12/29/2008 12:23 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Dec. 29, 2008, News Update

DEC. 29, 2008. News Update.

Hamas kills Israelis with rockets from Gaza. Israel kills Palestinians with air raids. Hey, where's the Christmas spirit?

Christmas observed. Best present for America. George W. Bush has only 25 days left in office.

And Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. His name is Uncle Sam.

Hannukah observed, commemorating time when oil supply for one day miraculously lasted 8 nights. If Jews had taken over Detroit instead of Hollywood, we might have cars getting 160 mpg today.

Whatever happened to Kwanzaa?

American retailers ask whatever happened to Christmas?

President-elect Obama vacations in Hawaii. White House press corps salivates at precedent. Best vacationing President ever for press: Richard Nixon. Summer in San Clemente. Winter in Key Biscayne.

SecState Condoleezza Rice says she would do Iraq invasion 1,000 times over. And they still wouldn't get it right.

CIA using Viagra to bribe tribal leaders in Afghanistan. It's called Operation Stand Up for Freedom.

Chicago Tribune Co. files for bankruptcy under real estate peddler Sam Zell. And he didn't even get to be on television like real estate peddler Mort Zuckerman, who owns money-losing NY Daily News.

New York Yankees sign Mark Teixeira to multi-milliion dollar contract, following mega-bucks deals with C. C. Sabitha and A.J. Burnett. General manager appropriately named Cashman. Maybe the Yanks can bail out GM and Chrysler?

Detroit Lions go 0-16, first ofer in NFL history. Omen for auto industry?

Somali pirates continue trying to hijack ships on high seas. Doesn't Blackwater have a navy?

New York Jets don't make playoffs. Hey Brett, time to retire again -- and stay retired.