Sexpelled: No Intercourse Allowed

Posted April 18, 2008 | 03:18 PM (EST)



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Sexpelled


Anticipating success with their feature film Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed, Producers Mark Mathis, Logan Craft and Walt Ruloff have already leaked a teaser trailer for the film's sequel. Their "teach the controversy" slogan seemed to work well in getting the general public to believe that Intelligent Design is a viable alternative scientific theory to Evolution, so the team has moved on to promoting other theories that they feel are being suppressed by the scientific community. Sexpelled: No Intercourse Allowed tells of how Sex Theory has thrived unchallenged in the ivory towers of academia, as the explanation for how new babies are created. Proponents of Stork Theory claim that "Big Sex" has been suppressing their claim that babies are delivered by storks. Furthermore, Stork Theory proponents warn of the serious moral dangers posed by teaching children that sex has a function. They point out that evil dictators such as Hitler, Stalin and Mao all believed in Sex Theory, and they may have even had sex themselves.

There is also a late-breaking new development in the controversy, a new theory called Avian Transportation Theory.

Unlike the original Stork Theory, the modern, sophisticated "Avian Transportation Theory" (ATT) merely points out that there are gaps in the orthodox Sex Theory, and that current sonogram imaging is unreliable. Moreover ATT does not specify that babies are necessarily brought by storks but by "large birds unspecified" (although many individual ATT theorists PRIVATELY believe it is a stork).

See more about Expelled

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PZ's post

Another funny 'teach the controversy' video posted today

richarddawkins.net

 

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This film's target audience is the scientifically ignorant ( they may have flunked out of high school General Science and never dared to try again out of fear and, ultimately, "bitterness" ).

Unfortunately, this audience is also a CAPTIVE audience; they are very unlikely to be reached by a rational, scientific rebuttal, as that would require them to have a basic understanding of science, which they don't have.

I don't have any quick solutions for this ignorance, but I believe that a beginners course in Formal Logic should be required in High School, since science ultimately relies on logic.

favoriteFavorite Flag as abusive Posted 10:36 AM on 04/21/2008

And how about "Earthpelled"? After all, the Church used to teach that, based on the Bible, the Earth is the center of the universe, and that everything else goes around the Earth. The Church even went so far as to torture to death a few scientists who disagreed with them. (Now there's something for the religiously oriented to fight for - "bring back torture!" - oh, I forgot, they've already won that battle.) It is downright anti-intellectual not to teach the theory of earthnocentrism in every class dedicated to astrophysics.

There are all kinds of things that the Church used to demand adherence to. One could research all of the crazy things they used to teach as "truth", and demand that they all be brought back into the classroom, and taught alongside physics, biology, astronomy, chemistry, anatomy, paleontology, hygiene, logic, calculus, .................heck, why don't we just make all women wear burkhas, all men grow beards, and close the hospitals, while we're at it. Pretty soon the population explosion, and global warming, would be solved, because there wouldn't be enough people left to hurt the planet!

favoriteFavorite Flag as abusive Posted 06:52 AM on 04/19/2008

Just because you and your liberal ilk have decided that babies only come from sex doesn't mean that there isn't evidence to prove that it's large birds, possibly storks. As the bible says, "And god created man in his image, and woman came later, carried by birds--Genesis 8:16." Clearly, God may have something to say about where babies come from, and until scientists prove that Sex=babies is more than a theory, then children should be taught ALL possibilities.

favoriteFavorite Flag as abusive Posted 01:57 AM on 04/19/2008

Excellent. Humorous.

favoriteFavorite Flag as abusive Posted 07:59 PM on 04/18/2008

Go Richard!

favoriteFavorite Flag as abusive Posted 07:18 PM on 04/18/2008

Don't laugh.... I just pitched a product placement movie called "FedExpelled" where FedEx takes over the country and gets all the trains to run on time and the hero is Ben Stein who, as a cranky old delivery guy, gets marooned in an Alabama swamp where he mates with a volleyball and their offspring prove evolution but then FedEx has to kill them all and then the Predator mates with the Terminator and they hire Rob Lowe's nanny who, after winning her lawsuit, joins the marines and goes to Iraq and wins the war and then Rocky kills the antichrist in the 12th round. And that's just the first reel. During my Academy Award speech I thank Ben Stein because if he can get that movie made anyone can get any movie made.

favoriteFavorite Flag as abusive Posted 06:49 PM on 04/18/2008

Ben Stein hosted the most boring game show of all time.
That isn't easy.
I *can't wait* to see the movie!

favoriteFavorite Flag as abusive Posted 05:21 PM on 04/18/2008

Boring is what Stein does. It's his shtick.

favoriteFavorite Flag as abusive Posted 05:35 PM on 04/21/2008

LOL...genius.

favoriteFavorite Flag as abusive Posted 04:32 PM on 04/18/2008
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