August 21 News Update

Shocking news from Middle East! Cease fire ceasing.

After UN resolution passes, claims of victory all around. Only real winners: Syria and Iran. Big losers: Lebanon, all the dead innocent civilians and the Peace Process. The What? The Peace Process. Oh, that.

President Bush said to be frustrated with lack of progress in Iraq. Finally woke up and smelled the Kaffiyah.

On campaign swing, Bush accuses Democrats of wanting to lose anti-terrorist battleground by "cut and run" policy in Iraq. Doesn't let frustration get in way of politics.

President said to have read Camus' "The Stranger" on vacation. Or at least the Cliff Notes. Kafka might have been more appropriate.

Federal Judge rules Bush's wiretapping without warrants unconstitutional. Back to Independence Square One, i.e., The Constitution.

Sore Loser Joe Lieberman says Ned Lamont's Iraq policy would be "tremendous victory" for terrorists like would-be London bombers. New whine in old bottles.

VP Cheney says Lamont's win will embolden "Al Qaeda" types. Sen. Kerry accuses Lieberman of adopting "Cheney rhetoric." Which is worse--being lumped in with Al Qaeda or Cheney?

Republican Party leaders dump on alleged GOP candidate for Senate in Connecticut, White House withholds support. Schlesinger to be replaced by Rodney Dangerfield?

British Petroleum cuts back on production in Alaska because of corroded pipelines. BP--Beyond Petroleum or Bigger Profits?

Dell recalls millions of computers because of exploding batteries. Uh-oh, there go carry-on PC's.

"Snakes on a Plane" disappoints at box office. No more carry-on serpents either.

"World Trade Center" gets OK reviews, does OK business. Oliver Stone un-stoned.

Poll shows one third of Americans believe Federal Government involved in 9/11 attacks. Next Oliver Stone movie?

Wal-Mart profits drop 26%. Andrew Young, hired by Wal-Mart to help improve public image, resigns after making politically incorrect remarks. Democrats make Wal-Mart campaign target for low wages. Sell.

Mel Gibson cops a plea. Too bad he didn't know how to please a cop.