12/17/2007 06:25 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Dec. 17, 2007 News Update

Former Sen. George Mitchell reports widespread drug abuse in Major League Baseball. So, George, how about the NFL, the NBA and the horse racing industry?

Russian President Putin endorses presidential candidacy of loyal protégé, who says he'll make Putin Prime Minister. At least Putin didn't name his wife.

Former chess champion Gary Kasparov forced to disband Putin opposition party. Politics ain't beanbag. Chess is beanbag.

Pakistani President Musharraf steps down as army chief. Makes him ripe for military coup?

Former cricket star and Pakistani opposition leader Imran Khan released from house arrest. Politics ain't beanbag. Cricket is beanbag.

Ice Storm blitzes Midwest. Bad news: Thousands without power. Good news: Campaigning in Iowa brought to a halt.

Republican and Democratic presidential candidates hold final debates in Iowa before caucuses. Hallelujah! Christmas comes early.

Mike Huckabee raises question of whether Mormons believe Jesus and satan are brothers.

Not so, Mike. They just have the same birthday.

Huckabee also describes Bush foreign policy as having "arrogant bunker mentality." At least he got that right.

Hillary Clinton fires campaign aide who suggested Barack Obama's involvement with drugs as a young man. Didn't he know people raised as extremist Muslims don't use drugs?

President Bush issues end-of-year pardons, Libby not included. Patience, Scooter, Patience. You'll get yours next Christmas.

Alan Greenspan predicts recession, while critics claim his policies led to subprime fiasco. In his autobiography, Greenspan says many ideas came to him in bathtub. Bet you didn't know interest rates were related to rubber duckies.

Connecticut Sen. Joe Lieberman, Democrat turned Independent, endorses John McCain for President. With a nod to Dixie Chicks, I voted against him, and I'm ashamed he represents my state.

Dallas Cowboys Quarterback Tony Romo dating Jessica Simpson. On Sunday, he played like Jessica Simpson.

Miami Dolphins finally win a game. Too bad they didn't wait until next week--against the Patriots.

No Nativity Scene in Congress this year. Supreme Court rules the US Capitol cannot have a Nativity scene this Christmas season. No religious reasons involved, they just couldn't find three wise men and a virgin in Washington. There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable. (Internet Anonymous).