropriate", huh?  No, it states a variation from the norm.  (Which also leads to questions of categorization of human variation, but Huffington Post is not a place for intelligent type discussions.)
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toocoolfoschool1234
Stab your television. Get a guitar.
03:42 AM on 06/17/2011
Clothes and computers are natural bi products of an intelligent species. Just like an ant hill is a natural construct of ants or a beehive is a natural construct of bees.
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Jason N
Proud Firebagger Lefty
01:11 PM on 06/17/2011
"I would call left handed people abnormal. There is nothing wrong with the use of such a term."

It's quite apparent you were using the term in a negative fashion, you followed it up with a textbook "morality" phrase about "society not endorsing..." Were you really using the statistical terms you claim to be, you'd called them outliers.
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galanos1
Reality & Life Is Less Then A Second Away
04:45 PM on 06/16/2011
If men progress by faith, and receive the Spirit of God, and bring forth the fruit thereof, shall be Spiritual, as being planted in the paradise of God. But if they cast out the Spirit, and bring forth for fruits the lusts of the flesh, then they do not inherit the kingdom.
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emmanuel goldstein
Have you had your two minutes today?
06:41 PM on 06/16/2011
Is that from a fortune cookie?
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RutherfordLaser
Would rather have a macro bio.
07:01 PM on 06/16/2011
I wonder what my lucky numbers are?
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galanos1
Reality & Life Is Less Then A Second Away
12:17 PM on 06/17/2011
No, it is information I gather from reading many, many books. I love my Living God.
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ColleenHarper
Actions always have unintended consequences
11:56 PM on 06/16/2011
It sounds like you have never met a spiritually guided, loving gay man or lesbian. Take it from me that there are plenty out there, in the Metropolitan Community Church, the United Church of Christ, the Episcopal Church, the Presbyterian Church and many others.

They are, as you say "progress(ing) in faith, and receiv(ing) the Spirit of God, and bring(ing) forth the fruit thereof" etc. And they are LGBT. It seems that they are showing more of the Love of God, as Jesus taught, than those who would deny that they are Children of God.
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jf12
Occupying myself
12:24 AM on 06/17/2011
Responding up here. Yes, the easy availability of divorce does indeed dilute marriage for the purpose of destroying it. Yes, the fact that many others are commonly getting divorced, and remarried, and redivorced, does indeed diminish marriage in general and therefore mine in particular. It's kind of like the torture issues diminishing our country's moral standing, irrespective of the morality of an individual soldier.

Suppose, just suppose, as a cruel joke a warden issued valid marriage certificates to every pair of cell sharing inmates, whether each of those inmates wanted it or not. We're pretending they are valid. Would the existence of that warden's actions diminish the sanctity, if you will, of a real couple? I say yes.
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thereisonlyoneparty
more amazing than you
12:36 AM on 06/17/2011
I knew people like you in my younger days (like four years ago).

People that would shop around to find a church that would "accept" them or some rubbish.

You cannot deny part of a religion while accepting other parts.  It makes absolutely no sense at all.  It is fun to be a member of a group, but it is not necessary.
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jf12
Occupying myself
03:20 PM on 06/16/2011
Because marriage was traditionally a religious institution, it is important to ask: what are the secular arguments for, or secular benefits of, expanding any religious tradition into nonreligious regions, and especially into regions which the religious tradition explicitly forbids? I don't mean just marriage. I conclude the sole eventual purpose is the dilution and ultimate destruction of that institution.
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Angel1999
Microbiologist & Historian
06:39 PM on 06/16/2011
Because marriage was NOT traditionally a religious institution and there was no sacred rite of matrimony in the Christian Church until after the 1st millennium, I do not think it is necessary to go any further. If you initial premise is wrong, then all the conclusions you draw from that incorrect premise are suspect.
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jf12
Occupying myself
07:27 PM on 06/16/2011
You are misinformed. It has been Christian doctrine, in the Bible, since day one that marriage is "what therefore God hath joined together" and it is "from the beginning of creation" (Mark 10, etc.) Moreover, Eve was called Adam's wife already in Genesis 2.
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thereisonlyoneparty
more amazing than you
12:31 AM on 06/17/2011
Marriage is comprised based upon moral and religious ideals and not practical ones.

As a "historian" I am sure that you are aware that legal grouping arrangements change over time and are not standardized across the various peoples of the world.

In western society marriage is entirely religious/moral.  Two parties?  Morality.  No pre-determined end date?  Morality.  No adding or removing parties?  Morality.  No incest?  Morality.  You may be able to make an argument that these moral views are not wholly derived from religion, but that does not make it any less of an affront to the concept of liberty.
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emmanuel goldstein
Have you had your two minutes today?
06:44 PM on 06/16/2011
Actually, traditionally, marriage is a social institution meant to keep track of lineages to prevent in-breeding and infighting over women.
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jf12
Occupying myself
07:30 PM on 06/16/2011
Secularly, yes, those were some benefits of the original more exclusive definition. How are those benefits preserved or expanded under the newer less exclusive arrangement?
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thereisonlyoneparty
more amazing than you
12:37 AM on 06/17/2011
It was a way of dealing with property.

Actually there was plenty of inbreeding, but that was because of a lack of partners in some places (your poor ancestors living outside of a small town) or views that related partners were better (your royalty and what not).
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Gyrlznluv
It's Not What They Call U,It's What U Answer too!
11:10 AM on 06/16/2011
People!!!!!
It's not "GAY MARRIAGE" It's "MARRIAGE EQUALITY".
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Ioan Lightoller
Proud Married Gay Pagan Man
02:44 PM on 06/16/2011
I am in complete agreement. Full marriage equality. Nothing less.
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thereisonlyoneparty
more amazing than you
12:34 AM on 06/17/2011
You lack of support for equality has already been pointed out on various occasions.

You do not support equality.  You claim equality to hide your own selfish intentions.
05:30 PM on 06/17/2011
It's not Global Warming, it's Climate Change........... whatever
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11:05 AM on 06/16/2011
Thank you! Everybody deserves to have an opinion and have that right to express it. We, the Gay community, must not allow people, who are critical of, put up stumbling blocks, in our plight for equal justice; to not allow doubt to creep in, no matter how much of that hate appeals to our lowest value of ourselves. It is insulting to God, to not live the life given with dignity and respect. Equal protection under the law, no more, but certainly, no less! They want us to be worthless in the eyes of God, so that we can be worth even lesser before men.
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jf12
Occupying myself
03:15 PM on 06/16/2011
I don't have creeping doubt. It is in fact an immovable objection.
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emmanuel goldstein
Have you had your two minutes today?
06:46 PM on 06/16/2011
Fine, be unmovable. Everyone will just go around you.
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Ioan Lightoller
Proud Married Gay Pagan Man
03:21 AM on 06/17/2011
You stay where you are. The rest of us will continue to move into the second decade of the 21st Century.
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galanos1
Reality & Life Is Less Then A Second Away
10:40 AM on 06/16/2011
Listen Episcopal Priest, God did not want to create a robot. He wanted to create a free being with all the gifts to become a godlike person. The imperfection of humanity was necessary for it’s own good, since this imperfection is not permanent, but the starting point towards maturity.
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Misterioso Adversario
THE THIRST MUTILATOR!
12:44 PM on 06/16/2011
Listen terrible poster, none of your three paragraphs make any sense.
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galanos1
Reality & Life Is Less Then A Second Away
02:22 PM on 06/16/2011
Their are other people that do understand, the Huffpost as I was told is to exchange ideas. No need to be rude.
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BurtonDesque
Fear a Blank Planet
02:17 AM on 06/17/2011
Did you have something approaching a point relevant to the article at hand?
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galanos1
Reality & Life Is Less Then A Second Away
08:39 PM on 06/17/2011
No, all I can do is bring insight into repentance and Prayer.
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galanos1
Reality & Life Is Less Then A Second Away
10:39 AM on 06/16/2011
Listen Episcopal Priest, The “ungodly men†fail to grow into the likeness of God†they fail in their potential to remain faithful to God, receiving supportive grace and eternal life from the Holy Spirit. Humans, under the influence of the devil, decide freely to disobey God. Human beings possessed free will from the beginning. This free will which is a characteristic of the resemblance, or similarity, differentiates humanity from other creatures of God. Humanity’s redemption by Christ makes people God like again.
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emmanuel goldstein
Have you had your two minutes today?
06:53 PM on 06/16/2011
But what about us Hindus, Buddhists, Wiccans, Secularists, and others for whom the Bible has no sway?

This is a SECULAR country after all.
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galanos1
Reality & Life Is Less Then A Second Away
01:57 PM on 06/17/2011
Their is only one God, a God that exist's in eternity. We will never, never, never exist as God. We only exist because God did not abandon us. The rest of the Faith's are with us. As Jesus replied to one of his Disciples. It is better for them to acknowledge and love God, than to hate God.
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galanos1
Reality & Life Is Less Then A Second Away
10:22 AM on 06/16/2011
Listen Episcopal Priest, Obedience to God is identified with life as the possession of the Spirit, while disobedience is identified with sin and death. Death is both a physical and an ethical phenomenon {appearance}. Because of this, we have to strive ethically in order to avoid spiritual death that will take from us the hope of physical immortality. When we were destitute of the celestial Spirit, we walked in former times in the oldness of the flesh, not obeying God; so now by receiving the Spirit, we walk in newness of life, obeying God. As without the Spirit of God, we cannot be saved. We have to preserve the Spirit of God, lest, having become non-participators of the Divine Spirit, we lose the Kingdom of Heaven.
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kosa0504
lesbian college student
10:36 AM on 06/16/2011
What?
Wait... huh?
None of that makes any sense!!
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galanos1
Reality & Life Is Less Then A Second Away
02:27 PM on 06/16/2011
A college student and you cannot make sense of my post? It seems you need to awaken Spiritually, otherwise you can finish 20 years of college and be left clueless. (angry response not required)
10:38 AM on 06/16/2011
"Listen, Episcopal Priest..."? How disrespectful! Just because you do not agree with someone or question their personal belief system does not entitle you to be disrespectful, especially when the rest of your post references God or Spirit of God no less than nine times.
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galanos1
Reality & Life Is Less Then A Second Away
11:49 AM on 06/16/2011
I used upper case letters, that's Respect.
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talkstocoyotes
08:50 AM on 06/16/2011
***Episcopalians are often quite traditional and deliberate in our approach. We often do not make change quickly, and when we do, we do so informed by our tradition. ***

I'm glad to see so many Episcopalians joining the movement to bring America more in line with the moral values we made a commitment to at our founding. Good luck to you and your church, Rev. Varghese.
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WilliamBradford
Veritas vos Liberabit
08:39 AM on 06/16/2011
If I am a bi-sexual person, doesn't full understanding and respect for my sexuality require society to recognize my three-person marriage between me and my male and female partners? Isn't your arbitrary limit of two people in a marriage a limit to my freedom based on discrimination?
09:05 AM on 06/16/2011
That's no different than our current ban on heterosexual polygamy. Different argument, unrelated entirely to the gay/straight question. Try again.
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WilliamBradford
Veritas vos Liberabit
09:37 AM on 06/16/2011
You're repeating the twisted logic of the talking points. Heterosexual polygamy is not based on sexual identity, so it is completely different.

If this is about respecting and understanding human sexuality, and it there is a "B" in LGBT, then denying bi-sexual triads the right to form a loving family is a form of hateful discrimination. You can't have it both ways.
09:16 AM on 06/16/2011
If you wish to see public policy changed to include more than two unmarried, unrelated adults, then I would encourage you to begin the long, arduous and extremely expensive process that is required to actually get public policy changed. I have no "arbitrary limit"; it is a limit imposed by public policy and public policy change can either come from the top down (which, in this case is unlikely since cultural issues seldom are top-down in public policy) or from the grassroots level. In that case, it is first necessary to form alliances with like-minded individuals. Given the number of individuals who like to make the same comment as you have, perhaps you could put out a small post on some internet site and begin working together to affect this change that you all seem so concerned about.
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