As My Household Shows, We're a Divided Nation

I am worried. Just back from the Democratic Convention in Denver, an almost joyous event that was arguably a seminal moment of our time, I have never been this charged up, this excited, this hopeful and this concerned. Charged up that I am a part of genuine movement of people, of citizens, to positively alter the course of history. Excited that I have witnessed a unified front coming from a once fractious Democratic Party. Hopeful that the course of events culminating in the great Obama speech has swayed the fence-sitters to jump off and join in. But concerned that the politics of propaganda and panic will induce the middle of the voting pack to fall back on old rhetoric and Cold War paranoia.

I was oh-so anxious to return home and discuss the week's events with my wife. My wife, Sheila of the Hillary camp, of the middle-American, working-class, Catholic, voting block, of a father who landed on Omaha Beach in June of '44 and who wouldn't vote for John Kerry four years ago because the young Kerry had returned from Viet Nam and while still a soldier voiced opposition to the war; Sheila of an extended clan of old coal miners and blue-collar patriots who believe in family values and God and winning with honor.

We had fought like pack dogs throughout the primary season; myself for Joe Biden early on and then for the ultimate nominee, Barack Obama, and Sheila for Hillary Clinton, a woman she grew to admire and idolize. And throughout the primary season, she persisted in warning me that she, along with an army of Hillary-ites, infuriated by real and perceived misogyny and mistreatment by the press, will abandon the Democrats and vote for Republican John McCain.

Then, as it became clear that the inevitable winner would be Obama, Sheila warned that she would bale again if Hillary wasn't the Vice-Presidential nominee. One day before the convention, Joe Biden, my guy, was chosen. She showed me the emails that spread rumor of dissent, of protest plans and walk-outs. None of it happened. Hillary and Bill were magnanimous and magnificent in their mutual calls for unity and their unqualified support for Obama. And conventioneers rejoiced with a singular voice. I imagined Sheila moved to tears as she watched from home. I thought: done deal! Let's move on and take the whole shebang.

I came home exhilarated, kissed my kids, kissed my wife and with eyes wide open asked: "Well?" She was: "impressed but not convinced"; "moved but not moving"; and, unbelievable to my ears, "still considering McCain". I love my wife... but sometimes not so much. Frustration and fights can muck up a good thing. And just when a thing can move past differences and into the realm of peace and prosperity, another thing - an old idea or new interpretation or any spark that relights the paradigms that comfort us - will keep us where we are, where it is safe. Therein lies the challenge: this promise of change is a scary proposition.

It seems not to matter that we are at the brink of a war that may spread beyond Afghanistan and Iraq to Iran and Georgia and then where? To Syria? To North Korea? To China? That we in America are in economic doldrums and are seeing small businesses fold and houses reclaimed by banks and a smouldering panic that is palpable everywhere. My beautiful and loving wife, despite seeing her own small business begin to show troubling signs of downturn after years of worry-free success, despite her passion on women's issues, despite having a son and daughter who may be conscripted, may vote for the party responsible for the entire mess.

I will sneak out early on election day, vote, get a tub of roses and a vat of champagne and hold my wife hostage in love and seduction until she realizes that the booths have closed and her voting rights expired. Perhaps we can do the same in western Pennsylvania and Ohio and Indiana - we'll have hoedowns and square-dances and prayer meetings and whiskey and make the whole lot of them happily drunk and content enough for inaction.

But the bottom line is that this is where we are: a still fractious and divided nation, split right down the middle, as represented by my very own household. I am moved to think that we, along with the Obama/Biden team, will begin to change the very culture of the way we do business with each other and the world at large. That we should use "Example as power rather than power as example"; that "America's promise [is] of a democracy where we can find the strength and grace to bridge divides and unite in common effort."

I ask myself why these tenets are so rejected by the opposition, by my wife. Is it racism? Is it the propaganda of family values and God and the manifest destiny of American domination of the world as a righteous cause? Is it that John McCain is still perceived as a maverick and revered for his heroic war service? Is it the singular issue for some women that Hillary Clinton was castigated in certain media and an object of old-school misogyny that is unacceptable and cause enough to abandon the very politics that she supports?

I can't answer these questions, as I don't understand the thinking and emotional investment that defends them.

My opinion of John McCain is different. Here is a man who had his moment in history already pass him by. After being eviscerated and politically castrated in the 2000 Republican primaries by the Bush PR machine; accused falsely of fathering an illegitimate and racially mixed child, he was given a chance at redemption and a chance to save the world from a man he considered at the time to be dangerous and untrustworthy. He could have run as a third party candidate and taken enough votes away from George W. to seal the election for Al Gore. He passed.

Four years later, John Kerry had talks with McCain about running as his Vice-President; a dream ticket that would surely bring down the Bush regime. Again he passed. When I ask Washington insiders why, they can only conclude that the reason was simple, unadulterated ambition to be President. But what a price to pay. This is a man who could have saved the world from the last eight years of disaster and instead is content to inherit the aftermath. But the other half of the divide chooses to imagine the younger McCain, the independent, free thinking, iconoclast he may very well have been once, long ago.

And now McCain has picked Sarah Palin of Alaska for the office of Vice-President. I'm sure she is capable of governing the frozen tundra of her state (couldn't help myself) and is surely a force to be reckoned with on some level. But no one can convince me thatMcCain has chosen a running mate who is capable of stepping into the Oval Office in the event of the death of the President. And let's face it, that scenario isn't beyond the realm of possibility. And even with this, I hear in real and electronic voices "we like her," "she's warm and personable," she's a soccer mom who has become accomplished and powerful." What?

And so we stay divided: My country, my wife and I. I am stumped. But I am stubborn in my hope that Americans across the great divide, including one who sleeps in my bed, will wake up to more lofty dreams.

I imagine an America that can actually change. That we become a nation that prospers again but without pillaging the resources of nations that make their people hate us. That we become a nation that, as the constitution says in its preamble, its very first paragraph, "promotes the general welfare" of its people.

When new ideas and belief-altering evidence confronts us, many of us still shout that the world is flat, or global climate change is cyclical, or women belong in the home. I can only remember when great agents of change come to us, it seems as many reject their presence as rejoice in it. Kennedy won office by the slimmest margin in our history to that point. Martin Luther King made as many or more enemies than there were marchers by his side.

Many of us Americans are still inert, isolated and content to stay on our couches and watch on television and iPods as the world goes by. This idea of change means, at least, getting up, going out into the real world and opening our eyes. It seems too much of an effort for many of us. Much to my utter shock, after eight years of what most Americans consider a disaster in the Oval Office, we again face an election that may come down to the wire, neck and neck.

I can only hope that the roses and champagne do their magic and maybe this change I hope for will win by just that one vote. It may be that close.

Originally published in the London Independent

Comments

[Blurp]

"...hoedowns and square-dances???" No wonder they think we're aloof elitists.

[Zoidie]

I empathize with you and your wife sir, but am curious. How does your wife reconcile the cognitive dissonance?

I too was a Hilary supporter, who now supports Senator Obama. I am sick to my stomach with the lack of goodness, poetry, consciousness and integrity in the republican approach to all manner of significant issues. The republican party today is a not the party of Eisenhower and Lincoln. It's the party of thugs, guns, expediency, cynicism and racism.

So I'll ask again; how does your wife reconcile the inherent inconsistencies in her thinking?

[caril]

Richard... thank you very much for this posting.

It pretty much summarizes everything I am hearing from my more conservative friends... on Friday a guy I work with said he was ready for the first time in his life to vote Democratic, but "Obama just doesn't have enough experience." I pointed out that he had as much experience as Lincoln had when he was elected, and that Bush didn't have much experience either. He remained unswayed, looking off into the distance... "they just didn't give me anyone I can vote for.... so I still haven't decided." I offered to decide for him... saying our country could not take 4 more years of more Bush.

Clearly this is thinly disguised racism... he just can not bring himself to vote for a black man.

An my uncle from the south... a died in the wool Repub... who recognizes the horrors Bush/Cheney have inflicted on our country and the world... came right out and said he could never vote for a black man... even though his granddaughter is married to a wonderful young black guy studying to be a doctor.... and he has two beautiful biracial great-gran­ddaughters that he loves dearly. Can you even believe it?

[peakness]

I feel you on this one. Last week my bestfriend eluded to her approval of a 'kick ass woman' when I brought up Palin. Unlike you, I immediately felt like the friendship was on the line. I had switch the topic to avoid my implosion. I, too, will be doing my own distracting tactic to divert her from the poll. After November, I'll work to trickle in the necessary education.

We need to recognize this "gut feelings" politic. We need to value the concerns, then redirect them to a practical solution. Make top ten lists of the crucial issues and compare. See how theirs pan out in a hypothetical discussion. Point out their inevitable disappointments, if our larger obligation of a nation isn't fulfilled.

It’s like... we can't afford the bandage when a major surgery is needed. More can't be taking the risk in a shaky surgeon that could drop dead and leave us with an intern while our chest are cut open. Sex and gender will appear completely as non issues.

[TheFirst]

Richard: I too am worried. I am reminded of a paragraph in Toni Morrison’s endorsement of Barack Obama. It reads as follows: “Our future is ripe, outrageously rich in its possibilities. Yet unleashing the glory of that future will require a difficult labor, and some may be so frightened of its birth they will refuse to abandon their nostalgia for the womb.” Yes, Richard there are those who will never ‘abandon the womb.’ But how many will abandon THIS TIME will determine how far this country has actually evolved.

[jakie]

ALL OF MY SISTERS AND NEICES WHERE FOR HILLARY AND THEY THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY THAT I WAS FOR OBAMA BUT WHEN OBAMA WAS THE NOMINEE THEY ALL CAME TO HIM THEY ARE DONATING AND WORKING FOR HIM

[Meteor]

A lot can happen between today and the election. If your wife is happy about how things have gone during the past 8 years, her vote will probably go to McCain, but if she feels things should be governed better, her thoughts and emotions will go toward Obama as Hillary's did. In the last analysis, Hillary is a political realist and that may make the important difference for your wife. Hillary will be in the Senate, a very important position in the coming years.

[Teritt]

I understand how you feel, Mr. Schiff. I live in a small community in North Florida - represented by the infamous chair tossing, ABC cameraman headbutting Rep. John Mica - and I am completely surrounded by McCain supporters. I've had my Obama sign taken from my front yard. I get laughed at as the "token Democrat" in my neighborhood fish shack (where I was asked to remove my Obama button). My husband feels so sorry for me, and keeps telling me not to take it personally. If there's one thing I've learned about the Republican base, they are motivated by first and foremost by FEAR. I truly believe they aren't all bigots, but they are afraid of change, and are in complete denial that the Republican policies of the past 10 years are what delivered the mess we are currently in.

[Strepsi]

You are right, America is divided down the middle: why? Because there are ONLY 2 PARTIES to choose from. The U.S. is supposed to be about Democracy, freedom, and choice, and yet is almost the only developed country with only 2 parties -- this is a "democracy deficit". And BOTH PARTIES COLLUDE to keep it this way. When Mastercard, Visa, and American Express were were acting always the same, in effect forming one monopoly, the government investigated. It is no different in politics -- the 2 parties together make it impossible for real change. Until you get a third party, your country will remain evenly divided -- and your democracy broken.

[brooklyncitizen]

The Palin nomination is a reminder of how we have to keep a close watch on our civil rights- we took them for granted and they are slipping away.

[brooklyncitizen]

"I ask myself why these tenets are so rejected by the opposition, by my wife"

Indeed. I spent three hours yesterday on the phone with a friend who is older than me and simply put fits the Hillary disgruntled white boomer female voter demographic. She is in her 50's and I am a generation X hispanic female late 30's.In spite of our cultural differences we have always shared the same values and positions......and yet I had no idea she was one of those Hillary supporters. Not a clue since we always talk about things that are more interesting and personal. Her son a new college grad of course is mobilized to support Obama and has relocated to Penn so he can cast his vote in that swing state...God bless him. : )

What is clear to me is that this group of women who were in the forefront of the women's movement still bear the scars of all the sexism they experienced (Anita Hill anyone?) Consequently their filter is one of past grievances not current issues and not Big Picture and they are blinded. I could not dissuade her but I did plant lots of information which I hope she mulls over ....I will be visiting her (we are in differnt parts of the country) and will continue the sell for Obama. I don't believe Obama has all the answers but I am convinced that McCain / Palin have none of the answers.

[dalaiwonka]

great article Mr. Schiff....i am currently watching the west wing for the first time and i am so glad that you as a person seem to have some of the same values as the character you played....im looking forward to reading more of your thoughts....thanx!

[PennP]

Instead of "seduction," why not try education? As a woman, I've found the politically sophomoric attitudes and ideas expressed by masses of women among the most shocking and disheartening revelations of this campaign. I've come to the conclusion that they're not making the connections and seeing the big picture, or they value having a "girl" in the White House more than the survival of the country, or their attitudes toward race have them clinging to the smears of Obama as "evidence" that he's unsuitable.

I fear the last reason has much more heft than many of us would like to believe. Hillary's explicit appeal to the interests of, as she so baldly put it, "hardworking, white Americans" plays to the bias that seems pretty prevalent in the blue-collar, religious, "patriotic" sector. Obama himself acknowledged the rage of this group, but that does nothing to deflect or diffuse their feelings. And they're the last people who want to talk about race, unless it's to rail against affirmative action and spit bullets about the person of color who was promoted over them--always unfairly.

I am donating and doing volunteer work for his campaign, but I am no longer optimistic about an Obama victory.

[zizyphus]

If those mothers who consider voting Republican would consider this: under McCain Palin, women would lose the right to an abortion in the case of incest or rape, and would be denied any form of contraception.

So, if your 12 year year old daughter was raped, comatose and pregnant, she would have to bear the rapist's spawn, under their neocon Republican dream ticket. Is that the kind of future you really want for our girls? I don't think so.

[Chbronze]

These are the same fear tactics democrats accuse the republicans of every day. We may not agree with the abortion thing but alot of us feel if thats what you want to do, Go for it. It probably means less democrats.

[VegasBabe]

I am not favored with a great many friends, but, to be sure, any who would vote for McCain could no longer be called friend but foe! Republicans are racist--is there any doubt? Look at their makeup? Did you not see the convention? How many faces and ages were present besides white and old? I will not support anyone who dares to question a woman's authority over her own body! Or who would return the draft! Or who supported Bush! Or who attempts to make a mockery of HRC's accomplishments! Or whose hypocrisy is so evident, is palatable! This nation is changing, thank God, whether you like it or not, and those who can't handle the diverse populace we've become, choosing instead to maintain the status quo, have no place here. If not this election, soon! Our young will see to that!

[queotic]

"Did you not see the convention?"

At the Democratic convention, you saw black, white, Latino, Asian, young, old, business suits and t shirts and jeans and everything in between. The Republican convention, on the other hand, had to use stock photos of black people to give the appearance of being "diverse."

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/9/5/153224/4904/749/588112

The Republican party is in the grips of those who can't let go of the past and the Democrats represent all of us who have moved on and are willing to work together despite our differences.