Aug. 10, 2009, News Update

AUG. 10, 2009, NEWS UPDATE

Sonia Sotomayor confirmed as member of the Supremes. Story front-paged by the Post....the Washington Post, that is. Not the New York Post....maybe they don't know she's from New York.

Thirty-one Republican Senators vote against. Some of them actually wanted to vote in favor, but they've forgotten how to cast an Aye vote. Unless it's something the NRA supports.

Sotomayor sworn in as first Latina, third woman. When do we stop counting? Lou Dobbs demands she show her birth certificate before being admitted to Court.

Shock jock Don Imus calls Dobbs "grassy knoll nut." That's no way to talk about a guy who spends his weekend flying aboard UFO's.

Scalia and Alito complain about references to Sotomayor's ethnicity. If she's really ethnic, why doesn't her name end in a vowel?

Clarence Thomas welcomes her to the High Court by flashing...then giving her can of Coke with pubic hair on it.

Paula Abdul leaving "American Idol." Does that mean President Obama gets to nominate her successor?

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad sworn in as President of Iran, kisses Supreme Leader Khameini on shoulder. That was in public. Guess where he kissed him in private?

Khameini orders closing of Teheran prison where election result protesters were allegedly tortured and killed. Think he might be interested in leasing Guantanamo?

Former President Bill Clinton goes to North Korea, secures release of two imprisoned American journalists. Former UN Ambassador (still hard to believe) John Bolton and other conservatives criticize mission as kowtowing to dictator. President Obama refrains from saying they "acted stupidly."

Hillary Clinton observes that if Obama walked on water, conservatives would say he couldn't swim.

New York Post Headline: "Bubba Gets The Chicks." Another reminder that Post is published as daily challenge to First Amendment.

Newsweek cover: "The Recession Is Over." Yeah, maybe for Goldman Sachs, but tell that to the millions of Americans who are out of work and who have lost their homes.

Labor Department reports "only" quarter of a million people lost their jobs last week. You know we're in trouble when that's considered "good news."

Wing Nuts organize vocal protests against health insurance reform at town meetings, call them "grass roots movements." More like Astro-Turf...or is that Astro-Turd? CBS News doesn't get it.

MSNBC allows Richard Wolffe, corporate lobbyist, to substitute for Keith Olbermann. Who do they think they are, The Washington Post?

Glenn Beck, of the troglodyte throwBecks, says Obama is "racist." Wonder how many beers he had before making that observation.

Michael Vick provisionally re-instated in NFL. Just don't refer to him as an underdog.

Autopsy of huckster Billy Mays shows cocaine in system. Now you know why he was always so hyper.

In online Time Magazine poll, Jon Stewart named America's Most Trusted Newsman. That's enough to make Walter Cronkite think about making a comeback.

Asylum.Com lists 19 "hottest" TV "newswomen." Appropriately named website. Wonder if they'll ever do list of 19 "smartest" newswomen. Naah.