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Rhiana Maidenberg

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To the Preschool Class of 2012

Posted: 05/30/2012 10:00 am

Unfortunately, these days it appears that every minute milestone warrants a mortar board. By the time a child graduates from college, she may have already sported a cap and gown at least five previous times!

In a few weeks my oldest daughter, and all of her little friends, will be "graduating" from preschool, and my Facebook news feed will be awash with proud parents displaying their children's graduation photos. Bleh! When did completing two years of preschool begin meriting a diploma? If anyone deserves to be celebrated, it is the parents who survived the trying preschool years. I would gladly accept a party and diploma for enduring the exasperating three-nagers and the frustrating 4-year-olds.

However, since the majority of the country finds it necessary to celebrate a child mastering the art of snack-time and finger-painting, I have written a commencement letter to all the little ones about to embark on the path to elementary school.

As you read this, imagine that Green Day's "Time of Your Life" is accompanying a slide show of photos that are mostly of the "you had to be there" nature.

Congratulations, graduates of the preschool class of 2012!

Today you have arrived. Today you officially become a big kid. You are leaving the protective realm of nap time and free play to enter the real world of cubby holes and ABC's. Yes, elementary school is a wide, scary world, but don't be afraid. Your parents and teachers have prepared you well -- all those long mornings stringing plastic beads and playing with colored sand will not be wasted.

As you reflect back on these past two years, take time to remember your struggles and achievements.

Remember the day you stuffed both nostrils with dried navy beans and had to breathe out of your mouth until the doctor pried them out with those huge tweezers? Priceless!

Remember the time you cried so long and hard for your mother, that the preschool director was sure that you were having an anxiety attack? Then she called your mom to come and get you? Hilarious!

Remember when the teacher let the class play with finger paints and half the kids decided to get naked in order to slather their bodies blue and red? LOL!

But seriously, bravo! You have successfully made it through two years of grueling curriculum including, but not limited to, the following: dress up play, block building, pretend kitchen games, story hour, circle time and nose picking. I know it has been rough, and that there were days when it was difficult to change out of your Thomas the Tank Engine PJ's, but you did it. You made it to school ... most days.

Even though this day marks the end of your toddler/preschooler-hood, don't be distressed. There is a whole world of opportunities waiting for you. Just think, in a year you may be able to read "Goodnight Moon" all on your own, or add using your fingers. By this time next year, you may be through with nighttime pull-ups!

So, as I raise this juice box in your honor, I will be wishing that it was spiked with vodka. However, hip-hip-hooray to you, young graduate! You did it! Sincerest congratulations on a job well done. Now, if you could only learn to tie your own shoes.

Until next year (when we get to do this all over again for your kindergarten graduation), much love,
The Real World

 

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Unfortunately, these days it appears that every minute milestone warrants a mortar board. By the time a child graduates from college, she may have already sported a cap and gown at least five previous...
Unfortunately, these days it appears that every minute milestone warrants a mortar board. By the time a child graduates from college, she may have already sported a cap and gown at least five previous...
 
 
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10:41 PM on 06/07/2012
I'd like to add that of all the people who should be congratulated, first and foremost should be the daycare/pre-school TEACHERS!!!! I hope everyone's as fortunate as I am when it comes to the quality staff of their daycare. As parents we deal with a lot from "our kids"... and it's often not that bad because they're our kids. But imagine dealing with other people's toddlers day in and out? Yikes! In fact this morning when I dropped my daughter off (wearing one of my nicest work outfits) I got splattered with red paint by someone else's toddler. I didn't react negatively, but yeah... I was peeved. And then I thought "The teachers deal with this all day every day" (albeit they dress very casually... that only makes sense). Times like that I don't be grudge them a dime if what I spend there. So to all the staff at daycares everywhere, THANK YOU FOR LOOKING AFTER OTHER PEOPLE'S KIDS!!!!
01:13 PM on 06/04/2012
Some of these comments are as hilarious as I found the article. Lighten up people...come on. I proudly have my kids preschool grad picture on the fridge (the same way my mom had mine somewhere in a drawer). I'm proud of him and sure he picked up more than nose picking in his two years there....I know he picked up a sense of humour...and ten years from now, I hope he'd find this article as hilarious as I did.
01:33 AM on 06/02/2012
I agree that a preschool graduation is over-the-top. But I also gotta say the one I went to for my 5-year-old this week was cute as heck. And my girl was so excited about getting up in front of the parents and singing the songs they'd been working on that I was willing to rearrange meetings and travel schedules to get there. I don't think I had a preschool graduation. But I performed in concerts where all I could do was scrape out "Twinkle twinkle little star" on a tinny violin and then bow, and we all got dressed up and had an audience for that. It's not so different.
06:57 PM on 06/01/2012
We should make everything kids do a big deal, because that's how they will be treated in real life. A job promotion will be a ceremony for everyone. A scholarship earned will be a party for everyone to attend. I don't mind celebrating these things among family, but it seems excessive to make these things a community event. Give kids praise for things they do well, acknowledge big accomplishments, but don't make ordinary things a big deal, or they will learn to expect that from everyone in their lives. I personally don't want my kids to come home crying because the teacher didn't personally thank them for passing their class when they graduate from 2nd grade to 3rd grade. I don't want them to be upset when the teacher didn't praise them in front of the class for earning a prestigious scholarship. These are nice things to do, but shouldn't be set up as an expectation. It's another indication of a me-centered culture that will crash one day, because once all the other-centered people are gone, the me-centered people will have no one to take care of them.
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Jamie Schler
Writer at Life's a Feast & Huff Post blogger.
01:20 PM on 06/01/2012
Wow what comments here! I think that if every single thing is made such a huge deal of, what will be left to really celebrate? Yes, I was thrilled when my sons finished preschool and entered elementary school; every milestone was fun and wonderful to see and I was one proud mama. But if everything is blown out of proportion, if everything becomes a public spectacle, what is left? And what becomes truly special and how to differentiate that? Can't we simply be proud parents and communicate this pride and joy to our children without turning it into a circus? When I was a kid, "graduating" kindergarten, high school, college, etc was expected and just part of our life and growing up. It was quietly celebrated (or celebrated with friends) and knowing that my parents were proud of me and pride in myself that I did it was reward enough.
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Rhiana Maidenberg
02:07 PM on 06/01/2012
Exactly. When we overpraise every accomplishment we minimize the truly great achievements in life. Lets save the cap and gown for high school and college.
12:44 PM on 06/01/2012
I'm pretty sure when I was in pre-school (or K-4 as it was called) I remember learning things like diphthongs and counting to 100 and even some writing exercises. I still have my early readers too ("Pig in a Wig" for one). I definitely do not remember having a graduation ceremony or assembly. It was a non-event. Everyone was expected to be at that level by the time they hit kindergarten, so what's special?

Not saying that celebrations or praise and encouragement aren't ever in order, but I think the intent of this letter is that when we praise every single little thing kids do, especially with a huge celebration and party, it's watering down praise for future big accomplishments. I think if my parents had been over my shoulder saying "Oh good job, you painted a rock! You are Van Gogh!" then their later praise wouldn't have meant as much to me, e.g. "Well I could paint a rock and they'd still be as impressed as if I'd gotten an A on this 15-page paper."
06:57 PM on 06/01/2012
Haha after reading your comment I'm almost ashamed to admit I had no idea what a diphthong was, let alone that such a thing existed, until one of my upper-division english linguistics courses in college.... Preschool huh? Well I guess since I never went to preschool, my ignorance may be forgiven :-)
11:17 AM on 06/01/2012
As a mother, a preschool director and a life-long learner with a special interest in best practices in early childhood education, this was horrifying. The issue here is not whether a preschool chooses to hold a "graduation." Your disrespectful tone as you "speak" to children, with the audacity to say that you are representing "The Real World" was offensive. Children's milestones and achievements do not look like those of adults, nor should they! In their "real world" children work hard every day. To quote Mr. Rogers, Play IS the work of childhood. Society is too concerned with academics in preschool. What I am interested in is knowing that children are scaffolded by their teachers in a developmentally appropriate way. Are they authentically learning to be empathetic problem solvers and reflective critical thinkers as they learn to navigate through life? When children play, guided by quality early childhood educators, they are learning focus, self-control, perspective taking, communication, how to make connections, to take on challenges and to become self-directed, engaged learner (Thank you, Ellen Galinsky!!!) Your snide comments are cynical and jaded. I am thrilled with parents in my preschool who take an active role in their children's education - even though, we aren't doing any "real" work yet. Why shouldn't young children take pride in their accomplishments? Why shouldn't parents have an opportunity to joyfully (and tearfully) revel in their children's accomplishments and celebrate the year that has passed?
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Rhiana Maidenberg
02:11 PM on 06/01/2012
Well, in my defense, I didn't really give this speech at my child's preschool graduation. i mean, most of them don't understand internet slang.
04:35 PM on 06/01/2012
Get over it. I think there is a huge problem with children expecting grandiose praise for very little thing that they accomplish. My husband is a first grade teacher and if he doesn't constantly reaffirm his kids they are literally screaming and throwing tantrums. Let's think about this rationally. I am in my thirties, and I did not have a preschool or kindergarten graduation. Heck, I don't even remember those years. As a matter of fact, my first graduation was from high school and then college. Was I scarred by that fact that I did not have those little milestone graduations? Um, that would be a no. Do I understand that you are not given a pat on the back for every accomplishment and job well done? Why, yes I do. My point is, we need to realize that by swooning over every little thing our kids do is ultimately a destructive and self serving behavior. When this generation the enters the workforce, and the real world, they are going to be in a world of hurt when they realize that it's not all about them. Furthermore, when the realization hits that sometimes life can be a little hard and unfair they may curl up in the fetal position and zone out. It's like every kid having to make the team in sports now-a-days, but that is a whole other discussion.
08:29 AM on 06/01/2012
I really take offense to the cynical tone of this article. I almost lost my son to cancer before he was one. I myself have had numerous major surgeries for a precancerous and uncureable condition. Nothing is gauranteed. Life is meant to be celebrated. Who knows if I will make it to see my kids graduate high school or college. I personally will be enjoying my daughter's preschool graduation today and I will be living in the moment just happy that I am still here to see it and to celebrate another milestone in her life. In no way is this going to take away from the excitement of other graduations.
05:58 PM on 06/01/2012
No one was making light of cancer. You have a unique situation and sure, we shouldn't take our kids for granted. But there is also just taking sarcastic humor as humor and nothing else. You've taken this way personally. Glad you and your son seem to be ok now. So it's ok to laugh sometimes.
10:57 AM on 06/02/2012
Did I say anyone was making light of cancer? No. My point is, it isn't wrong to celebrate the little things in life.
chillis
saints are sinners that keep on trying
04:20 AM on 06/01/2012
Thank you! This was hilarious. If they graduate from preschool, kindergarten, elementary school,and middle school, it kind of takes away the excitement of high school graduation. When you add in awards ceremonies for each report card period, I think we are straying into overkill.
03:44 AM on 06/01/2012
I thoroughly enjoyed this x] I actually wish my mom had written me something like this. We could've had a good laugh about it now. Then again, I don't exactly remember having a full-blown preschool graduation.

Anyway, why take this so seriously? There are plenty of times when it's a total drag to raise a preschooler, despite how much we love them. And then to have them getting not only praise, but a full out graduation, for showing up, playing nicely with the other kids, and learning to write their names? I wouldn't condone a parent telling their kid to their face that their achievements are minor and nothing special, but geez, joking isn't a crime, especially since parents' lives aren't exactly a walk in the park. And besides, when they grow up, I'm quite certain that they find it pretty silly that they were once praised so excessively for counting from one to ten successfully.
07:07 PM on 05/31/2012
How incredibly cynical and rude. Congrats to you for making fun of parents and children for celebrating a miles stone. Childhood and parenthood are full of them. And if you haven't heard yet, they come and go awfully fast. I for one really enjoyed watching my 4 yr old sing and sign 'What a Wonderful World' at her "graduation" ceremony. Guess I was one of those loser parents that video taped it and actually popped at tear at the incredibly sweet moment. FYI, just so you know, this can be a scary time for your little graduate. Let's hope you're a little more sensitive than you seem from this article. Signed, Mom of a 9yr old, 5 yr old and 11day old.
10:17 PM on 05/31/2012
I too, sat through my preschooler's graduation just yesterday, all the while videotaping and snapping photos. However, I totally agree with the sentiment of this article. I was a very supportive parent to my little one, but preschool graduation???? Really?!?!
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Rhiana Maidenberg
02:15 PM on 06/01/2012
Can't we just "celebrate" moving on to kindergarten, but not "graduate" from kindergarten? Let's not pretend that our children worked really hard to accomplish anything. All they had to do was show up- and for many that was only twice a week.
06:28 PM on 05/31/2012
Someone sounds a little bitter.

It may be a little unnecessary, but as long as it's fun, then who cares?
04:10 PM on 05/31/2012
As a pre-school teacher, I beg to differ with your opinion of what a pre-school curriculum consists of...The days of learning to finger paint, singing ABC, and such are history! We are now required to have our students learning to write their FULL names, as well as all letters of alphabet, numbers up to 20, recognize lower and upper case letters, know the sounds each letter makes, and know site words (a, the, and, my, at, etc..). Most of my students are reading and doing basic addition. All this is done on a half day 3 days a week schedule. We include 3 and 4 year olds in the program and it is amazing what these children are capable of doing. They work hard and are very proud of their accomplishments. I don't know where you sent your child to pre-school. It's a shame that your child wasn't able to learn in the same manner as the children at my school. Maybe then your opinion would be different.
03:36 AM on 06/01/2012
Holy crap. You're actually expected to TEACH? That must be exhausting. And here I thought you were wasting your brilliant education.
04:00 PM on 06/01/2012
they may go into kindergarten knowing how to do algebra but can they play and socialise with other kids? Probably not! Play based education is more important than teaching at this age!
03:48 AM on 06/02/2012
Now daimenystreet has the right of it..... Science has proved that early learning does not mean the child will stay ahead of other children that do not attend preschool. In my opinion it just means that children will lose out on the important parts of being a kid and having fun so that their parents will have something to brag about. I have an 18 month old that is blowing me away with the things she is saying and doing already, but I will not be putting in her in any early learning programs. She's going to have fun being a child, not sit in a classroom.....
08:27 PM on 05/30/2012
Loved this!! Will these kids , graduate again next year after kindergarten? While moving up is a special and important time, it would probably be much more appropriate to have a "moving up" party and save caps and gowns for HS. In our town we have a moving up ceremony in 5th grade, a final assembly in 8th grade and graduation in HS. While they all are basically graduations, everyone is just dressed in nice dresses and ties, and the caps and gowns come out in HS. And another issue...do they get large gifts for all these graduations?? Yikes!
07:39 PM on 05/30/2012
I'm a little unclear on what type of Preschool your child went to, but mine, as well as her 3 brothers before her, went to one that involved a bit more than "dress up" and "nose picking". My daughter turned 5 just over a month ago, and thanks in large part to her preschool, is reading on a first grade level, counts to 100, I could go on and on. Those are things she SHOULD be recognized for and proud of herself for. There's nothing wrong with praising a child. With the way education is going, I'd think that anything that encourages a child to keep at it is a good thing. Even if that means I have 4 different awards assemblies to be at all on the same day.
06:29 PM on 05/31/2012
It has been scientifically proven that all the "early learning" really doesn't make a difference in where kids end up later. The kids (like mine) that stay at home and just get to be kids until it's time to go to school will learn the same things and be at the same level later on. I am a prime example. I never went to preschool, yet when I got to school (started in Kindergarten) I learned quickly, excelled, and skipped 3 grades. All without the early learning that parents are pushing on their kids nowadays. I, personally, think that the parents are pushing their kids too early so they can get bragging rights. "Little Johnny is only 18 months old and can read, what can YOUR kid do?"....... Makes me a little nauseous. My 18 month old and 4 year old can't read yet, and so what? When I started school 35 years ago, no child my age could read, including myself. Now if they can't they are behind? I don't think so......
07:15 PM on 06/01/2012
You're right :-) I didn't go to preschool and I made it all the way through college with plans to eventually continue on into a grad program (someday lol!). However, I do think that preschool can be beneficial but is not neccessary for a childs overall academic success. I thought this article was pretty darn amusing :-)